


I Want You to Want Me

by CaliBDiamond



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anakin does a No-No, Cheating, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Infidelity, Pining, Romantic Angst, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:47:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 50,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25293427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaliBDiamond/pseuds/CaliBDiamond
Summary: When Padme's away, Anakin makes the poor decision to find someone else with which to play.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker/Original Female Character(s), Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 36
Kudos: 51





	1. To Be Alone With You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ScratchTheMaven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScratchTheMaven/gifts).



Anakin could not believe the rotten luck he was having. He had taken special care to arrange this leave time for himself and his men— _planned_ out nearly a whole week of things to do with Padme around her ridiculous schedule—and she wasn’t even _here_. _A women’s retreat_ was what Threepio had called it. Some sacred ritual bantha shit that Padme had been invited too and hadn’t had the decency to tell him about. If he’d known, he wouldn’t have bothered with all of this. What the hell was he supposed to do with his time now? He couldn’t just scoop the clones up and head back out. It wasn’t fair to them when he’d promised them some well-deserved time off. Besides, he knew he could use the rest as well. It still didn’t change the fact that he was damn _livid_ his own wife wasn’t courteous enough to send _some_ kind of message to warn him not to bother with any of this. It didn’t matter how _last minute_ it was. He always _tried_ to tell her if he wasn’t going to be able to make one of their meetups. If he hadn’t made Artoo look into this _Sisterhood of Ta’fan-jirah_ to find out if it was a real thing or not, he might’ve suspected her of running off to spend time with someone else. Threepio wasn’t programmed to lie, and he certainly wouldn’t _lie_ to Anakin. But with the way things were lately, Anakin wouldn’t have been surprised if Padme had let someone tinker with the droid to make it easier to manipulate his behaviors.

He’d tried to put the thoughts into the back of his head, distracting himself with putting his energy into repairing a Starfighter that had come in with a wrecked engine and faulty fuel line. It worked for a little while. It was always easier for him to relax and forget his anxious thoughts when he had something to do with his hands. Although, he wished to himself that he was doing something _better_ with his hands than fixing a damn fighter bird. He couldn’t remember the last time he and Padme had gone to bed together. Weeks— _months_ ago, maybe? Long enough for it to weigh on his mind and disrupt his dreams on an almost nightly basis. He could handle it on his own when he had the time for it—which was almost _never_ when he was out on the frontlines—but he never expected to have to take care of the problem himself when he was back on Coruscant. He was no expert on marriage, but Anakin was pretty sure that most married people had more sex than he did. Hell, he was pretty sure the clones had more sex than he did at this point. What a joke. He was in the middle of grumbling to himself about this fact, and tightening the bolts on the panel he’d just replaced when he felt a light tap against the bottom of one of his boots.

“Just a sec,” he muttered, tentatively feeling out into the Force to try and identify the presence requesting his attention. When he recognized the signature, he almost groaned. He really did not want to deal with whatever _she_ had come to complain about. It was always **something** , too. Huffing as he finished the bolts, Anakin reached for the wipe cloth he’d set on his chest and scooted out from beneath the fighter, cleaning his hands off. He didn’t look up when he spoke. “Jedi Tacor, can I help you?”

Iza Tacor was an anomaly in the eyes of the other Jedi, much like himself. Trained under Master Windu, she had a calm, sweet outer exterior that completely evaporated the minute she set foot on the battlefield. The whispers around the Temple suggested she’d been spending too much time with her clones, as she’d adopted more of a soldier’s mentality that had seemingly overridden her more peaceful Jedi nature. To Anakin, she’d always been this way. Perhaps not quite so _vicious_ , but she’d always been a little on the _enthusiastic_ side. Even Master Obi-Wan said she’d been like this when she was younger, and he had known her much longer than Anakin had. But Anakin wasn’t always _fond_ of Iza and Iza wasn’t always fond of him. They worked well together in certain settings, but this was not a Jedi he often found himself wanting to associate with on a personal level unless he absolutely had to. Things had been different when they were Padawans. He wasn’t quite sure _what_ had changed.

“I’m hungry,” Iza said it like she expected him to do something about it. It made Anakin look up for about half a minute before he scoffed and moved to get to his feet.

“ _Okay?_ ” Tossing the wipe cloth aside, he shook his head at her as if she were crazy and searched the toolbox for his hydrospanner. “You came all the way in here to tell _me_ that?”

“I need a ride,” she watched him for a moment before her hand twitched at her side and Anakin heard the metallic _clink_ of something rolling out from beneath the fighter. Twisting to find the tool he’d been looking for, he sucked lightly at his teeth and cussed under his breath before bending to pick it up.

“Can’t you get your Commander to take you?”

“I’ve given him the night off,” another wave of her hand had a nearby stool sliding across the hangar floor so she could sit. “Come on Ani, _please?_ ”

“How come you still haven’t learned how to drive?” Going back over to the fighter, he pretended to search for something to work on. Maybe if he made himself look busy, she’d leave him alone.

“I’m not _allowed_ to, remember?” Iza narrowed her green eyes at him, lips pulling down in a light frown. “Because of _you_.”

 _Right_. She’d taken the blame for that incident with the speeder bike, hadn’t she? It had been entirely his fault for accepting the stupid challenge in the first place, but she’d put herself on the line by insisting to both Master Windu and Master Obi-Wan that _she_ had been the one on the bike. Never mind the fact that both Jedi Masters knew good and well that Anakin had a street racing problem. He was pretty sure her driving lesson privileges had been revoked simply because she’d lied to her master. He still didn’t understand why she’d done it. She never gave him a straight answer whenever he asked.

“I’m… a little busy, Iza,” he felt a little bit like an asshole for saying it, but he really didn’t want to spend time in anyone’s company right now. He was grouchy and frustrated and he didn’t think being in a noisy diner would help that very much.

“You’re really going to make me eat rations while I’m on leave?”

“There are more than a thousand clones in the place, Iza,” Anakin waved a hand around the hangar. “Just _ask_ one.”

She looked at him for a long time and then got up from the stool, kicking it back towards where it originally sat.

“I think I’d rather take my chance with walking, thanks.”

_Hell’s bells._

“Can you just…” he raised his hands like he wasn’t sure what to say. “Give me ten minutes? I have to make sure the bird is in working order.”

“You’ve been working on it for five hours,” she folded her arms across her chest and shot him a very pointed look. “I’m sure it’s fine. Besides, it’s on the benched side of the hangar. Nobody is going to take it out for a spin.”

 _Stars_ , he really hated her sometimes.

“All right, fine. At least let me wash up.” Stooping to pick up some of his stray tools, he glanced at her and watched her nod.

“I should probably take some of this off, anyway,” Iza motioned to the various panels of armor she wore and sighed. “Should I meet you out on the ‘mac?”

“Sure. Whatever.”

The brunette made an odd noise before she turned and walked away. Once she’d gotten out of earshot, Anakin heaved out a sigh and sank against the side of the Starfighter. This really wasn’t how he wanted to spend his evening. To be honest, he wasn’t sure _how_ he’d wanted to spend his evening, but carting around the other Jedi certainly wasn’t on the list. He could’ve continued working on the bird or another bird that needed repairs. Or maybe he could have found Ahsoka and given her some menial task to do. Too bad Obi-Wan was off-world. Maybe he could have pestered him to help get him out of this. Iza seemed to like hanging around his master a lot, after all. He suspected it had a lot to do with Obi-Wan having mentored her while she was still an Initiate, though Anakin had a funny feeling sometimes that Iza hung around for other reasons. He was no stranger to the kind of sweet looks Iza often gave his former master. Padme cast them at him all the time, after all. But he knew Obi-Wan well enough to know that the older Jedi would not crumble to such looks. It almost made him feel bad for Iza. _Almost_.

Once he’d gotten the tools put away and most of the grease off of his hands, Anakin strode over to where the speeder bikes were kept and eyeballed them. It looked as though nobody had taken his favorite one. _Good_. They’d learned since the last time. Carting it out, he was about halfway to where he intended to meet the brunette when he caught sight of her strolling across the blacktop and had to pause. Ever since the war had started, Iza had slowly traded out parts of her Jedi robes for more of the modified clone armor. This wasn’t unusual. A lot of the other Jedi who’d been appointed as Generals—and even those who simply spent time out in the fray—wore bits and pieces of the armor for extra protection. But Iza seemed to have followed in Master Obi-Wan’s footsteps because he knew for a fact she owned an entire set of armor that, when she donned the helmet, fully disguised her and would likely fool most people into thinking she was another clone with a height defect. She had a set of the military greys as well and it surprised him that she hadn’t swapped out into those instead of donning what she had on currently. No—she had decided it was much more _appropriate_ to simply wear the body glove and tabard and really not much else beyond the standard sash and belt. It was damn difficult to look away from the sight of her, with her curves all on display like that.

“You sure you don’t want a cloak or anything?” Anakin found himself saying as she got closer, forcing himself to turn his eyes elsewhere. He had no right looking at her _at all_ under normal circumstances, and even less of a right to do so as a married man.

“We’re just going to Dex’s,” Iza laughed and shrugged. “The ride’s not that long and I think it’s kind of nice out. Unless you know something about the weather that I don’t.”

“No,” he shook his head, making a point to keep his gaze turned away from her. “I just remember you like to complain a lot about how cold you get riding on the back.”

“Anakin, that was when we’d sneak out and go to your races,” she folded her arms across her chest, giving him a funny look. “You also drove like a maniac at speeds that could’ve killed us. I’m sure my complaints were valid.”

“You complained about _everything_ , Iza,” Anakin couldn’t help letting out a laugh as he threw a leg over the seat and got himself situated. “It still baffles me that you even snuck out at all.”

“Someone had to keep you from getting thrown out,” Iza mumbled, mounting onto the seat behind him. After a moment or so of readjusting, she hesitantly settled against his back and slipped her arms around his waist. Anakin was suddenly all-too aware of just how warm and soft she was. It irritated him that the thought had entered his head at all and he huffed out a breath, kicking the speeder bike to life.

“Hold on,”

“I _am_ holding on,”

“No,” he glanced back over his shoulder with a brow cocked and a sly little grin curling his lips. “ _Hold on_.”

“ _Anakin—_ ”

He gave her absolutely no time to react as he pushed off and immediately zipped into the fastest speed he could without causing her to fly off the back. He felt her hands scrabble against his chest, fingers twisting tight in the leather of his tabard as she hollered some Mando’a curse word at him and pressed her face against the back of his neck. Unable to help himself, Anakin let out a whooping laugh and revved the engine, a bit startled himself when he felt the tight squeeze of her thighs against his hips. _Okay_ —she definitely had not been that strong the last time she’d been on the back of his bike. He knew she’d been following the clones’ workout regimen after morning meditation, but her outward appearance did not reflect the same amount of muscle strength he felt clamping down on him currently. _Sheesh_. It made it such a chore to concentrate for a good thirty seconds and he likely would have steered them into the back of a slow moving airspeeder if she had not jolted him back to attention.

“ ** _Skywalker_** _!_ ”

“I see it,” he whipped the bike around the airspeeder, earning a loud honk from the driver. Blowing out a hard breath as he chuckled, the younger Jedi sank back a little and grunted when Iza smacked her hand against his chest. “Hey!”

“You are the _worst_ ,” she muttered shakily. He could feel how hard her heart was racing against his back and heard her project her displeasure and fear into the Force. All right, maybe he’d gone a _little_ too far with that. They were getting close to the diner anyway so he could afford to slow down a bit. The gentle press of her chin coming to rest against his shoulder had him briefly glancing out of the corner of his eye, but he didn’t fully acknowledge it. He drove a tad more sanely for the rest of the trip, pulling into the lot and lowering the bike into a spot close to the door. Iza didn’t immediately move to dismount, but she let go of him once he’d shut the speeder down and he heard her take a steadying breath before she used his shoulders to climb down. Her knees seemed to shiver as she headed to the door and he actually felt bad for a minute. Dismounting with a sigh, he followed after her, rushing ahead and pulling the door open for her out of habit. Iza paused, looking up at him oddly. “Thanks,”

“Sure,” he gave a weak smile and waited for her to step inside before following. The place was packed—unsurprisingly—but there appeared to be at least one or two booths open. He stood behind her while they waited to be seated, allowing her to choose which side she wanted before taking up the bench on the opposite side. Holding his hand up to politely decline the menu FLO attempted to set in front of him, he felt a light kick against his ankle beneath the table and looked across the way to see the brunette giving him a look.

“Just get something, Skywalker,” she sighed and turned her attention to the menu she’d been given, lazily scrolling through it. “I’m buying.”

“I’ll just have whatever you end up having.”

“I hope you like nerfburgers,” Iza set the datapad down and propped her chin in her hand, looking around.

“I’ll eat anything that isn’t a ration bar at this point, honestly.” He wasn’t sure how to feel about the odd tension that had fallen over the table. Iza seemed keen to keep her eyes pointed anywhere that wasn’t directly at him. Faintly, he wondered if he’d actually upset her with his little stunt on the bike. Feeling something like guilt starting to pool in his chest, he awkwardly rubbed at the back of his neck and let out a quiet sigh. “Hey, look—I’m sorry,”

“Mm?” The older Jedi finally turned her attention to him and raised an eyebrow. “Sorry for what?”

“I didn’t mean to scare you like that,” he waved a hand and offered a light smile. “I guess I thought you’d think it was funny if I messed around like I used to.”

“Oh,” Iza laughed dryly and shrugged, her smile just as humorless. “Yeah—it’s fine. It’s just been a while. I probably should have expected it.”

“Are you mad?”

“Mad?” Her brows went up high before she shook her head. “No. A little shaken, but not mad. I’ve never gotten mad at you for your foolishness, Anakin.”

“You did once,” he reminded her, smile widening.

“You almost _killed_ yourself,” Iza frowned hard, straightening in her seat. “You scared me that night, Ani. I didn’t know what to do. Those scumsuckers just _left_ you on the street, too.”

“Is that why you told your master you were the one driving?” He tilted his head, eyeing her. Iza ducked her chin and fidgeted with her hands under the table. He could almost picture her pulling at her Padawan braid the way she used to. It was probably a good thing her hair was pulled up so she wouldn’t tug at it.

“I thought maybe they wouldn’t punish you so harshly if they thought it was my fault. I remember how Master Obi-Wan used to scold you when he’d bring you back from the races. I didn’t want him to be angry with you for getting hurt.” Drawing in a deep breath, she gave a light nod of her head. “I think he was just thankful you were alive, honestly.”

“Pitching yourself off the other bike was stupid, you know,” Anakin frowned. “You also could have gotten killed.”

“I had to make it believable, Anakin. If only one of us was injured, they would have known it was a lie.”

“I think they knew you were lying anyway.”

“Of course they knew,” scoffing, Iza turned her hands up. “Master Windu always knows when I’m lying to him and he’s not very happy with me when I do it. He took away my driving lessons and he sent me off to train with Depa for a month. I truly think he was angry with me. Master Obi-Wan certainly was.”

“Master Obi-Wan was worried about you,” Anakin tutted. “He was angry at _me_. He thought I’d corrupted you and lured you into my habit. I tried to tell him otherwise but you know how he is sometimes.”

“In any case,” the brunette brought her hands back up and folded them on top of the table. “You learned from your mistake. I think.”

“I did.”

“Good,” looking up when FLO wheeled up to their table, Iza smiled brightly and straightened again before reciting an order of two nerfburgers and a double basket of protato wedges for the two of them to share. She let Anakin choose his own beverage, settling for a soda for herself. When the droid had moved on, she sighed and propped her chin in her hand once again. Falling silent for a few moments, she glanced around before setting her sights on Anakin again, tilting her head lightly. “So—what’s got you so moody tonight, Skywalker?”

“Moody?” He looked taken aback. “What makes you think I’m moody?”

“Your attitude in the hangar, for starters,” she pursed her lips at him in amusement, snorting. “ _And_ you’re projecting. I could feel your agitation all the way in the barracks. I’m sure everyone could.”

Anakin frowned, working his jaw a little. He couldn’t tell her. Iza—like everyone else—was completely unaware of his relationship with Padme. He wasn’t even sure he could trust her with that sort of information. The whole _attachment_ thing was pretty serious, after all, and given that her master was one of the strictest he was willing to bet that _she_ held the same belief that the code needed to be followed to a T. He reminded himself of her fondness for Obi-Wan and debated whether that counted as an attachment or not. He decided that it did not. She valued his opinion and looked up to him, but Anakin did not think her feelings were like the ones he had for Padme. Vaguely, he wondered if she’d ever had feelings like that for _anyone_.

“I guess I’m just restless. It happens sometimes.” He shrugged carelessly, looking up at the viewscreen above the counter seating.

“Restless?”

“I don’t… know what to do with myself when I’m not on assignment sometimes.” He couldn’t look at her. He didn’t want to say that he’d been looking forward to being intimate with his wife and he’d been left frustrated because of some _event_ where contact with men was _not permitted_. “You don’t get antsy when you’re on leave?”

“I keep busy.” Iza was eyeing him. He could feel it. “I use the time to go over tactical plans with my squad and work on my Vaapad. I’m getting better. Sometimes I hang out at 79’s with the Stars. _That’s_ fun.”

“You go to the clone bar?” She had his attention again. Raising a brow at her, Anakin tipped his head curiously.

“It’s a _military_ bar, Anakin. The drinks are pretty much free when you’re a General.” Smiling wide, Iza poked the tip of her tongue between her teeth and gave a cheeky little bob of her head. “I never have to pay for anything though. A lot of _your_ boys like picking up my tab for me.”

Anakin let out a rush of breath that sounded like a scoff, shaking his head as he rolled his eyes. _Of course they did_. It wasn’t like he never heard the barrack talk. Several of the clones all had their favorite female Generals in terms of _eye candy_. It did not surprise him in the slightest that Iza was on the list with the way she ran around in the blacks and tabard getup. He was pretty sure she’d been advised to wear longer tunics beneath the garment for the sake of not being a _distraction_.

“Jealous, Ani?”

He choked on his next intake of breath, turning away to cough into his hand while giving her an incredulous look from the corner of his eye. Had she just suggested…? _No_. Hell no. Why would he ever be jealous of something like that? _He was **married**_. Even if he wasn’t, he didn’t think he’d be jealous over something so stupid as this. The two of them were friends at best. Maybe he’d had some semblance of _fondness_ for her when he was younger, but he certainly did not hold such feelings for her now. Laughing when the coughing died down, he shook his head again.

“Absolutely not.”

Something strange flickered across Iza’s face and the playful look in her eyes faded away. He could feel a tight clench in his chest and watched her turn her eyes to the tabletop as she drew in a deep breath.

“Wow, okay,” her laugh was weak and he suddenly felt like a huge jerk. “It was a joke, but thanks.”

“Iza, I didn’t mean—”

“Two nerfburgers and a double order of protato wedges,” FLO interrupted as she set their food down in front of them. Their beverages came next and he heard Iza murmur a soft _thanks_ before she was picking up her burger and taking a large bite. She wouldn’t look at him. He’d hurt her feelings.

“Iza—”

“Eat before it gets cold,” she gestured at the burger in front of him, absolutely refusing to look anywhere but at the puddle of grease left behind on her plate. “They taste terrible cold.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Whatever,” she shrugged and crammed the burger in her mouth again, chewing aggressively. That tightness in his chest got worse. “Just eat.”

Anakin didn’t know what to do. Sighing heavily, he picked up his burger and slowly began to eat. Neither of them spoke, but as time went on he felt the tightness starting to ease up. She seemed to be relaxing a little. He’d consider that a plus. He only looked up again when he noticed her reaching into the basket of protato wedges in the middle of the table, watching as she dipped one into the little cup of sauce that had come with them. Her green eyes flicked upward when she sensed him staring and she squinted lightly before popping the wedge into her mouth.

“I think I know what your problem is,” she muttered around the food.

“Oh?”

“I think you need to get _laid_ , Skywalker.” Iza waved her hand at him and frowned. “This attitude _reeks_ of that kind of frustration. Trust me— _I know_. I spend a lot of time with _frustrated_ men.”

The younger Jedi almost dropped what was left of his burger into his lap. He wasn’t sure if he was offended or just plain _scandalized_. In all the years he’d known her, he’d never known Iza to be so blunt about something like this. She often spoke her mind when she probably _shouldn’t_ , but he’d been sure that she had a little more modesty than this. After all, it was unbecoming of a Jedi to speak of such things so freely. It was probably improper for a _woman_ to speak like this as well. Maybe the whispers at the Temple were right; maybe she _was_ spending too much time with her clones. He suddenly had the horrible thought of just what sort of _time_ she was spending with them and had to shake that thought away before he trusted himself to speak.

“I… beg your pardon?”

“Oh come on,” she rolled her eyes, plucking another wedge from the basket. “It’s a natural thing, Anakin. We’re not supposed to have _relationships_. We can have sex.”

“Will you lower your voice?” He twisted in his seat to see whether or not anyone had heard her.

“Why? Are you embarrassed?” A smile twitched the corner of her lips and she sat up straighter. “You _have_ had sex before, right?”

“ _Iza_ ,” he could feel his cheeks heating. That really wasn’t any of _her_ business and he didn’t want to know anything about _her_ personal business either. “ _Stop_ ,”

The older Jedi grinned wide and snickered at him, shaking her head. An amused sigh escaped her and she was shoving another protato wedge into her mouth, looking pleased with herself for having shaken him up. Chewing in silence while he tried to collect himself, the brunette licked a bit of salt from her thumb and cast an unreadable look at him. Anakin wasn’t sure he trusted that look. He had a bad feeling it spelled _trouble_ for him.

“Tell you what,” she dug out a wedge and idly dipped it into the sauce cup again, holding it upright to watch the sticky substance roll down the surface. She looked him dead in the eye and licked the sauce from the wedge, humming. “Buy me a Sweet Milk Milkshake and I’ll take care of your problem for you.”

All of the air left Anakin’s lungs, leaving him dizzy and unable to think. He couldn’t believe she had the _audacity_ to offer such a thing. And so casually! His first instinct was to immediately reject her. He didn’t know—didn’t _care_ , really—if this was another joke of hers or not. He couldn’t fathom the idea of going to bed with this woman. He couldn’t fathom the idea of going to bed with anyone who wasn’t _Padme_.

“Don’t joke like that,” he said when he was finally able to form a coherent sentence. Reaching into the basket for one of the wedges, he shoved it into his mouth and turned to stare out of the transparisteel window so he could gather the rest of his wits. “ _Stars_ , Iza.”

“Hey, if you don’t want to, that’s completely fine.” Iza turned her hands up and went back to eating. “I’m not going to twist your arm if you’re not interested.”

 _That_ was the problem. The longer Anakin sat on this offer, the more appealing it became. It sickened him that he was even considering it. But it had been _months_ , and he didn’t know for certain that the message Padme left with Threepio was truthful. What sort of gathering did not allow the presence of _men?_ Did these women believe that they could protect themselves with a war waging around them? Anakin did not typically view women as soft, defenseless beings. He knew plenty who could certainly hold their own. But none of this made sense to him. It really messed with his anxiety to think about whether or not Padme might be out there somewhere in the universe spending time with a man who was not _him_. He did not know who this man was, but if he ever met him Anakin was sure he’d strangle him until his head popped like a balloon. Shifting his gaze to Iza, he watched her for a moment while she ate, unable to help chewing at his tongue when she’d lick sauce from her fingers or suck it from her bottom lip. She was not an unattractive girl. Far from it, really. Trailing his eyes from her face to what little of her frame was visible over the tabletop he was reminded of how soft she felt pressed against his back. _Force_ , and her thighs. He had no idea such strength could be found in a woman’s thighs.

Looking away again before she could sense his gaze, Anakin bounced his leg beneath the table and tapped his fingers against his arm. Was it worth it? It wasn’t like she could run to Padme and _tell_ her. Nobody would have to know at all. He could get some relief and be done with it. **_NO_**. He _loved_ Padme. It was vile of him to even consider this. He would just have to be patient and wait for his wife to return. Maybe he would get lucky and she would come back before he had to ship back out. Or maybe he’d have the same rotten luck as always and get stuck waiting for another two or three months and come back to find her gone again. Would he even be able to consider her his _wife_ by that point? Intimacy aside, if he could not even communicate with her regularly, was this even a proper relationship? He had nothing to compare it to, nobody he could ask. He just had to trust that this was how things were when two people lived such hectic lifestyles. But Iza was _right there_. She was _always_ there, come to think of it. They did not always see one another and they did not always get along, but she was definitely more convenient in terms of accessibility. _Hell’s bells_.

“You said a Sweet Milk Milkshake?”

“Hm?” Iza looked over at him questioningly, a brow popping up in surprise. She chewed what was in her mouth and swallowed, giving a slow nod. “Yeah, I did.”

Anakin prayed he wasn’t going to regret this. Bringing his blue eyes up from the tabletop, he managed to level them with hers and nodded towards where FLO was stationed up front.

“Go ahead and flag her down,” he took a deep breath and tried to let it out slowly, feeling his fingers go a bit numb. “I’ll buy you your milkshake.”

Iza seemed to hesitate for a moment and he wondered if she’d changed her mind. Honestly, that would be for the best. It would leave him with a clean conscience, at the very least. But then she was raising her hand and giving a light flick of her fingers and he heard the soft _whirr_ of FLO’s wheel coming up behind him.

“What can I get you, sweetie?” The droid asked, ocular sensors flickering in an almost gentle manner.

“Does Dex still serve the Sweet Milk Milkshakes?”

“They’re only available on special request,” FLO answered. “Is that what you want?”

“Please,” smiling, the brunette watched as FLO tapped in the order and heard her hum before she shifted to Anakin.

“Do you want one too, hon?”

“No, thank you,” Anakin answered dully, shaking his head.

“I’ll be back in a moment.”

When FLO was gone, Iza rested her elbows on the table and laced her fingers together, resting her chin on top of them. She seemed to study the younger Jedi for a long time until he looked up from the grease ridden plate in front of him and stared back at her.

“What?”

“You feel conflicted,” Iza steepled two of her fingers together and tapped them against her bottom lip. “Are you sure?”

“I wouldn’t have taken the offer if I wasn’t sure.” He shrugged. Even as he said it, he wasn’t sure he believed himself. His stomach was rolling lightly. He had to tell himself it was the food. He never felt right after eating here.

“Well,” sitting back, Iza let out a soft sigh. “If you change your mind, it’s all right. I’ll pay you back for the shake.”

“I’m not going to change my mind.”

“I’m just saying, Ani.”

“Can you…” he hesitated, looking back down at the table. “Can you not call me that?”

Iza stared at him, confused. A moment of silence passed and she nodded.

“Yeah, sure.” Looking up when FLO returned with her shake, she smiled again and thanked her, pulling the straw towards her mouth to take a long sip. Another bout of silence fell over the table, tense and awkward. Iza seemed content to simply sit there and sip her milkshake, occasionally eating a protato wedge while Anakin stewed in his confliction. When she’d nearly finished the shake and the basket of wedges, she gave him another little nudge under the table and pulled him out of the weird trance he’d fallen into. Blinking at her, Anakin grunted, watching as she smiled and played with the straw in her glass. “We should go to 79’s for a little while. I think you’d have fun.”

“I can’t drink, Iza. I have to drive.”

“Don’t tell me Master Obi-Wan never taught you how to suppress the effects of alcohol,” she gave a teasing grin and nudged him with her foot again. “Come on, it’ll help you relax.”

“I don’t know if I want to sit around and watch you get hit on by a bunch of clones, Iza,”

“We’re not going so I can be hit on by clones, Anakin,” rolling her eyes, Iza picked up the glass and tipped the rest of the contents down her throat. “I’m going with _you_. We’ll have a drink or two, maybe dance a little bit and then we can… do whatever.”

“I don’t really dance.”

“ _Anakin_ ,” the soft way she whined his name at him put an odd feeling in his belly. “When was the last time we had fun together?”

 _Stars_ , he couldn’t remember. They’d been Padawans, he knew that much. It had to be before he’d reconnected with Padme. They’d started to drift apart after the war started and he’d gotten married, hadn’t they? He’d kind of drifted away from a lot of the women he’d been friends with before he’d gotten married. It had felt like the proper thing to do.

“Okay,” he relented with a nod. “But the second I see anyone from Torrent try to make a move on you, we’re leaving.”

Iza’s face brightened with a cheeky, amused grin and she poked the tip of her tongue out between her teeth again. _Force_ , that was cute.

“ _Deal_.” She reached for the pouch at her belt for her chip card and he put a hand out to stop her.

“I’ve got it,” he insisted, moving to get to his feet. Taking a couple of stray credits from the pouch, he absently checked to make sure they were enough to make up a generous tip and dropped them on the table before pointing his thumb over his shoulder. “I’ll meet you outside.”

Nodding, the brunette got up from her seat and moved to brush past him. Anakin felt the muscles of his abdomen clench involuntarily when she dragged her fingers along his stomach as she walked by. Staring after her, he caught the flirty look she shot him over her shoulder and _swore_ she put a bit of sway into her step. His eyes fell on her hips, and then her backside and he felt his mouth go dry when he realized just how snug the body glove really was. _Force_ , he needed to get ahold of himself. Someone at a nearby table whistled sharply and he heard them mutter something obscene under their breath. Turning, he fixed his gaze on a grizzled looking man who appeared to be watching Iza about as closely as he had. Anakin felt his temper stir in his chest and he narrowed his eyes. He would not approach this man, but he _would_ give a wave of his hand and upset the steaming hot cup of coffee in front of him to send it toppling into the pervert’s lap. Satisfied by the pained holler that followed, he made his way up to the podium where FLO stood and paid their tab before heading outside. He found Iza already perched on the back of the speeder bike, giving him a funny look.

“What?” He asked, coming over to mount up and let her get situated.

“Nothing,” she shrugged, scooting forward. He swore she was sitting closer than she had been before. Once again he felt her hands slide along his chest and take anchor in the leather of his tabard, but it was the way she snuggled into his back and nestled her chin in the crook of his neck that made him feel especially strange. When she spoke, her soft voice and warm breath sent wicked chills down his back. “Don’t go so fast this time, okay?”

“Sure,” he nodded and started up the bike, kicking off and pulling out into the traffic at a more tolerable speed than before.

~*~*~*~

79’s was _loud_ and _crowded_. Anakin wasn’t entirely sure this was somewhere he wanted to be—at least, not at first. They’d been greeted by men from both of their squads who insisted on pouring drinks down their throats. He’d declined a few of them, taking others until he felt his head get a little fuzzy. Iza didn’t seem interested in turning down the drinks. With each shot of liquor she swallowed, she got a little louder and a little friendlier until she was dragging him out onto the dance floor. Anakin tried to insist that he would rather sit out and let her have this kind of fun. He wasn’t much of a dancer, after all. But she’d done that thing again where she’d rolled her eyes and acted exasperated before taking him by the hips and instructing him to follow her. By the time he got the hang of what she was trying to show him, he was far too interested in watching _her_. He did not know where she’d learned to move in such a way, but he was sure that if anyone from the Temple saw her like this, she would certainly receive a stern lecture about how a Jedi ought to behave in public. Several times, Anakin caught himself looking around to make sure there weren’t any other Jedi in the place that might cause problems for them. He wasn’t worried about the clones. Clones were pretty good at keeping secrets. But if one of their own caught sight of the little brunette moving her hips on him the way she was, they’d _both_ get an earful.

“You’re too _tall_ ,” her pouty complaint was half-hearted and pulled him completely out of his paranoid thoughts. Making a face, Anakin snorted and tilted his head at her.

“I’m sorry?” He didn’t know how to respond to that.

“My arms hurt,” she stuck her tongue out at him and playfully tugged the neck of his tunic. “Do you mind if I turn around? You can still hold me if you want.”

“I…” he had no idea what the hell she was talking about. “Sure?”

She made some kind of soft sound that was half drowned out by the music and dropped her arms from around his shoulders, turning so her back faced him. At first, Anakin wasn’t sure what she planned on doing. And then she was leaning back against his chest and taking his hands to encourage him to wind his arms around her waist. Her hips never stopped moving, he noticed, and once he’d anchored his arms where she wanted them he felt her settle back into him even more. _Oh_. Okay. There was no way he could ignore the soft press of her backside as she moved on him and he was certain she was doing it on purpose. At first, he tried putting a bit of space between them, shifting his hips back away from her to try and prevent the inevitable. It worked for about a minute before she’d twist her hips and graze against him again, eventually settling her weight back until he was exhaling harshly through his nose and pressing his lips together tightly. His body betrayed him before he could even think to try and stop it. He knew she could feel it, too. There was a moment when he noticed a pause in her movements and a tiny tilt of her head before she started dancing again.

“Hey Iza,” he swallowed hard and watched her tip her head back to look at him. “I think I’m going to take a breather.”

The brunette paused again, one of those funny looks crossing her face. She let go of his hands and nodded. Anakin couldn’t help noticing that she seemed disappointed. He tried offering her a smile before he pulled away from her to go find somewhere to cool off, but she didn’t return it. Dropping down into an unoccupied booth, he turned his attention back to watch her and found her looking a bit lost. That strange tightness filled his chest again as she fidgeted with her fingers and frowned at the floor before turning and walking off towards the bar. He tried to keep track of her in the crowd but she was so damn short that he lost her easily. Frowning, he wondered if he’d done something wrong. Honestly, he just hadn’t wanted to make her uncomfortable. They both had a good idea of where this night was headed, but that didn’t mean he had to make it seem like he was rubbing up on her because he was impatient. He’d definitely noticed that she’d been happy to dance on him in such an obscene manner but—again—that didn’t mean he had to take advantage of it. Pulled out of his thoughts by a figure blocking his view, Anakin looked up to find Iza in front of him. She held what appeared to be a bottle of water and another shot of some sort in her hands and smiled weakly before offering him the water.

“Thanks,” taking it, he didn’t immediately open it, too concerned with the drink in her hand. “Are you sure you should have more?”

“I’m fine,” she shrugged, knocking back the clear liquid with a grimace. “I do this a lot _and_ I’ve been pushing the buzz off. Give me five minutes and I’ll be as sober as I was when we left the base.”

“All right,” he watched as she took up a spot on the other side of the booth and used the end of her tabard to wipe the sweat from her face. He couldn’t help noticing she still looked a little put off. “You didn’t have to stop on account of me, you know.”

“Huh?” Looking over at him, she blinked and then waved a dismissive hand. “No, it’s fine. I should take a break too. The blacks aren’t the best thing to dance in.”

“Do you want some of this?” He held the water bottle out, still unopened, and frowned lightly when she declined it.

“I had one before I ordered the shot. Bartender knows me well enough to make me drink water if I’m ordering starshine shots.”

“What’s _starshine?_ ”

Iza tilted her head at him curiously for a moment before moving to kneel up in her seat and flag down one of the waitress droids. Waving her shot glass and holding up two fingers with a smile, she got an affirmative blink before the droid wandered off. Looking back at Anakin, she grinned.

“I can’t let you have more than one since you’re driving, but I think you’ll like this.”

“Is it that strong?” He watched the way she’d started wiggling in her seat like she was trying to fight off the urge to dance while sitting down. He wanted to tell her she could get up again if she wanted to, but had a feeling she’d just decline.

“It’s pretty potent. You might want to drink the water.” Gesturing, Iza looked out into the crowd again and continued swaying in her seat to the music. For a minute, Anakin just watched her. He didn’t know when her hair had come loose from the tight knot it’d been in all night, but it was starting to hang low at the back of her neck. Her temples were sweaty, too. A flush darkened her cheeks, just visible under the dizzying lights of the club, and her green eyes were bright and full of an exhilarated sort of sparkle. She was definitely having fun. He found that he was happy to see it. All of a sudden, her eyes lit up even more and she straightened in her seat as the waitress came back over with the shots. Iza dropped a couple of credits onto her tray—receiving a grateful buzz—and held up one of the shots to Anakin. “Take it fast and don’t worry about the burn. It’s supposed to do that.”

“Er—all right,” Anakin took the offered glass and gave a cautious sniff, almost wishing he hadn’t. It was hard to identify any sort of scent that wasn’t _alcohol_ right off the bat, and even the fumes made his nose burn. Looking back at her, he gave a wary sort of smile and tapped the edge of the glass against hers before knocking the shot back in one go. At first, he didn’t understand what the big deal was. It tasted a little citrusy and maybe just a _tiny_ bit on the spicy side. He started to give her a confused look when his gut and chest suddenly began to heat like they were on fire. Blowing out a hard breath, he settled a hand on his neck as the flaming sensation reached all the way up to his throat, coughing almost uncontrollably. _What in blazes was in this stuff?_ Better question—how the hell did Iza just _drink_ it like it was nothing? He was in the middle of trying to wheeze through the burning pain when he felt slender fingers slide beneath his jaw and the mouth of the water bottle press against his lips. He drank greedily, not caring at all if any of it spilled out of the sides of his mouth. The cool liquid seemed to ease the blistering sensation and he drank down the entire bottle before turning away to breathe again.

“I told you to drink this beforehand,” Iza’s voice was soft as she scolded him and he felt her dab at his face with something. “Water keeps it from burning extra hot like that.”

“What was _in_ that?” Anakin choked out when he could finally get fresh air into his lungs, looking up at her with watery eyes.

“We’re pretty sure they put starship fuel in it.” The brunette smirked faintly, reaching up to brush the hair off of his forehead. The gesture was obscenely intimate and it made him flinch. If she noticed, she didn’t act like it. “I’m sorry. I thought you’d enjoy it.”

“It doesn’t taste bad,” picking the glass up to peer into it at what few drops were left, Anakin still made a face. “But how can you handle the burn?”

“I reacted the same way as you my first time,” humming, Iza stepped away to slide back into the booth. “Ze thought it was funny to give me a shot without preparing me as a form of _initiation_. I don’t think he thought it was very funny when I vomited all over his boots.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t knock him out.”

“Catcher did that for me,” she snickered and breathed a soft sigh, still eyeing him. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, I think I’m good.” His whole body was _warm_ from head to toe, though. It was almost like he’d been submerged in a bacta tank without the stench of pineapples and the feeling of gel surrounding him. He definitely did not need any more alcohol after this if he was going to drive them _anywhere_. His eyes felt lazy as he looked around the bar, occasionally settling in to watch the clones as they chatted amongst themselves. The men seemed relaxed here. It was a nice change from the stiff, serious nature they kept to when on duty. It made him glad they had somewhere to go where they could just clown around without worrying about being reprimanded. He was pulled from his thoughts when he felt the bench cushion dipping slightly behind him and he twisted a little to see that Iza had crawled her way around the U-curve to his side. He gave a light grunt when she settled against his back, once again becoming fully aware of just how soft and warm she was. He relaxed into her chest without prompt, shutting his eyes some when she began nuzzling at the side of his head. There was still a very big part of him that knew he ought to object to this. He still had plenty of time to stop it before anything happened, after all. That thought was interrupted as the brunette shifted behind him and one of her legs came sliding up against his side. Reflexively, Anakin curled his arm around it to help keep it in place, a faint smile tugging at his lips as Iza’s hands slid over his shoulders and down his chest. The move felt strangely _possessive_. Like she was drawing him into her arms purposely to let everyone else know he was not to be touched. It was an action he did not expect to enjoy so much.

“Anakin,”

He picked his head up slowly, tilting it to look at her. He didn’t know what to make of the expression on her face. She seemed _contemplative_ , if not a little hesitant. He waited to see if she was going to say anything else and let out a quiet noise as she combed her fingers through his hair. Again, it felt so strangely intimate for her to do that. As if letting her be this close wasn’t _intimate_ enough already. But the more she played with his hair, the more he relaxed into her until he was sure he was starting to put at least half of his full body weight against her chest. If Iza had a problem with it, she didn’t say so. Turning his attention back to the rest of the bar, the younger Jedi felt her shift behind him before the soft press of lips met the side of his neck and made him tense. She paused, waited. After a moment or two, Anakin tipped his head lightly for her. _To hell with it_. Nobody in here knew a damn thing anyway. If they saw him with Iza, what were they going to say? And who were they going to say it to? These clones knew how to mind their own business and they certainly didn’t care about _Jedi affairs_. He might feel differently if they’d gone to Moshi or The Outlander. But they hadn’t. And if he was going to end up in bed with her by the end of the night anyway, what harm did a little pre-intimacy affection do?

His eyes slid shut the rest of the way as Iza resumed the light kisses and Anakin found himself tilting his head further into the gentle scratch of her nails against his scalp with a low groan. The hand he used to help hold her leg in place at his side idly began trailing along the side of her thigh and he heard her hum softly in his ear. The sound sent a shiver down his back and made him drop his head against her shoulder. He really wanted to blame the alcohol. She’d said the starshine was _potent_ , after all. But a single shot would not have him feeling this sort of warmth or fuzziness. This was all _Iza_ and her attention. She seemed quite keen to give it, too. Peppering kisses all over his neck and behind his ear while playing with his hair until he felt like he was melting into her, the brunette had also taken to rubbing her free hand over his chest in slow passes that felt more like a pawing motion than anything. Anakin was sure she was trying to convey her desire to leave without wanting to vocalize it or appear _needy_.

“It’s warm in here,” _Force_ , he wished she wouldn’t breathe in his ear like that. “Let’s go out back.”

“I think I need a minute,” he chuckled back, opening his eyes to look at her. She didn’t look bothered. She just nodded and kissed the spot behind his ear before making an attempt to untangle herself from him. He quietly mourned the loss of her warmth as he watched her climb onto the table and crawl over it, holding a hand out to her just in case she needed it as she stepped down. Iza took it as an invitation to help pull him out of his seat instead. Anakin didn’t object. It took a bit of effort on his part to stand, but once he was steady enough he was more than happy to let her lead him around the bar. They squeezed through the crowd carefully, avoiding eye contact with anyone from their respective squads, and ducked out into the alley where they were greeted by a blast of cool night air. Anakin thought for sure he’d sober up from all of her attention once he was out of the stuffy building, but that was not the case. Instead, he found himself turning to her before she had the chance to say anything to him. He wasn’t sure what he was doing, what was happening to his restraint. He only knew he wanted her close to him again. He caught her by the hips and pulled her close, watching the way her eyes widened in the dim yellow light from the overhead lamp.

“Hi,” her tone was so shy as she rested her hands against his chest and settled into him, looking surprised that he’d made such a move. He supposed he couldn’t blame her. He’d been extremely hesitant for the majority of the evening.

“Hi,” Anakin could not help noticing that she was, indeed, _very pretty_. Her sweet face and glittery eyes stirred up something he’d buried quite deep within himself, bringing it to the surface and making a smile spread across his lips as he gazed down at her. He remembered this feeling now. Looking at her and wondering if she’d hung the stars because she wore them in her eyes. He’d always enjoyed the closeness they’d shared when they snuck out of the Temple and rode around on stolen speeder bikes. Iza hated getting into airspeeders with him, so he saved that for the races. And the few times they’d been on assignments together as Padawans, they took care of one another, watched each other’s backs. They’d been _good_ friends, he thought. He had kind of messed that up by pulling away from her, hadn’t he? Maybe he could make up for it. He didn’t know if it would be sufficient, but it didn’t hurt to try. His eyes followed the movement of one of her hands as she ran her fingers along his chest, his smile widening a fraction.

“What’s that look for, Skywalker?” Iza raised a brow at him, leaning further into his frame.

“No reason,” he shook his head and lifted a hand to brush a stray bit of hair off her face, bringing it back to lightly swipe a crooked finger over her cheek. _Soft_. She was just so damn _soft_. It was different to Padme’s softness, too. Iza was not soft from things like skin lotions and oils and being born to a planet with a healthy atmosphere. As far as he knew, she used the same military issue soap the rest of them had been using as of late—which was _murder_ on the skin as far as he was concerned—and she’d been born _here_ , on Coruscant. There was just a plushness to her that was _different_. He could not explain it. He found he did not want to. He liked that she was not the same as Padme. It would make this much easier on his heart not to be reminded of his wife.

“You’re too tall,” there was that little pout again. _Man_ , it burned his belly almost as much as that stupid shot had. When she followed it up by standing on her toes and grazing her lips against his chin, he damn near growled at her.

“Maybe you’re just _short_ ,” Anakin teased, letting his fingertip trail along her jaw as he watched her make another attempt to kiss him. This time, he tipped his head back so she couldn’t reach at all, snickering when she whined at him. Her persistence was adorable, really. He liked that she didn’t immediately give up and stomp her foot just because he was being playful. That was a nice change. His eyes went wide when he felt fingers sliding around the back of his neck, the strong tug that followed surprising him enough to make him draw in a sharp breath through his nose as he was brought down to her eye level. _Oh— **stars**_.

“Don’t be mean,” those slender fingers slipped deep into the hair at the back of his head, nails dragging against his scalp in a manner that nearly had him sagging into her with a groan. What the hell was this? What sort of female trickery nonsense was she using to make him feel like he was falling apart like this? He had half a mind to ask her when she leaned in and lightly nudged the end of her nose against his cheek, settling her forehead to his and giving a gentle push. It was a strange gesture, but not unwelcome. “Anakin?”

“Hm?” He couldn’t stop staring at the little gold flecks in her eyes. He swore there were more of them than there’d been the last time he’d been this close to her. Then again, the last time he’d been this close, he’d been badly concussed.

“Are you okay to drive?”

“I think so,” his head was a little fuzzy still but he was sure it had nothing to do with the alcohol.

“Let’s go back to base,” Iza slid her arms around his shoulders and pressed her forehead more firmly into his. “I don’t want to do this back here.”

“Okay,” he nodded as much as he was able to, skimming his hands up and down along her back. Giving her a light smile, he nudged his head forward affectionately in the same manner she had. Neither of them seemed to want to break away just yet and that was fine with him. It was not _fine_ for his back or his neck, but he’d put up with the slight ache for a few more minutes until Iza finally let out a sigh and drew back from him. Straightening while the brunette ran her fingers down over his chest again, Anakin smirked faintly when she hooked them in his belt and gave a tug to prompt him into following her out of the alley. He needed no goading. His mind was set on what he wanted and as long as she was on the same page, he was going to get it. Tailing after her to where he’d parked the speeder, he mounted up first and offered a hand to help her onto the back. This time, Iza nestled up against his back and slid her hands _beneath_ his tabard, one of them finding a home under the panel of his outer robe while the other settled on his abdomen. She tucked her legs snugly against his sides and nuzzled her face into the side of his neck, letting out one of her quiet little noises and making him smile. “Do you want me to drive slow again?”

“You don’t have to,” her lips brushed the edge of his ear and he couldn’t suppress the shiver that followed. “Just try not to kill us, okay?”

“You got it, sweetness,”


	2. This is What I Crave

Anakin was lucky he’d been able to concentrate at all during the ride back to base. It had been difficult to focus with the way Iza kept rubbing at his stomach and occasionally kissing along the back of his neck, but he didn’t have any intention of asking her to stop. Thankfully, the trip was not terribly long and the route he’d taken wasn’t _too_ backed with traffic. The speeder bike made it much easier to cut through it, anyway. When they’d finally touched back down on the tarmac, he almost frowned when she pulled her hands away from him, noting that she hadn’t lifted away from his back yet.

“Our options are a little limited,” she murmured as he guided the speeder back into the hangar. “But I bet we could sneak into one of the starships without a problem.”

“I thought you had private quarters here?” That was the rumor, anyway.

“Private quarters?” Iza laughed and took the hand he offered, dismounting with a snort. “You mean my bed in the barracks? It’s hardly _private_. It’s just convenient.”

“You… sleep in the barracks?” He didn’t know why the idea of that irked him. Climbing off of the speeder bike, he frowned deeply as he eyed her. “And they _allow_ it?”

“It’s my squad, Anakin,” the brunette shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. “It’s no different than sleeping on a cruiser with them.”

“Jedi Generals have their own private quarters on the cruisers.”

“ _Most_ of them do,” she corrected, giving him a funny look. “Some of us don’t feel like we should be handed extra luxuries. If I’m going to fight beside these men, I want to be allowed to live like them. I keep to the Code the way that I’m supposed to, but I don’t allow my status as a Jedi to grant me special privileges.”

“You sound like Master Plo Koon.”

“I admit that he has influenced my ideals a little,” she nodded lightly. “But I dislike the idea that we’re supposed to treat these men like expendables. They’re _living beings_ , Anakin.”

“I’m aware, Iza,” it was strange how he could feel her getting frustrated. Faintly, he wondered if she was annoyed with _him_.

“And anyway, what does it matter if I stay in the barracks? It’s usually only so I don’t have to rush from the Temple or trouble anyone to come and fetch me.”

“I didn’t say anything. I just didn’t know they allowed—”

“A _woman_ to spend the night in the clone barracks?” Iza shot him a look and snorted again, folding her arms across her chest. “You’d be surprised at the things that go on in there, Ani.”

He wanted to remind her not to call him that again, but figured it wasn’t a good idea. He already felt like he was dampening the mood with this conversation as it was. He didn’t want to ruin it further.

“I think this one’s grounded for repairs,” the brunette was already moving away from him to inspect one of the smaller starships and Anakin frowned a little as he followed after her.

“I wasn’t trying to imply anything, Iza,”

“What?” She turned, brows furrowed. When his words sank in, she gave a shake of her head and waved her hand. “I don’t care even if you were. You wouldn’t be the first. Half the Temple thinks I’m bedding my squad. _I’m not_ , for the record.”

“It… it’s not my business even if you were.” Yet he still felt some kind of _relief_ having this knowledge bestowed upon him. Watching her try to open the door to the starship only to find it locked up tight, he cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. “There’s always the Twilight.”

She paused a minute and leaned up against the ship she’d been trying to break into, another one of those weird looks crossing her face. He hated how hard it was to read her when she did that. Even reaching into the Force produced mixed results. After a minute or so, she looked up at him and tilted her head with a frown.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Anakin?” He couldn’t tell if she was asking because she thought he’d changed his mind or if maybe _she’d_ changed hers. Eyeing her, he tried not to make it obvious that he was actually thinking about the question now. His body wanted _very much_ to go through with this. He kept thinking about how she felt pressed up against him and how nice she smelled and how the sweet little sounds she made put such _fire_ in his belly. But as his eyes settled on her face and reminded him that she was not Padme, guilt began pooling in and doused that fire. He felt like he’d already crossed a line with the small gestures of affection that they’d shared. He had not yet kissed her or put his hands where he should not. _There was still time_. He could put an end to this and walk away knowing he had not done wrong by his wife. But would that be fair to _Iza?_ She’d seemed so very eager to be close to him in general, which confused him greatly. It almost felt like he’d be taunting her if he walked away from her now, and that seemed like a cruel thing to do. Besides, he’d _really_ be lying to himself if he said he did not want to follow through with this. He was going to feel guilty one way or the other, he reasoned. He might as well make the best of it.

“I’m sure,” he nodded, raising a brow. “Are you?”

Something in her eyes changed. A light softness crept in and gave her face a look of longing that he recognized immediately. It just looked so _foreign_ for it to be aimed in _his_ direction and not his master’s. She blinked and that look was gone, replaced by a raised eyebrow and an expression that asked if he was being serious with his question. He watched the way she pushed off of the side of the ship with her shoulders, moving so fluidly he wondered if she’d been aided by the Force. Anakin did not take his eyes off of her as she came closer, following each of her steps until her boots came to a stop just in front of his. Her hand came up, fingers threading into his hair. He knew what she was going to do before she did it, but he still allowed her to pull him down to her height. His hands found her hips again and slid further to her lower back to urge her closer. Iza pressed up flush against his chest and tipped her head up to graze her mouth against the curve of his chin, slowly rising on her toes as she moved up higher along his jaw. He couldn’t stand it. Her teasing little kisses were burning his skin and all he wanted was to grab her pretty face and kiss her properly. It wouldn’t end his torment, but it would free him from the back and forth dilemma of whether or not this was a good idea.

“Where’s your ship?” She’d pulled back to look at him briefly, leaning up again to give a gentle nibble to the end of his chin. The action sent another one of those weird shivers down his back and he gripped the material of her tabard in his hands, twisting it lightly.

“Down at the end,” it would be so easy just to push her up against the side of the starship and kiss her. The longer he stared at her mouth, the harder the urge became to ignore. “I’m sure you’ve seen the Twilight before,”

“That clunky freighter?” Iza teased, running her nails down the back of his neck. “Yeah—I’ve seen it.”

“It’s not _clunky_ ,”

“ _Anakin_ ,” she traced a fingertip under his chin and leaned into him further, chasing off any more potential grumbling. As he gazed down at her, he let out a low noise and stooped to scoop her off her feet, causing her to shout in surprise. “ _Anakin!_ ”

He said nothing as he carried her across the floor of the hangar, eyes flicking this way and that to check for potential eavesdroppers. This hangar was rarely completely empty, but the majority of the clones seemed to be _outside_ —which was fine with him. The few that were milling about didn’t seem interested in the two Jedi. _Good_. He hoped it stayed that way. His thoughts did not stay focused on these men for long. Iza had put her mouth on his neck again, only this time she’d gotten her teeth and the tip of her tongue involved. The gentle suction of her lips against his skin as she began leaving a mark just above where the collar of his tunic sat almost had him running for the Twilight. It didn’t help when she sighed in his ear and murmured something he didn’t understand. Mando’a again, probably. He’d picked up bits and pieces of it from the clones, but the brunette had become damn near fluent in it from all the time she spent with her squad. He had to admit—it turned him on something fierce to hear it even if he couldn’t understand it. When they’d finally reached the ship, he lowered the loading ramp, not bothering to wait for it to drop completely before he was heading inside and closing it again. Setting Iza on her feet, he turned to look at her for half a second and then took her by the hand to drag her up front to the cockpit. He dropped into one of the seats, hauling her into his lap and bringing his hands up to cup her face.

“You’re in a hurry,” she teased, threading her fingers between his before he had the chance to touch her. Anakin almost growled in frustration, staring up at her while she situated herself to get more comfortable. Iza only smiled at him and leaned into his chest, bowing her head like she was going to kiss him. She dodged him when he tipped his head up, giggling and taunting him a few more times until he squeezed her fingers and frowned. Tutting, she shifted closer and shook her hands free to lightly stroke her fingertips against the sides of his neck. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m just playing with you.”

“Let me kiss you,” he hadn’t meant for it to sound like a demand. He just couldn’t stand waiting anymore.

“Where?”

He blinked, stunned.

“What?” That wasn’t really what he’d expected to come out of her mouth.

“Where do you want to kiss me, Anakin?” Iza pressed up on him again, fingers sliding into his hair. The look she gave him made something low in his pelvis throb. When he didn’t give an answer right away, that sly little smile of hers returned and she leaned back. He watched her work her belt off and set it in the second seat. The sash and tabard followed it and then she was working her fingers along the pressure seal at the front of the body glove, tugging the neck to part the fabric all the way to the center of her chest. His eyes fell to the cleavage that had been bared to his gaze and he spent a few moments just admiring the sight before looking back up at her. He leaned into the touch of her fingers when they slid beneath his chin and rubbed along his jaw. The shift of her weight on his lap pulled a low groan out of him and she smiled wider. “Do you want me to ask again?”

 _Yeah_. He did. He wasn’t used to things like that and he kind of liked it. Giving a quick nod of his head, he settled his hands on her hips and followed her movements when she leaned into him again.

“Where do you want to kiss me, Anakin?”

He’d already decided before she even asked. Skimming his palms up her back, he brought her in closer until his lips brushed her neck. He started with light pecks that gradually turned into firmer, nibbling kisses that he scattered across her throat and over her collarbones. Tugging the material of her blacks out of the way, he found the dip between her shoulder and neck and grazed his teeth across the skin before settling in to mark it up. He could feel her breathing picking up as it gusted in quick puffs against his ear. One of her hands made a home in his hair, fingers occasionally tightening around the strands. He moved lower, nipping his way down between her breasts as he blindly pulled the top half of the body glove open the rest of the way.

“ _Anakin_ ,” his name was hardly more than a gasp when his slipped his fingers beneath the fabric and traced them up her sides, tentatively brushing his thumbs against the undersides of her breasts. _So damn **soft**_. He was not shy about the way he palmed them and gave each a tentative squeeze, looking up at her when he lightly pushed them together and nuzzled his face between them. This earned him a quick tug to his hair that sent a sharp sensation straight to the heavy heat in his pelvis. He growled, the sound low and deep and appreciative. A brow popped up high on Iza’s forehead and she tilted her head a little. “You like that?”

He nodded, shifting the position of his hands to tease his fingertips over her nipples. The second tug to his hair was sharper than the last and he shut his eyes, turning his head to mouth at one of the soft mounds of flesh in his hands. He felt her shifting around and almost whined in disapproval when her fingers left his hair. Moving his mouth further along her skin, he parted his lips and slowly skimmed his tongue over the tight peak of her nipple. Her whimper caused the air to rush out of his lungs. He needed more of that sound. Closing his mouth over the sweet little tip, he sucked in slow pulls and was rewarded with more of the needy whimpering _and_ both of her hands tunneling into his hair. He found that the harder he sucked, the more she pulled, and if he used his teeth it made her shiver and squirm in his lap. Turning his head to give the other breast the same attention, he glanced at her briefly and flashed a quick smile as he flicked the tip of his tongue over her sensitive nipple. The way she pulled at his hair made him buck his hips. He couldn’t help it. And when she started wriggling on him again, he found he couldn’t take it anymore. Pulling back from her chest, he reached up and curled his hands around the back of her head to bring her down and crush her lips beneath his.

 _Stars_. He didn’t think he’d ever been so desperate to kiss someone before. Well— _maybe_. But this felt like a different kind of desperation. He felt almost hungry for her and it didn’t seem to matter how deeply he swept his tongue into her mouth or how gently he tugged at her bottom lip with his teeth, he couldn’t get enough. Iza seemed just as bad off, breathing in harsh pants in between the wicked way she sucked at his tongue and groaned into his mouth. He felt her pawing at his chest, tugging at the layers of clothing he still wore. She was murmuring against his lips, quietly pleading with him to take some of it off. He wanted to. It was getting quite hot with all of it on and he wanted to know what her skin felt like against his. But _hell_ , he also didn’t want to stop kissing her just yet.

“Anakin,” _fuck_ —the way she said his name was really starting to grow on him. “Please?”

He nodded, planting smaller, sloppier kisses to her lips to try and keep as much of her on his tongue as he could before he had to pull back. He heard her giggling as she leaned away from him and gave a small shout when she slid off of his lap. Staring at her, he wondered when she’d shrugged the top half of the body glove off. As she stepped between his knees and started to undo his belt for him, he decided he didn’t care.

“Take it _off_ , Anakin,” the soft demand in her voice had him rising to his feet. He let her relieve him of the belt, watching her set it beside hers, and began stripping off the layers. He’d gotten down to his under tunic when he felt the burning touch of her fingers sliding beneath the material, pushing it up his torso just enough to allow her to kiss at his sternum. He almost ripped the damn thing as he whipped it off the rest of the way, a quiet noise rumbling in his chest as Iza continued pressing soft kisses over his skin. She hooked her fingers in the waist of his trousers and began backing up, pulling him out of the cockpit and into the hallway that led to the crew quarters. He followed without question, keeping his eyes focused on hers until he was suddenly being shoved back onto one of the cots. Letting out a short laugh, he raised an eyebrow at her as she climbed over him and straddled his waist.

“You like being in charge, don’t you?” He slid his hands along her thighs, settling them on her waist.

“Sometimes,” Iza drew her bottom lip between her teeth briefly, running her fingertips along the defined lines of his abs with a tiny shrug. “Does it bother you?”

“ _Not at all_.” He couldn’t recall the last time Padme had bossed him around. Maybe during the earlier days of the relationship when they had a little more time for such playfulness. Nowadays it was mostly rushed meetups—which weren’t the worst thing. He liked the excitement of possibly getting caught in her office. But there was little time for a lot of things these days, which was no fault of his wife’s. Schedules were a pain and he knew that. He really had to stop thinking about her. He was going to end up ruining the mood for himself if he let the thought of her sink too deep into his brain.

“What else do you like, Anakin?” The brunette leaned over and nipped the center of his chest, the loose bits of her hair falling forward to tickle his skin.

“Why don’t you tell me something _you_ like, sweetness?” He countered, watching her pick her head up to look at him curiously.

“You haven’t called me that in years,” she murmured.

“I’m sorry.” Anakin didn’t know what else to say. “I’ll stop if you want.”

“No. Don’t.” The smile that she gave was bashful in nature and she ducked her chin for half a second before looking at him again. “I like it.”

“That’s not what I had in mind when I asked that question.” He teased, grinning slowly.

“ _Hah hah_ ,” sticking her tongue out at him, Iza straightened and pursed her lips in thought. After a few minutes, she let out a quiet laugh and turned a hand up. “I… don’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever been asked before.”

“What if I kiss you again?”

“I… sure?”

Sitting up, Anakin cupped the side of her face and kissed her deeply, winding his arm around her before quickly rolling her beneath him. He chuckled at the way she gasped and stared up at him when he pulled back, saying nothing when he dipped his head and began pressing kisses to her chest again. He smiled when she pushed her fingers into his hair, humming lightly as he grazed his mouth over each of her nipples and moved even lower. Anakin felt the way her belly swelled when she took a sharp breath, taking the time to trail his lips over the surface and nip each deep indent of her waist. His fingers found where she’d left the body glove hanging low on her hips and started peeling it down further, urging her to lift up so he could pull it all the way down. Grumbling when he realized she still had her boots on, he tugged each of them off and tossed them carelessly aside, the body glove following once he’d slid it off completely. He almost snickered when she jumped at the press of his mouth against the top of one of her thighs, lifting his blue eyes up to meet hers. He was a little surprised to see her staring back at him with her knuckles stuffed in her mouth and an unsure look in her eye.

“What’s wrong?” He smoothed a hand along her leg, resting his cheek on her knee.

“What are you doing?”

“Kissing you.” He shrugged as though the answer should’ve been obvious. She bit down on her lip again, appearing to frown for a few moments before she nodded.

“Okay.”

Humming thoughtfully, Anakin resumed the light kisses against her skin, noting that she seemed to tense the higher he moved up on her thigh. He switched to the other one periodically, daring to use the edges of his teeth just to see how she’d react. The first little pass made her give one of those tiny whimpers and she jerked her legs like she was going to pull them away. She didn’t, thankfully. Working his way back up to her hips, he felt a heavy gust of breath fan out across his face and looked up to see her staring up at the ceiling. Curious, the younger Jedi bowed his head and gave a kiss to the spot below Iza’s navel. She squirmed under the touch and let out a much louder whimper, squeezing her thighs together. He kept his grin to himself, nuzzling at her belly before bringing his kisses further down her pelvis, carefully easing a hand between her knees to coax her into parting them. It took a moment but Iza eventually relented, allowing him to maneuver between them and brush his lips along the inside of one of her thighs.

“ _Anakin!_ ”

“Shhh, sweetness,” he lifted his head with a chuckle and put a finger to his lips. “Not so loud. There _are_ still people in this hangar.”

Iza looked like the last thing she cared about was being heard by a few clones. She stared down at him with her lips pressed together tightly and her chest rising and falling rapidly. Giving her a gentle smile and another quiet chuckle, Anakin tentatively went back to kissing at her thighs again, groaning to himself when he felt the muscles tensing beneath the supple skin. With one last quick look up at her, he bowed his head and pressed a kiss to the heat between her thighs, grunting when she damn near snapped her legs shut against the sides of his head. Gently prying them apart again, he didn’t bother giving her a look or making a comment. Instead, he simply dragged the flat of his tongue against her and groaned at the way she pulled his hair and bucked her hips. Well, there was no question that she’d been enjoying herself thus far. She was so damn slick and sweet on his tongue and she made such pretty sounds for him as he pushed her legs up and pressed closer. He was slow and methodical, paying extra attention to the spots that made her breath hitch and her legs shake. He could hear her cussing above him and stole a glance to find she’d draped her arm over her face and was breathing even harder than before. _Good_. Her sudden shout when he began to lightly suck at the sensitive little nub at the top of her sex made him grin inwardly, but he only gave her a pointed look when he picked his head up again.

“Iza, _shhh_ ,”

“ _Nar’sheb_.” She muttered back, twisting her hips with a whine. He didn’t know what that meant but he was pretty sure it wasn’t nice. Tutting, he shook his head at her and gave a slow, teasing lick. The heavy moan she let out in return made his dick ache. He really, _really_ wanted more of _that_ sound. Repeating the move, he brought a hand up and lightly brushed his fingers against her slick flesh before slowly easing one inside of her. He heard a thump and looked up to see she’d smacked her free hand against the cot and was gripping the blanket, pulling at it to stuff the corner into her mouth. He added a second finger and she arched up from the thin mattress, growling around the fabric. Anakin watched her closely as he began to pump his fingers, experimenting with different depths and paces until the brunette was writhing and kicking her feet lightly in the air. He could feel her tightening around the digits. She had to be close. Lowering his head, he resumed the slow passes of his tongue and lightly curled his fingers. Without much warning, Iza dropped her hand from his hair and snatched the blanket instead, tensing from head to toe as she squeezed her legs together and whimpered frantically around the fabric in her mouth. She stilled almost completely— _shivered_ —and exhaled harshly through her nose with a growling moan. Anakin didn’t stop, at least not until she started grabbing for his shoulder and giving little pushes while her whole body trembled.

Backing off, he withdrew his fingers to suck them clean and let her lower her legs to the bed. For a moment, he simply watched as she tried to catch her breath. And then he lowered his head and started peppering affectionate kisses across her shivering belly again.

“ _Anakin_ ,” her fingers pushed through his hair, tugged it, and dragged down the back of his neck. “ _Fuck_ ,”

“I didn’t know you knew that word,” he teased, working his way back up her body before settling beside her on the cot. Smiling when she turned to look at him with glassy, dilated eyes, Anakin reached out and brushed his knuckles over her flushed cheek and hummed quietly. “I think I found something you like.”

“You’re so smug,” she scoffed breathlessly, shaking her head. He only smiled wider and leaned over her, silently asking if it he was permitted to kiss her. Iza’s response was to grasp the sides of his head and pull him down for a rough kiss that had him groaning and moving over her. Her fingers slid down over his chest and Anakin felt his stomach shudder the lower they traveled. He was unable to keep from nudging his hips forward when one of her palms began rubbing his cock through his trousers and he let out a heavy rush of breath into her mouth when she squeezed him. _Dizzy_. She was making him dizzy as she felt him up and teased him with her touch. It got worse when the brunette eased that hand beneath the fabric and traced a single fingertip along the length of him, causing a whimpering moan to rise up in his throat. She took advantage of his sudden dumbstruck state, pushing him off of her and urging him onto his back. Anakin was willing to do whatever the hell she wanted as long as she didn’t stop touching him. His hips jumped when she brushed the pad of her thumb against that stupidly sensitive spot below the head and he cussed, clenching his teeth. Above him, he could hear her snickering playfully. “Is that where you like it, Anakin? _Right here?_ ”

She press-rubbed in slow circles and he swore he saw stars swimming in front of his eyes. It took a minute for him to realize the helpless sound he heard had come from his own throat and Anakin had to reach down and cover her hand with his.

“ _Easy_ , sweetness,” he breathed, blinking to try and get his vision back. He heard her tut and felt her hair brush against his cheeks before her lips touched his forehead. Thankfully, she went back to simply stroking her fingers along his length. That was torturous all on its own, but at least he didn’t feel like he was going to pass out.

“I’m sorry, _cyar’ika_ ,” she cooed, giving gentle squeezes here and there. “Is that better?”

“Uh huh,” he didn’t know what that word meant either, but it sounded nicer than the other one. He heard her hum in his ear and then she was kissing down the side of his face. He tilted his head for her, groaning quietly when she started to leave another mark on his skin. He didn’t know what he was going to say about these little love bites if anyone saw them. He supposed he was going to just have to wear one of the more conservative tunics for a little while. _Whatever_. It was worth it.

“Anakin,” her teeth grazed his earlobe, tugged it.

“Hm?” Turning, he opened his eyes lazily to look at her. Iza gazed back at him with her bottom lip caught between her teeth. She gave his dick another good squeeze and pouted. He almost laughed. _Honestly_. What a way to ask. Leaning over, he pressed a soft kiss to her lips, allowing her to lure him into something deeper that had them both sighing into each other’s mouths. Nodding when they broke away, he started to sit up when she pushed her hand against his chest, making him raise an eyebrow. _Oh_ —okay. “So you’re still in charge, then?”

“Were _you_ ever in charge?” She taunted, poking her tongue out at him.

“Evidently not,” he watched her while she sat up, momentarily mourning the loss of her touch when she withdrew her hand from his trousers to ease them off of his hips. He heard her huff and mutter something about his boots before she started yanking them off. The heavy sound of them hitting the floor was followed by the quick tug of fabric down his legs and then she was crawling up his form. As he looked up at her, he gestured to her hair, which had continued to come loose over the course of the evening. “Take it down,”

“Why?” She looked confused. “It’ll just get in the way.”

“Oh, come on,” he chuckled and raised an eyebrow. “You can play with mine but I can’t play with yours?”

“All right,” Iza shrugged and reached up to pull the rest of the pins from her hair, dropping them to the floor. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Anakin watched, astonished, as she unraveled it and shook it out. _Hell’s bells_. The ends of her wavy brown hair just barely brushed the tops of her hips, framing her face and falling over her shoulders to conceal the swell of her tits. He couldn’t remember how long her hair had been the last time he’d seen it down, but it certainly hadn’t been _this_ long. His brain did something funny, then. For a moment, he pictured Padme settled atop him, giving him an unsure look with her long hair cascading down her shoulders. He had to shake the image out of his head, grunting as he did so.

“What’s wrong?” Iza’s voice shook the last bits of the vision out of his mind.

“Nothing,” he smiled and reached to wind a lock of her hair around one of the leather-clad fingers of his mechno hand. Rubbing his thumb over it, he studied her and felt something odd pooling in his chest. “You’re beautiful,”

“ _Shut up_ ,” Iza gave a startled expression and looked away from him, hiding behind the curtain of hair that fell across her face.

“Iza,” Anakin sat up as much as he could, palming her cheek to turn her attention towards him again. “ _You are_ ,”

“Anakin, stop it,” she wouldn’t look at him. He felt her confusion swirling in the Force and frowned. Suddenly, he wondered if she’d expected him to have a different opinion on her appearance. And then he wondered if someone else had said something to make her think that maybe she _wasn’t_ attractive. If that was the case, he wanted to find that person and give them a nice, firm talking to. “Are we going to do this or not?”

Anakin didn’t like her sudden curtness. It felt wildly out of place for the behavior she’d been displaying not five minutes ago.

“Sweetness,” he tried to get her to look at him but she refused. “Iza, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” she shook her head and stared down at the blanket.

“Hey,” his other hand came up so he could cradle her face in both of his palms, _finally_ managing to get her to turn her eyes to him. She wore the expression of a woman who didn’t quite trust what might come out of his mouth next. He liked this even less than her bitter tone. Leaning in, he settled his forehead against hers and stroked his thumbs over the apples of her cheeks, breathing a quiet sigh. “I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable.”

“I’m not uncomfortable,” she rested her fingers against his wrists, shutting her eyes. “I just don’t know how to respond to something like that.”

He supposed he could relate. Anakin never knew how to respond when someone complimented him on his appearance. He tended to get kind of flustered and just go silent. It had been instilled in them to be modest about their appearances, hadn’t it? _Sheesh_. Sometimes he couldn’t help questioning the things he’d been taught at the Temple. He was allowed to appreciate the beauty in everything around him, but if someone tried to appreciate _his_ beauty, he was supposed to brush it off and act like he was made of dirt. What a strange way of thinking. Pushing the thought out of his mind, he tipped his head and kissed her, smiling a little when she opened up to him immediately. Sliding his hands back into her hair, he deepened the kiss and let out a low groan when she pressed forward into his chest, shifting on him to nudge her hips into his.

“ _Ani_ ,” she murmured against his lips. The neediness in her voice drowned out his urge to remind her not to call him that. _To hell with it_. If she wanted to call him _Ani_ , then she could call him Ani.

“Come here, sweetness,” looping an arm around her, he urged her to kneel up for him and put her arms around his shoulders while he reached down between them and positioned himself. Letting out a low moan when she rolled her hips and rubbed against the head of his cock, Anakin gripped her tightly and sucked in a sharp breath as the brunette slowly sank down on him. “ _Stars_ , Iza,”

“ _Anakin_ ,” his name was a soft whimper that gusted into his mouth, a sharp contrast to the hard drag of her nails as they raked up his back. She took her time lowering herself onto his cock, pausing a few times to let out quiet noises that drew rough growls from his chest. She was practically panting by the time she’d settled onto his lap, fingers tangled in the hair at the back of his head while he held tight to her hips and waited patiently for permission to move. This came in the form of a whine and a nudge of her hips and Anakin drew in a deep breath before carefully guiding her into a slow rhythm, tilting his head up to kiss her again. It was difficult to keep the kisses gentle like he’d initially wanted to and eventually, it became a chore to try and keep up with kissing her at all. Iza had settled for resting her cheek against his as she clung to him and worked her hips, moaning in between panting breaths and giving sharp tugs to his hair. Anakin couldn’t take it after a while. Rolling her beneath him on the cot, he rocked into her with hard lunges of his hips and almost grinned when she wrapped her legs around his hips and squeezed as she called out to him.

“That’s it, sweetness,” bowing his head, he found the spot he’d started to mark earlier and made a poor attempt to darken it. He was breathing too damn hard to do much more than bite and sloppily kiss at it, finally grinning when Iza arched beneath him and tightened around him. “ _Come for me_ ,”

Iza’s answering cry almost undid him. Her body tensed and trembled and she sank her teeth into the swell of his shoulder, prompting him to snarl and dig his hips into her harder. He couldn’t hold back for long. She was just too hot, too tight— _so perfect_. Her nails dragged over his scalp and made his whole body tingle, the damp brush of her mouth as she panted against his ear making the pressure in his lower back even worse. He was a goner the second she whispered to him.

“You feel so good, _cyar’ika_ ,” she nuzzled at his cheek and moaned in his ear. “ _Please, Anakin_ ,”

He shouted out into her shoulder. A heavy holler of her name that echoed the fiery sensation that shot through him and out of him and had him clutching her against his frame when she sobbed out her release in return. He couldn’t stop working himself into her until the sensation became too damn sharp for him to stand. He whined against her skin and sank into her, hoping she’d forgive him for dropping so much weight on top of her petite form. He felt her unwind her legs from around his waist, heard her wheezing against his neck as she combed her fingers through his sweaty hair. Neither of them moved aside from the occasional twitch their bodies gave. When he regained enough sense in him to do so, Anakin started to move off of her, only to have the brunette hold him back.

“Stay,” she breathed, looking up at him with dazed eyes.

“You’re so small,” it sounded stupid when he said it and the look she gave him reflected the sentiment.

“I’m tough,” she brushed sweat-slick strands of hair off of his forehead and leaned up to kiss him lazily. “Please stay?”

He didn’t know how to refuse. He was too worn out to bother. Nodding, he settled back down and smiled some when she nuzzled her face in the crook of his neck. He wasn’t sure when they’d dozed off or for how long, but he was jarred awake by the sound of loud, drunk chatter coming from outside of the ship. Grumbling, he carefully rolled off of Iza and rubbed a hand against his cheek. He would have made some comment about how loud they were if the brunette had not shifted beside him and snuggled into his side. She did not appear to be bothered by the noise. He supposed she wouldn’t be if she spent as much time in the barracks as she was rumored to. Sighing, Anakin could only reach a hand out to summon the blanket off of the second cot in the room, draping it over them. Gathering her in his arms, he held her close and buried his nose in her hair, letting out a content sound as he closed his eyes and drifted back to sleep.

~*~*~*~

The feel of fingers brushing through his hair was what woke Anakin initially. The wave of anxiety that swarmed his senses shortly after stirred him to consciousness the rest of the way. Opening his eyes with a soft grunt, he looked around to find Iza sitting up on the cot wrapped in his outer tunic. She had one hand busy playing with his hair while the thumbnail of the other was parked between her teeth. He couldn’t quite read her expression as she stared ahead lost in thought, but the worry she projected into the Force was deafening.

“Hey,” he shifted beside her and turned onto his stomach, sliding an arm across her lap and startling her. He heard her inhale sharply through her nose and let it out in a quick huff before laughing.

“Hi,” she combed the hair back from his forehead and smiled down at him. She looked tired. He wondered how much sleep she’d gotten.

“What are you doing up?”

“Hungry,” Iza gave a sheepish look and turned to hold up a ration packet. “I stole one of your packets of protein cubes.”

Anakin couldn’t help chuckling. Giving a shrug, he dropped a kiss to the top of her thigh and shifted closer to rest his head against it.

“That’s fine. There’s plenty.” After a minute, he looked up again. “The protein cubes, though?”

“Everything else is too dry and I didn’t want to raid the whole kit.”

“You are welcome to anything in the crate, sweetness,” smiling, he looked her over. The dark fabric of his tunic looked nice against her skin, he decided. The thing was too damn big for her, but he’d decided that he liked the look of that too. She’d made an attempt to wrap the panels closed, but without the sash the effort was fruitless. Her breasts were still almost on full display and the shoulders didn’t seem to want to stay up, pooling around the tops of her upper arms instead. _Stars_ , she was pretty. She was also very, _very_ anxious about something. “What’s the matter?”

“Huh?” She looked down at him again and blinked before the question sank in and she waved her hand. “Oh—nothing. I’m just trying to think of how we’re both going to get out of here without it looking suspicious.”

She had a point. Neither of them had returned to the Temple and he had a feeling there would be at least _one_ person who’d noticed. That _one_ person would be his Padawan and she would be very vocal in questioning him about why he wasn’t at morning meditation or at breakfast. At least Iza didn’t have that burden. The most she’d have to worry about is if Master Windu had noticed she hadn’t been back, but she also had the excuse of her bed in the barracks. She’d likely get off easy. But leaving the Twilight was not going to be so simple. Not when he knew the hangar would be busy within the next hour or so.

“Do you really think anyone will notice?” He asked finally, idly rubbing his thumb against her skin. He couldn’t stop touching her. He knew he was eventually going to have to, but for right now—he just didn’t _want_ to.

“I’ve seen Rex walk by at least three times.” Iza sighed and slumped a little. “It’s hard to tell, but it’s like he’s _looking_ for something. I left the cockpit because I was afraid he’d see me.”

“Rex likes to patrol this side of the hangar,” shrugging, Anakin frowned when his fingers brushed an oddly textured bit of skin. Picking his head up, he peered over to look at the other side of her thigh and frowned. “What happened here?”

“It’s just a scar.” Iza yanked the hem of the outer tunic down and didn’t look at him. “It’s old.”

Raising a questioning brow, he waited to see if she’d say anything else about it and let out a sigh when the brunette seemed to ignore him. All right. If she didn’t want to talk about it, then he wouldn’t push. Resting his head against her legs again, he found himself mulling over where she might have gotten such a scar. It felt too large and too _scattered_ to be a battle scar. Besides, he only knew of one incident when she’d been injured enough in battle to have earned herself a scar and it was the one she wore on her face. He hadn’t been present for it, but Obi-Wan had shown up in time to scrape her off the field. She’d taken on a commando droid with her bare hands after it’d downed her Commander and she’d _apparently_ had half her face shattered. The healers at the Temple really knew how to work their magic because the brunette had walked away with little more than the scar and maybe a slight curve left in the bridge of her nose. Vaguely, he wondered if maybe _that_ had something to do with her reaction to him commenting on her attractiveness earlier.

“It’s from tossing myself off the speeder,” the brunette muttered finally, still keeping her gaze pointed away from him. “You probably don’t remember because you were _really_ out of it from your crash, but my robes ripped and I ended up with road rash.”

No, he didn’t remember. Anakin didn’t remember a lot from that night, truthfully. He remembered hitting the sharp curve at a speed he probably shouldn’t have and being thrown from his bike, but everything after that was pretty hazy. Most of his memories came in the form of what he was told and in small fragments that occasionally came to him in his dreams. Sometimes, he could hear Iza’s hysterical screaming and the sound of her igniting her lightsaber as she chased after the sleemos he’d been racing with. He’d hit his head pretty hard. Master Obi-Wan had told him to consider himself lucky that Iza had been around or else he might’ve been in worse shape. Making a soft noise, he pulled himself up on his arms and leaned over her lap, pulling up the fabric of the tunic.

“What are you—”

He cut her off as he lightly pressed his lips to the scattered bits of scar tissue, covering the surface with tiny kisses while the brunette set a restraining hand against his shoulder.

“Anakin—”

“I’m sorry,” he looked up at her, frowning. He’d realized he’d never apologized for having gotten her in so much trouble. He’d never _thanked_ her for attempting to save his ass, either. She’d taken a punishment she didn’t deserve and injured herself for the sake of keeping him from being tossed out, and he hadn’t shown a single ounce of gratitude for it after all of this time. Some friend he was supposed to be. Iza was making that face at him again. That soft, sweet look of gentle adoration that he swore he’d only ever seen her give to Obi-Wan. It still felt funny to have her look at him like that. Even funnier when she swept her fingers through his hair and down over the side of his face. Shaking her head, she lightly brushed the pad of her thumb against his bottom lip and frowned.

“You don’t have to be sorry, _cyar’ika_ ,” she said quietly, leaning down to kiss the top of his head. “I did it to protect you. That’s what we do. We protect each other. We take care of each other.”

His chest tightened. Something in his stomach turned and went cold. He suddenly felt _awful_. He wasn’t sure if the guilt was over having let their friendship dwindle down into damn near nothing, or if he was suddenly being hit with the reality of what he’d done. Iza shouldn’t be talking to him like this. Friend or no friend, these were words that were far too sweet and intimate to be spoken by her. Especially if she was going to be giving him such looks and calling him that strange word. He didn’t know whether or not it was appropriate to pull away from her yet, but he knew he needed to get up. This was starting to go to a place it shouldn’t and he needed to reel it in before he confused himself any further.

“We should…” he paused, flicking his gaze elsewhere. “We should probably get dressed.”

Iza suddenly looked horribly confused. He supposed he couldn’t blame her. He’d feel the same way if she’d been behaving affectionately one minute and then decided that they needed to wrap things up. He could blame it on the fact that the hangar was about to get _extremely_ busy if he needed to. It wasn’t a lie, after all. He just didn’t want her to feel him becoming more and more conflicted the longer they sat here while she behaved so sweetly with him. It wasn’t right. He had no business enjoying her sweetness the way he might enjoy Padme’s.

“Sure,” she nodded and waited for him to get up before she shifted away from him, shrugging out of his tunic and dropping it on the bed as she stood. Anakin kept his eyes pointed at the cot while she wandered over to where he’d tossed her body glove, waiting until he heard her fussing with the pressure seal before he made a move to get up and gather his trousers. She’d already grabbed her boots and left the room. He felt like a bit of an asshole. By the time he made it into the cockpit, she was fully dressed and in the middle of plaiting her hair, staring out of the transparisteel with a decidedly sad look in her eye. _Stars_ , now he really felt like an asshole.

“Iza,” reaching out, he lightly brushed his fingers against her waist and nearly flinched when she batted him away. He knew he couldn’t blame her for being put out, but he hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings. “Sweetness, hold on,”

“I’ll go out first,” she didn’t look at him as she checked to make sure she had everything, working her jaw like she was chewing at her tongue behind her lips. “If there’s anyone around, I’ll distract them so you can leave.”

“Iza—”

“Don’t touch me,” she stepped away from him, sounding a bit choked. He could feel how hurt she was and he couldn’t stand it. Following after, Anakin gently looped his arm around her and pulled her back, grunting when she smacked the center of his chest. When a second strike didn’t follow, he brought a hand up and curled it around the back of her head, bowing to press a soft kiss to her lips. She thumped him again after that, but it was weak and followed by a quiet whimper. “You’re a jerk,”

“I know,” he rested his forehead to hers, stroking his thumb along her jaw. “I’m sorry.”

“You could at least pretend to care about me, Skywalker,” Iza still sounded on the verge of tears. “Don’t make it so obvious that you’re just using me to get what you need.”

“I do care about you,” he tilted his head, frowning. “And I didn’t _use_ you, Iza.”

“What would you call it?”

That was a good question.

“I thought we both wanted this?” Anakin wasn’t sure if that was the right thing to say, but it was the only thing he could think of that wouldn’t immediately remind her that she’d _offered_ herself to him.

“I thought so too,” Iza looked up at him with watery eyes. “So why does it feel like you’re kicking me out now that you’ve gotten what you wanted?”

 _Oh_.

“Sweetness,” sighing heavily, he pulled her in closer and let her rest her head against his chest, rubbing his fingers against the back of her neck. “I’m not… _kicking you out_. But we do need to get out of here before the place gets busy.”

“You were being so sweet, and then you just got… weird.” She wound her arms around him and sagged into him a little. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No,” Anakin shook his head. It wasn’t her fault. Absolutely none of this was her fault. He’d been the idiot who’d gone to bed with another woman. He was the idiot who was going to face the consequences of his guilt. _He_ was the one who should feel bad, not her. “I guess maybe I started feeding off your anxiety about the situation a little bit. I didn’t mean to upset you, Iza. Honest.” Well— _he hadn’t_. “I’m sorry, sweetness.”

“I’m only worried because I don’t know if Master Windu will be in here today,” Iza shrugged and hesitated before she nestled her cheek in the center of his chest. “The clones don’t _care_ , Anakin. If I thought they cared, I wouldn’t have suggested going to the bar last night.”

“You just got done telling me you were worried that Rex might see you,”

“Yeah—because I didn’t want him coming in here to investigate why I was hanging around in your freighter, Ani,” scoffing, the brunette shook her head. “It’s one thing if they see us leave together. It’s another entirely if your Captain sees me walking around naked under _your_ robes.”

“Rex wouldn’t say anything. He’s pretty good at keeping secrets.” Anakin suddenly wished he hadn’t said that. Thankfully, it didn’t appear as though Iza cared much at all.

“I don’t really _want_ him to know what I look like naked, Anakin.” She made a face and looked up at him. “There’s enough _speculation_ as it is. Have you _seen_ the noseart on my gunship?”

“Er—yeah, actually. I’m surprised you haven’t made them paint over it yet.”

“I tried to but they all made a fuss about how much time they spent on it and I mean—it isn’t _bad_ looking.” Iza shrugged and turned a hand up. “They agreed to make some adjustments, which is why I’m not _nude_ anymore.”

“You were _nude?_ ” Anakin’s brows went up high on his forehead. He’d only seen the current noseart on the gunship. It was on the saucy side, especially for a depiction of a Jedi General, but he’d had no idea that it originally showed her in the buff.

“It only lasted a few days. I made a comment to Catcher about being uncomfortable about it and the next day, I was wearing blacks.”

“Well, I guess I’m glad your Commander has your back, then,”

“Yeah,” Iza trailed off and made an odd face before shaking her head dismissively. “Catch is good like that. Really loyal. Most of these men are.”

Anakin could only nod in agreement. He spent the next moment or so just rubbing his thumb along the base of Iza’s neck before he bowed and kissed the top of her head again, barely able to resist the urge to nuzzle his nose into her hair. He was finding it very difficult to want to break away from her. That was not a good thing. Not at all. Finally, he breathed a deep sigh and leaned back to look at her.

“We should probably go. Morning meditation is almost over. If you want to avoid Master Windu, it’s best to leave now.” He hated the way her face fell. It put such a weird pressure in the middle of his chest that reminded him of how he felt whenever Padme made that same sad face just before they had to part from one another. _Force_ , he was starting to wish he hadn’t done this. That guilt was starting to take anchor in his gut again and he just knew he was going to feel sick for the rest of the day.

“Yeah,” Iza whispered, nodding. She hesitated before she started to draw back from him, fingers trailing along his waist as that sad look became sadder and she pressed her lips together in a thin line. He couldn’t stand it.

“We’ll get dinner again tonight,” the words rolled off his tongue before he could stop them and Iza looked startled when she picked her head up to stare at him. He only brought a hand up and brushed his knuckles against her jaw, the tiniest of smiles lifting the corners of his mouth. “We’ll go somewhere a little nicer than Dex’s. Unless that’s where you want to go.”

“Where,” the brunette seemed to need a minute to gather her thoughts. “Where else is there to eat?”

“I know a few places,” he tucked a bit of hair she’d missed behind her ear and pulled her close again to rest his forehead to hers. “Just come by around the same time you did last night and I’ll take you.”

Iza didn’t say anything for a long moment. She just gazed at him with something like awe in her eyes. The brush of her fingers against his cheeks made Anakin smile wider and he lowered his head for her before she needed to pull him down for a kiss. He had to admit, kissing her was addicting. Even when they were soft and sweet and slow like this, he felt like he could get lost in her kisses forever if she’d let him. She seemed pretty keen to draw them out, too. Every time he was sure she was ready to pull back, she’d press forward again and tentatively slide her tongue back into his mouth like she needed just _one_ more taste— _one_ last fix before she could break away. It led to him running his hands down her back and pulling her closer by the hips again, groaning quietly into her mouth when she leaned heavily into his chest and twisted the tips of her fingers in the ends of his hair. Anakin found himself blindly backing up, sitting down in one of the chairs to haul her onto his lap. This wasn’t a good idea, but none of his ideas over the last twelve hours or so had been good ones. The more they kissed, the deeper the kisses became, and the deeper the kisses became, the sloppier and hungrier they grew from there. He pawed at her hips while she rocked into him slowly, whimpering into his mouth needily. He’d started unfastening her belt and tugging her sash loose when a loud, piercing whistle cut through the hangar and startled them both.

 _Rex_.

“ _Shit_.” He panted as he broke away to look out of the transparisteel. The blond clone had his back to the freighter, but his fingers were pointing towards the front entrance. It was the signal that someone was coming. Someone important. He wasn’t sure who, but he had a feeling it wasn’t someone who needed to see them like this. “We gotta get out of here, sweetness.”

“What?” She was dazed and adorably confused.

“Listen,” he cupped her face and kissed her again, careful not to let it get out of hand. “I _really_ don’t want to stop. I don’t. But I don’t want you to get in trouble with Master Windu.”

“Anakin—”

“We’ll get a room.” This was an even stupider idea than taking her out to dinner, but what choice did he have? He couldn’t bring her back here again. It would look even more suspicious a second time around. “We’ll get a room and we’ll stay all night and we won’t worry about anything.”

Slowly, Iza nodded and leaned in for another kiss, reluctantly breaking away.

“Okay.”

“Okay.” He smiled wide and brushed his thumb against her cheek, planting his lips to the center of her forehead. “You better go, sweetness. Walk around the back way and cut between the fighter birds. If anyone asks, you were looking for my toolbox for me.”

“Right,” steadying her breathing, the brunette carefully slid off of his lap and got to her feet, fixing her belt and sash before giving him one last look. “Don’t stand me up, Skywalker.”

“I won’t. I swear.”

Nodding again, Iza turned and headed out. Anakin heard her lowering the ramp and the quiet sounds of her boots as she left. When she was gone, he blew out a hard breath and put his face in his hands. _Stars above_ , what the hell had he just done? Maybe he could fix this. Maybe he could just spend his free time with her until leave was over and things would go back to normal? Iza followed the Code pretty strictly, after all. This _had_ to be some sort of byproduct of pent up frustration—just like what he was dealing with. She’d said the night before that they were allowed to have sex and maybe she was just indulging herself. There was nothing wrong with that. Not on her end, anyway. _He_ , on the other hand, was a married man. He was not supposed to do things like this. His own personal paranoia aside, he should’ve known better than to act on such impulses. Even if Padme could not control _hers_ , someone had to be the faithful one in the relationship, didn’t they? _Force_ , the longer he thought about it, the more he wondered if he’d even take it all back if he had the chance.

“General Skywalker,”

“ _Fucking hell!_ ” He nearly fell out of the chair at the sound of Rex’s voice, picking his head up and scrubbing a palm over his face. “Warn a man before you sneak up on him, Rex. _Force_.”

“Sir,” the blond looked concerned. “I apologize. Commander Tano is looking for you.”

“I’ll be right there,” Anakin needed a minute to get his heart rate back to a normal pace. When Rex didn’t immediately move to leave, the Jedi glanced up and raised an eyebrow. “Is there something else, Captain?”

“ _Sir_ ,” Rex gave him a pointed look. “You know I don’t like to pry into your personal business, but—”

“Then don’t pry, Rex,” Anakin got to his feet to finish getting dressed, ignoring the look he was getting from the clone Captain.

“Does she know, sir?” The other man asked quietly, watching the Jedi buckle his belt into place.

“No,” Anakin shook his head firmly and turned to fix his friend with a stern look. “And it’s better that she doesn’t know. This isn’t what you think it is, Rex.”

The clone could only stare for a long moment, appearing to let the information sink in. After a moment, he gave a nod of understanding. Still, he looked disappointed with his General. Anakin wasn’t sure he could blame him.

“Very well, sir. I trust you know what you’re doing.” Pivoting, Rex made his way out, leaving Anakin to scoff and shake his head.

“That’s the problem, buddy.” He muttered to himself. “ _I don’t._ ”


	3. Why Do I Feel Like a Loser?

Iza found it difficult to concentrate for the majority of the day. She’d managed to get out of the hangar without being seen by anyone important, though she _had_ noticed a few of the clones giving her curious side glances when she passed them on her way out. She’d ignored them, too focused on getting to the showers so she could clean up and make it look as though she _hadn’t_ spent the night with Anakin Skywalker. Going into the barracks had been a bad idea. The few members of her squad who’d been at 79’s the night before all greeted her with smug, knowing little smiles—though they were kind enough not to outright _say_ anything to her. Thankfully, Catcher seemed none the wiser. The last thing she needed was to listen to him grumble at her about _where she’d been_ and _who she’d been with_. She swore he took his job as her Commander a little too seriously at times. Iza was also pretty sure making the decision to sleep with him _occasionally_ was a bad one.

“There you are,” he smiled at her when she came strolling up to where her crate sat at the foot of her bunk. They shared the stacked beds in the back corner. His was the one up top and hers was the bottom. Iza didn’t like top bunks. She was always worried she’d roll out of them. “Did you stay in the Temple?”

“Hm?” She did her best to look as innocent as possible, hoping he couldn’t see the marks Anakin had left behind on her neck. The collar of the blacks did a pretty good job of hiding them, but she was sure one or two of them were peeking out above the fabric. “Oh—yeah,”

“You missed Phys Training this morning.” He watched her as she crouched to get into the crate, tipping his head a little. “I don’t think you’ve missed one since the war started.”

“I had a hangover,” Iza rooted through the crate, pushing aside her armor plates to get at the folded military greys beneath. “The Stars bought me too many shots last night.”

“I meant to go last night,” Catcher let out a dry laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. “Got caught up with some paperwork. You know how it is when we do this _leave_ shit.”

“Yeah,”

“Are you all right, Little Bit?”

“What?” Iza hadn’t even noticed she’d started drifting. She’d caught a light whiff of Anakin on her clothes and her mind had wandered to the parting kiss they’d shared. She really wished they hadn’t been interrupted. She would have liked to have indulged in him a little longer.

“I asked if you were all right.” Catcher frowned, giving her a funny look.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she nodded and straightened, closing the lid of the crate. “Just a little tired.”

“Well, you have all the time in the universe to rest. That’s the beauty of being on leave.”

Maybe she’d do that. Maybe after her shower, she’d come back and nap for a little while. She hadn’t gotten much sleep. She’d dozed off with Anakin for a few hours but her stomach had woken her up and she hadn’t been able to get back to sleep after that.

“Do you want to get something to eat?” Catcher’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts again and it took her a minute to process what he’d said before she gave an odd bob of her head. It wasn’t a yes and it wasn’t a no. She didn’t know what she wanted to do.

“I have to shower,” she said finally, holding her uniform against her chest. “I didn’t get to do it this morning.”

He eyed her warily for a long moment before a slow smile spread across his lips. She caught him casting a glance over his shoulder before he stepped closer and leaned against the frame of the bunk, giving her a look that, frankly, made her a little uncomfortable.

“I can be there in five minutes,” _oh, Force_. “I’ll help you wash your hair.”

“No, Catcher,” Iza shook her head and took a step back from him. “Not today. _I’m tired_.”

“Okay,” that was the beauty of Catcher. He didn’t _push_. He liked to give soft little puppy dog looks instead, but Iza wasn’t in the mood to fall for it today. “No problem, Little Bit,”

“I’ll meet you in the canteen, okay?” Moving to walk around him, she flashed a quick smile and gave his shoulder a gentle bump. The least she could do was be friendly. “You better save me a biscuit, Commander.”

The smile he gave in return was warm and affectionate. It made her feel bad that she was refusing him, but not bad enough to give in. She wasn’t lying about being tired, after all, and Iza thought it a bit _sleazy_ to jump from Anakin to her Commander just to make him happy. He bumped her shoulder in return and nodded, pointing his thumb over his shoulder.

“Get out of here, General. I’ll make sure these idiots don’t eat up all the good food.”

Iza took that as her cue to leave, briskly walking out with her head down as she passed the other Stars. As she walked across the compound towards the showers, she heard the echo of Anakin’s voice off in the distance, followed by that of his Padawan’s. Her heart did a funny little flip in her chest and she picked her head up, looking around to find him walking with her in the opposite direction. They seemed to be too deep in conversation to notice her. It didn’t stop her from watching him, her fingers clenching tight around the material of the uniform she held. All at once, the events of the night before came creeping back into her mind before she could stop them and Iza felt a heaviness in her chest that started to make her throat ache. Anakin Skywalker had never been the center of her heart’s attention before. She’d always longed after his master, Obi-Wan. It was a crush that had begun when she was a child and lingered long into her early adulthood until she realized that the man just _wasn’t_ interested in pursuing her that way. She still held a certain fondness for him and she suspected she always would. But her heart had moved on in recent months and she couldn’t figure out for the life of her why it had chosen _Anakin_ of all people.

They’d been friends—for the most part—when they were Padawans. She mostly just tried to keep him out of trouble while he introduced her to various different ways of _getting into_ trouble. Master Windu didn’t care much for the fact that she’d bonded with him, but he hadn’t done much to discourage it. He’d warned her not to let Anakin cloud her personal judgements and she’d done her best to heed that warning. At least until the accident. He’d truly scared the hell out of her then. At the time, she’d never been so scared in her life. It took months to get the image of him being pitched off of the speeder bike out of her head. Iza had tried to chase down the bastards he’d been racing with, too. She had been so blind with emotion that she had just taken off after them on foot until they’d disappeared into civilian traffic. She never said anything to anyone, but she was pretty sure she might’ve murdered them if she’d been able to catch up. Instead, she’d gone back to tend to Anakin and devise the plan that would leave her with the ugly scar on her hip and the image of her master’s disappointed face forever imprinted in her mind. She knew Windu was fully aware she hadn’t been the one driving, although it made more sense than it being Anakin. She didn’t know the first thing about driving a speeder bike and would have absolutely been the cause of a crash like that. But the younger boy’s injuries were too grave for her story to stick. Still, she’d taken the punishment she’d been given and she was glad that Master Obi-Wan hadn’t been too harsh on Anakin. It had worked out in the end—for the most part.

They’d started to drift apart from one another in recent years and while she wanted to blame it on things like their training and the war, she had to wonder if it had more to do with the accident than anything else. Anakin seemed to have grown increasingly intolerant of her presence and so she’d just left him alone. She hadn’t known what else to do. But recently, she’d been thinking about him a lot. Maybe because he’d been on the base more frequently. After last night, she had a feeling she was going to be thinking about him even more. Iza didn’t think the feeling was mutual, however. He had behaved so _funny_. Like hot and cold, he would be so sweet one minute and then rigid and cold the next. It would be fine if she didn’t have these stupid emotions stuck in her chest. Casual sex wasn’t a big deal to her. She was able to get away with such a thing with Catcher, after all. But Anakin felt _different_. **Everything** about Anakin felt different.

“Jedi Tacor!”

Pulled out of her daze by Ahsoka’s cheery voice, Iza blinked and let her mind come back into focus in time to see the teenage Togruta waving as she walked up. Behind her, Anakin strolled up at a slower pace. He wore an odd expression, almost like he wasn’t sure he wanted to approach her or not. He also seemed to be trying not to smile. Their eyes met over the top of Ahsoka’s head and suddenly it was _Iza_ who was having a hard time trying to keep the bright smile off of her face. She felt her cheeks starting to heat as the image of him pulling her onto his lap in the freighter filled her head and she swore she could feel and taste his mouth on hers again. Letting out a quick rush of breath, she turned her eyes away and smiled at Ahsoka instead.

“Good morning, Ahsoka,” she didn’t like how strained her voice sounded. “Where are the two of you off to?”

“We were going to get something to eat from the canteen,” the younger girl answered, pointing to the building across the way. She eyed the uniform in Iza’s arms and then looked back up at her. “If you’re not busy, you should join us.”

“ _Snips_ ,” Anakin had finally caught up and shot the Padawan a look. “I’m sure Iza has things to do.”

“I was…” she gestured towards the showers, flushing pink. “I won’t be long. I’m supposed to meet my Commander inside.”

“Oh?” A brow went up on Anakin’s forehead, an odd sort of darkness creeping into his eyes.

“Inside the _canteen_ , Anakin,” Iza bit out through clenched teeth, giving him a look. His expression didn’t change. What the hell was _this_ about? The two of them eyed each other silently for a moment before the brunette straightened her back and looked to Ahsoka instead. “Give me ten minutes, tops. I’d be happy to join you for breakfast if you don’t mind the other extra head.”

“I think we’ll just get our food and go,” Anakin answered before Ahsoka could even get a word in. “We don’t want to interrupt whatever you’ve got going with your Commander.”

Iza stared at him, shoulders sagging a little. That dark look still hadn’t disappeared from his eyes. He was upset, but she couldn’t figure out _why_. Giving a tiny nod, she lowered her gaze.

“Sure,” her belly clenched and went cold. She pinched her mouth as her throat began to tighten and she ducked her head, murmuring an apology before she stepped around Ahsoka to continue heading across the compound.

“ _Master_ ,” she could hear the younger girl scolding Anakin in a confused tone. “I think you hurt her feelings.”

Anakin didn’t say anything to her. Or if he did, Iza didn’t hear it. To be fair, she’d become too preoccupied with getting the hell away from them to really listen in anymore. She’d gotten about halfway across the blacktop when she felt someone take hold of her arm, startling her and making her shout and drop her uniform. Looking up at Anakin as he loomed over her with an unreadable expression on his face, she pulled out of his grasp and bent to pick up her greys, blinking the tears off of her lashes.

“What do you want?” She sounded even more strained than before. She wished he hadn’t made her speak.

“You can come and eat with us when you’re done,” it was even harder to read his tone. She wanted to kick him in the shin. Letting out a bark of laughter, Iza ran the heel of her hand beneath her eyes and scowled.

“Are you offering because Ahsoka made you feel bad?”

“No.”

“I don’t believe you,” hugging the uniform to her chest, Iza shrugged. “I mentioned Catcher and your whole attitude changed, Ani. What the _hell_ was that about?”

“I don’t know,” he shook his head, lowering his gaze. After a minute, he licked his lips and turned a hand up. “You’re projecting a lot of… _affectionate_ feelings.”

“And you think it’s because of Catcher?”

His eyes widened momentarily, a brow going up as he brought his eyes back up and stared at her questioningly. Realization washed over his face and he looked away again, another one of those odd looks sinking into his features before he cleared his throat and thinned his lips.

“You’re so stupid.” Iza muttered, turning to leave.

“Iza,”

“I’ll meet you in the canteen,” she wasn’t going to turn around again. Iza didn’t need him to see how close she was to crying. When he came up alongside her and took her by the arm again, she bit down on her tongue and shut her eyes. “Anakin, I have to shower.”

“Look at me for a minute,” when she refused, she heard him sigh and felt soft leather come to rest against the side of her face. “Sweetness, please?”

Iza picked her head up, finding it a bit difficult to look at him directly. His thumb swept across her cheek, smudging a tear into her skin that she hadn’t realized had fallen. He tutted, looking oddly regretful. _Good_. With all of the yo-yoing of her feelings he’d been doing, he deserved to wear that look. She couldn’t understand what the hell was wrong with him. If he didn’t share her affectionate feelings, then he didn’t _have_ to. But he really needed to stop making her feel so confused. She had half a mind to tell Catcher where she’d really been the night before just so she could have the satisfaction of seeing the clone Commander punch the hell out of Anakin’s pretty face for making her so upset. She wouldn’t, but it gave her a small fraction of comfort to have it as an option.

“Don’t cry,” he said softly, continuing to rub his thumb along the swell of her cheek. “Please don’t cry, Iza.”

“Do you want me to meet you two or not?” It was getting hard to talk. “Do you even want to meet up tonight, Anakin? Or did you offer because you _felt bad?_ ”

His expression softened even more and he shot a quick glance over his shoulder before dropping his hand between her shoulders, urging her forward into the building. There was no one in the immediate area—surprisingly—so he didn’t seem to have a problem drawing her closer and cupping her face in both of his hands. For a minute, Anakin just seemed to study her with those pretty blue eyes of his. Iza didn’t know what to make of the way he was looking at her. He seemed _contemplative_ , if anything. He sure liked to wear that look a lot. She almost pulled back when he lowered his head, unsure if she wanted to kiss him. She found she couldn’t quite resist once his lips touched hers, however. Rising up on her toes, Iza practically melted into the soft kiss and leaned into his chest with a quiet whine. This wasn’t an answer. This was another method of shutting her up. She hated how damn effective it was.

“I want you to join us,” he said finally, letting his forehead come to rest against hers. “And I _want_ to take you out tonight. Sweetness, I don’t mean to make you upset. But we have to play it cool.”

“Then maybe _you_ shouldn’t suddenly act jealous when I mention my Commander.” Iza gave him a pointed look, lightly nudging her nose against his. He let out a quiet laugh and lowered his gaze, sucking his teeth lightly.

“Point made.”

“You should get back to Ahsoka,” she kept her tone gentle so he wouldn’t think she was trying to get rid of him. She _wasn’t_. If she had it her way, Iza would’ve dragged him along with her for her shower. Tipping her head up, she pressed another light kiss to his lips and lingered long enough to give his bottom one a quick nibble. “I’ll be there soon. But I have _got_ to shower, Ani.”

“You smell fine,” he’d slipped his arm around her waist without her realizing and had started peppering little kisses down her jaw.

“ _Anakin_ ,” her knees were going weak. The further along his mouth moved, the harder it was getting to resist. She knew she needed to brush him off before someone came in here. She would. In a minute. Maybe after she let him mark up the spot behind her ear a little bit.

“ _Stars_ , Iza,” he breathed against her skin, hands pawing at her hips. She kind of liked that he was so grabby. It made her feel desired in a way that she actually _liked_. “You _have_ to stop saying my name like that.”

“I don’t want to,” she tilted her head for him, giving him better access to the bit of skin he was mouthing at. The way he growled at her made her belly quiver and Iza almost had the not-so-bright idea to invite him to come into the shower with her. She knew she shouldn’t. He couldn’t leave Ahsoka waiting in the canteen _and_ it would be even more obvious if they both came back sporting wet hair. But _Force_ , he was making it more and more difficult to want to break away.

“Oh—” the startled voice of a clone trooper had both of them jumping like they’d been burned. “Er, _sorry_ ,”

Iza didn’t have time to see if she even knew which trooper it was. Anakin, however, cussed under his breath and ran his fingers through his hair.

“I should get back,” he sounded like it was the _last_ thing he wanted to do. Looking down at her, he flashed a stupid little smile and leaned in to give her another hard kiss before lightly pinching her chin. “Don’t take too long,”

“I won’t,” it wasn’t necessary for her to touch his face or his chest but she was going to do it anyway. She let him kiss her again and almost whined when he pulled away completely, watching as he backed up a few paces before finally turning to leave. _For the love of the Force_. She really didn’t want to let him go. She’d damn near run after him to drag him back inside. Thankfully, she had enough sense in her to just move further into the building so she could _finally_ get into the damn shower. It would have to be quick and it would have to be a _cold_ one.

~*~*~*~

“Did you get lost?” Catcher frowned when he looked up from his tray.

“No,” glancing to Ahsoka and Anakin—who sat on the opposite side of the table from her Commander—Iza adjusted her jacket collar as discreetly as she could and took up the seat beside Catcher. “I had to go bring my stuff to the launderer.”

“You’re not wearing robes,” Ahsoka studied her with curious eyes. “I didn’t know humans were allowed to do that.”

“I can wear my greys when my Jedi stuff is being washed,” Iza smiled faintly and propped her chin in her hand. “I actually like them a lot. They’re comfortable.”

“You only say that because you hate wearing layers,” Anakin piped, shooting her a look. “You’ve always hated wearing layers.”

“ _You_ grew up on Tatooine. You need layers to survive, you lizard,” reaching over to pick up the breakfast biscuit Catcher had saved on his tray for her, she barely spared Anakin a glance and snorted quietly. “And I don’t _hate_ wearing layers. You make it sound like I hate my Jedi robes—which I do _not_. I just enjoy the freedom of modification.”

“Little Bi— _General Tacor_ ,” Catcher cleared his throat. “With all due respect, you haul around close to an extra sixty pounds with most of those modifications. Throw on the chest piece and you’ve got the full ninety.”

“Yes, but I’m also not going to absolutely wreck myself if I fall. I have enough scars as it is.”

Across from her, Anakin choked on whatever it was he’d put in his mouth. Alarmed, Iza pushed the unopened bottle of juice Catcher had gotten for her over to him and waited while the younger Jedi cracked it open and took a few swallows.

“Thanks,” he murmured, setting it back in front of her.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Anakin nodded and cast a quick smile at her. Eyeing him for a minute, Iza nodded slowly and picked up the bottle of juice to take a sip. She did not notice the way Catcher was staring or how he kept flicking his eyes between the two Jedi.

“So what do you have planned for Leave, Jedi Tacor?” Ahsoka didn’t seem to be bothered at all by the interruption. It seemed as long as her master wasn’t dead on the floor, everything was fine.

“Huh? Oh,” the brunette gave a shrug and turned her hand up slowly. “I never really know what to do, honestly. I just kind of hang out around the base most of the time.”

“She’s a real pain in the neck, this one,” Catcher’s voice was a little _off_. The only one who seemed to notice was Iza. Their gazes met briefly and he narrowed his eyes in silent question, only to have her turn her attention to the food he’d saved for her.

“I only want to make sure the squad is on point, Catch,” pinching off a piece of the biscuit, Iza popped it into her mouth and chewed slowly. As hungry as she was, she really didn’t feel like eating this. “It’s not like I make you guys run drills or anything. I let you have your leisure time.”

“ _You_ rarely take leisure time for yourself, sir.”

“That’s not true. I just don’t do it during the day.” Setting the biscuit back down, she tried taking another sip of the juice. No, she didn’t want that either. “I still have responsibilities, after all.”

“Do you want a fresh one of those, General?” Catcher asked, gesturing to the breakfast biscuit when Iza looked over at him.

“This is fine, Catcher. Thank you.”

“You’re picking at it the way you do when something doesn’t taste right. Are you sure, sir?”

“I said it’s _fine_ , Catch,” What the _hell_ was wrong with him? “It’s a little cold but I don’t care.”

“Right,” nodding, the clone fell silent beside her and turned back to his food.

“Are you going to take a Padawan soon?” Ahsoka seemed to be full of questions and didn’t care about the weird tension that had fallen over the table. If she did, she was polite enough to ignore it.

“Me?” Iza blinked, surprised at the question. “I… I don’t think I’d make for a very good master.”

“ _Bantha shit_ ,” Anakin scoffed, shooting her a look. “I’ve seen you with the younglings. They _love_ you. And you’re great with Ahsoka too.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’d like to have a Padawan at some point,” the brunette set her hands in her lap and shrugged, looking between the two. “I just don’t think I’m ready for that kind of responsibility.”

“She’s already got an entire squadron to take care of,” Catcher murmured beside her. “Adding a kid to the mix might shake things the wrong way.”

“ _Catcher_ ,”

“Training a Padawan is one of the highest privileges a Jedi can have,” Anakin frowned hard at the clone, straightening in his seat. “Not everyone gets selected for it, either. It all depends on the youngling and who they want to train them.”

“Not always, from what I’m told,” Catcher snorted and took a bite of his food. “Sometimes you get stuck with who you get stuck with no matter who you’re vying for, according to this one.”

“Catcher, you’re dismissed,” Iza stared down at the table, feeling her face getting hot.

“I’m in the middle of—”

“ _I said you’re fucking **dismissed**!_”

“General—”

Iza got up from the bench so fast that she bashed her knees against the edge of the tabletop, muttering a curse word under her breath as she stormed out of the canteen. She waited to hear the clomp of boots behind her and was silently thankful when it appeared as though no one was in a hurry to follow her. Her feet seemed to automatically carry her in the direction of the barracks, which was fine with her. She needed to lie down. She was much too tired for this.

“You all right, General?” Popper asked when she breezed into the barracks, looking up from where he sat at the edge of his bunk.

“ _Haryc_ ,” already she was popping the buttons on her jacket to take it off as she made her way to the stacked beds in the corner.

“You want me to clear the place out?”

“That’s not necessary, Pop. Thank you.” Tossing the jacket on top of her crate, Iza dropped onto her bed and covered her head with her pillow. She heard Popper give an answer, but it was muffled and she didn’t feel like asking him to repeat himself. How the hell had this gone downhill so damn fast? Better question—what the _hell_ had gotten into Catcher to make him think it was appropriate to bring up _that_ conversation to Anakin? She knew her Commander could be a little on the protective side at times, which was half the reason she’d stopped going to 79’s with him, but to go and say some shit like that was out of line. She didn’t know how much Anakin knew about who she’d planned on asking to be her master as a youngling. She didn’t think Obi-Wan would have told him anything about it, honestly. But the last thing she needed was for him to think she held some sort of grudge against him after all of this time because her first choice had been stolen from her. Maybe at the time—and for the first couple of years—she’d been upset. But she’d gotten over it. They’d become friends. She had still been allowed to seek guidance from Obi-Wan as well, so it had not been a total loss either. There was _no need_ for Catcher to dig that old mess up. _None_.

“Little Bit,”

“ _Nar’sheb_ ,” she curled up tighter on the bed, pressing the pillow more firmly against her head.

“Sweetheart,” he sat down behind her and she could feel him hesitating before his hand settled on her side. She wriggled away and damn near rolled off the other side of the bunk. “Iza, please,”

“ _How dare you?_ ” Pulling the pillow off of her head, the brunette sat up and fixed him with a hard glare and a deep frown. “How _dare_ you say that in front of him?”

“I didn’t know it was that big of a deal,” he shrugged and turned his hands up. “I figured it was common knowledge up in your little Temple that you Jedi don’t always get what you want?”

“ _Catcher_ ,” Iza blew out a heavy breath and smacked her hand against the bed. “Only a _few_ of us have ever been denied the Jedi Masters we want, and it’s always been due to circumstance. Sometimes the Jedi doesn’t want to take us, or sometimes… sometimes the Force has other plans for that Jedi. There’s no controlling it.”

“Does Skywalker not know…?”

“ _No, he doesn’t._ ” Her frown deepened further and Iza found herself reaching for the end of her plaited hair, pulling at it to ease some of the anxiety in her chest. “As far as I know, he has no idea that I was gunning for Master Obi-Wan as my mentor.” Pulling until she thought she felt a couple of hairs come loose, the brunette huffed. “But it doesn’t _matter_ , Catcher. That’s not something he _needs_ to know.”

The clone fell silent for a moment as he studied her, reaching out to brush her hands away from her hair so she’d stop pulling. Iza switched to yanking at the shirt she wore instead, glaring down at her knees.

“What’s going on with you, Little Bit?” Catcher asked quietly, trying to get her to look at him.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this flustered over something before. Not since you found out Kenobi was the one who yanked us off the field when we got ambushed.”

“I told you earlier, _I’m tired_ ,” Iza was going to put a hole in this damn thing if she kept picking and pulling at it.

“Yeah, I know,” the clone heaved a sigh and got to his feet. “I’ll let you rest.”

“Thank you.”

“You might want to do something about the hickies on your neck, though.” His tone shifted and Iza tensed, not daring to look up. “Someone’s going to start asking questions again and I don’t know what you want me to say this time. Not when Skywalker’s got them all over his neck, too.”

“Catcher,” she lifted her head and found him staring off in another direction of the barracks, rubbing the back of his neck. She couldn’t see his face, but he was giving off an uncomfortable vibe.

“You could have told me, Little Bit,” he murmured, keeping his eyes pointed elsewhere. “You don’t have to keep secrets from me.”

“It’s not… what you think.”

“Isn’t it?” Hazel-tinged brown eyes finally shifted to look at her, a brow going up slowly. After a moment or so of just staring at him, Iza shrugged her shoulders and turned her hands up.

“I don’t know.” She said softly, swallowing hard. “I don’t know what it is, Catch.”

“You told me Jedi aren’t allowed to have—”

“ _We’re **not**_. Catcher, I didn’t lie to you.” Scooting to the edge of the bed to look at him better, Iza hesitated before tugging at him to get him to sit back down. “It’s just sex, Catch.”

“I really don’t think it is, Little Bit,”

“What do you want me to say?” She turned her hands up again and gave a helpless look. “I’ve been friends with Anakin for a _long_ time. We’ve been through a lot together. There’s _going_ to be some emotion involved at first. I can’t help it. I couldn’t help it with _you_ , either.”

“I know,” he whispered, staring at their feet.

“I’ll get over it. I’m not going to have a choice.” Even as she said it, Iza didn’t sound very sure of herself. She certainly wouldn’t have believed her words if she’d had them spoken to her.

“I still don’t think it’s very fair they expect you to do that.” Catcher mumbled, frowning at the floor. “We clones aren’t built for _feelings_ and _attachments_ and yet I know plenty of my brothers who’ve indulged and they’re doing just fine. It makes them work harder as soldiers to want to fight for those people—to _come back_ to them.”

“I never said I agreed with the Code in its entirety, Catcher. But this is how I was raised. It’s… like a marriage. That’s how it was explained to me once. You would not go out of your way to disrupt the sanctity of that marriage for a cheap thrill, would you?”

“No.” He shook his head and lifted his gaze to look at her. “I wouldn’t.”

“The Order turns a blind eye to the natural needs of its members as long as we continue to adhere to the Code. Even friendships are a tentative luxury because they toe the line of attachment. But romance is inherently forbidden.” Iza smiled tightly and reached over to take his hand, giving it a light squeeze. “That’s not to say I’ve never had sweet feelings for anyone. I am just not allowed to hold onto these things. It’s… not fair. But I feel it’s mostly unfair to the other half than it is to me. Because they should be allowed their feelings, even if I cannot return them.”

“Nobody said other people gave their feelings up, Little Bit,” Catcher’s voice had dropped an octave or so and gone a bit rough, but he smiled when she looked at him. “I understand. I think it’s stupid, but I understand.”

Studying him for a moment, the brunette offered a soft smile and leaned over to give a gentle knock of her forehead into his, shutting her eyes. She heard him chuckle and felt him return the bump before he lightly pressed his lips to her forehead. Someone in the room cleared their throat.

“Get some sleep, Little Bit,” the clone brushed a bit of hair off of Iza’s face when he leaned back, moving to get to his feet. “I’ll take care of the To-Do list today.”

“Are you sure?”

“There’s not much,” he shrugged, turning his hand up. “Some leftover paperwork and a few things to deal with regarding black bags and numbers you don’t like charting.”

Yeah—the less Iza had to deal with the casualty numbers, the better. Giving a slow nod of her head, she smiled gratefully and reached to give his fingers another quick squeeze.

“I appreciate it.”

“It’s what I’m here for, General,” he grinned wide and winked before pointing. “ _Sleep_. You’re useless to us when you’re all worn out and _emotional_.”

“ _Ne'johaa! Utreekov_.” Iza grumbled, giving him a sour look. Catcher only grinned wider and cackled.

“I’ll see you later, _vod’ika_.”

“I hate it when you call me that.”

Casting a look at her as he started to walk off, the clone shrugged a shoulder and smiled smugly.

“ _I know._ ”

~*~*~*~

She’d overslept. Iza wasn’t entirely sure _how_ she’d managed to sleep the entire damn day away, but she’d gone and done it and by the time she’d woken up, it was well past the time she was meant to meet Anakin. Swearing up a storm when she realized this, she’d rolled out of her bunk and grabbed her jacket, yanking it on as she stumbled her way out of the barracks and across the base toward the hangar. Hopefully he wouldn’t be mad. Knowing him, he’d probably found some way to keep busy. There were plenty of birds that needed repairs and he loved fiddling with them anyway, so it wouldn’t surprise her if she walked in and found him with his boots sticking out from beneath one of them again. The first thing she noticed when she rushed inside was that the Twilight was gone. It was just _gone_. The only boots she saw beneath any of the fighters belonged to the other mechanics. Anakin wasn’t here. He’d stood her up. She had a terrible feeling she knew why, too.

Something cold began trickling into her belly and Iza felt her fingers going numb as she moved to sit down on a nearby stool, letting out a harsh breath while her shoulders sagged. Staring blankly at the floor as she tried to come up with a better reason why he’d just _take off_ without at least leaving some bad excuse behind, she felt her throat start to tighten and pressed her lips together to keep her jaw from wobbling. _Great_. Now she was going to cry in the middle of the stupid hangar in front of a bunch of clones. That was exactly what she needed right now. She just couldn’t get up the strength to move from her spot. The soft sound of boots on the concrete behind her barely drew her attention and she did her best to quickly gather herself when she realized Ahsoka was approaching. Hiking up the collar of her jacket to hide the dark spots on her neck, she discreetly ran the heel of her hand beneath her eye and swiveled the stool to address the Padawan.

“Hi,” she said as cheerily as she could manage. The teenage Togruta studied her for a minute before returning the smile.

“I don’t mean to pry, but—are you all right, Jedi Tacor?” Ahsoka asked quietly, giving a light tilt of her head. Iza shrugged nonchalantly and nodded, forcing her smile to widen.

“Of course,” her stomach gave a painful lurch as the lie rolled off her tongue. “Please excuse my appearance. I just woke up.”

The girl’s eyes were far too _knowing_ for her own good. Iza had a strong feeling she’d been caught even if Ahsoka wasn’t going to blatantly call her out. Deciding she didn’t want to sit and be interrogated, she turned and pointed to where the Twilight usually sat.

“Did Anakin leave?” She wished her voice hadn’t cracked. Hopefully her excuse of barely being awake would be enough to cover her ass.

“Oh,” Ahsoka looked over to the empty spot and nodded slowly. “Yeah, he said he had something he had to do.”

“I see,” Iza truly had to fight to keep her throat from closing up again. Standing, she smiled tightly and gave Ahsoka’s shoulder a light pat. “Thanks,”

“I’m sure he’ll be back soon,” the teen tried to sound hopeful but it did nothing to help. Iza had to commend her for trying, though. She was a sweet kid. Anakin was lucky to have her as a Padawan.

“You should get back to the Temple before it gets too late, ‘Soka,” clearing her throat, Iza shoved her hands into her pockets and started for the entrance of the hangar. “I’m sure Rex would be happy to—”

“Were you supposed to meet up with him? Because he’s always late for stuff. If you just wait a little while, he’ll be back.”

Iza stopped in her tracks and bit down on the tip of her tongue, feeling her gut clench hard. Shaking her head, she let out a short laugh and dropped her head back on her shoulders. The tears that fell down her cheeks were scalding. She hated herself for even letting them flow freely like this.

“If he shows up, just tell him I went to 79’s,” she muttered, continuing her way out. Thankfully, Ahsoka didn’t follow. She wasn’t sure what she’d do if the girl had tried to stop her again. Rounding the corner with every intention of heading to the civ path, Iza caught sight of a group of clones getting ready to pile into a speeder and whistled through her teeth to get their attention. “You guys going down to the bar?”

“Yes sir,” one of them nodded, giving her a funny look.

“Mind if I ride with you?”

~*~*~*~

_Drunk._

For the first time in a long time, Iza had allowed herself to get good and wasted down at the bar. She took anything and everything that was handed to her, slamming down shots with clones from various squads until her head swam and her body went numb from all of the alcohol. It occurred to her at one point that she’d barely eaten anything. She was supposed to get dinner with Anakin. _To hell with Anakin_. All she’d asked him to do was _not_ stand her up and he’d done just that, so he could eat a pile of gundark dung for all she cared. She’d taken her shirt off at some point and hung it from her belt to cover her lightsaber, which made her wild dancing much easier on her conscience. The thin-strapped undershirt was much cooler to dance in as well, though it still didn’t stop her from sweating. She was in the middle of ordering a double starshine shot when the familiar press of a palm smoothed over her lower back and she turned to lean into Catcher’s side, reaching up and draping her arms over his shoulders.

“ _Hi_ ,” she smiled at him lazily, watching the way his lips twisted in a light, confused frown.

“How much have you had?” He asked, signaling for the droid behind the counter to give him a bottle of water alongside the shot. Iza blinked at him and rolled her shoulders in an exaggerated shrug.

“I ‘unno,” twisting to pick up the shot glass, she knocked it back with a hard grimace and gave a full body shiver. “ _Fuck me_ ,”

“I think,” Catcher grabbed the water bottle and started to pull her away from the bar, dragging her off to one of the corner booths. “You need to take a break.”

“But I don’t _want_ to,” she pouted, laughing when she tripped over her own boots and almost pitched forward onto the floor. “ _Whoops_ ,”

“What you want and what you need are two different things, sweetheart.” Parking himself on the end of the bench, Catcher dragged her onto his lap to keep her from running off and handed her the water bottle. “Drink it.”

“ _Yes **sir**_ ,” she stuck her tongue out at him and rolled her eyes, giggling as she leaned back into his chest and twisted the cap off. The few sips she took turned into guzzling down nearly the whole thing. She hadn’t realized how thirsty she really was. She let him take it from her before she could make herself sick, tilting her head to rest it against his. “What are you doing here?”

“Karver said he saw you get into a carful of shinies.” Resting his chin on her shoulder, Catcher tutted. “He also said you looked upset.”

“Who’s upset? I’m not upset.”

“ _Little Bit_ ,” twisting his head to look at her, the clone exhaled harshly through his nose. “Do you realize how drunk you are? I haven’t seen you like this since we lost—”

“Finish that sentence and your chances of getting laid are going to go right out the window, Catch.”

“Do you really think I’m going to take advantage of you while you’re like this? Iza,” he took hold of her waist to shift her on his lap so he could look at her properly. “You can barely hold your own head up.”

“You know I can sober up,” Iza made a face at him and scoffed. “S’not a big deal.”

“It _is_ a big deal.”

“If you came here to baby me, you can just go back to base,” moving to push out of his lap, Iza grumbled when he held fast to her hips and pulled her back. Frowning, she batted at his hands. “ _Catcher_ ,”

“Just sit with me for a few minutes, Little Bit,” he looked frustrated. “Do your little trick and sober up for me. _Just a little_.”

“I don’t want to.” She mumbled, shaking her head.

“Eh? Why not?”

“I’m _sad_ , Catch,” Iza’s face crumbled a little, lashes fluttering as she tried to keep her eyes from filling with tears. “I don’t want to be sad. Let me be happy for a while.”

“Sweetheart,” Catcher tipped his head as a soft look sank into his features. Bringing a hand up, he brushed his fingers against her reddening cheek and frowned. “What did he do?”

“It doesn’t matter,” her bright smile held just enough bitterness to match her tone. “It’s his loss, not mine.”

“Iza,”

“I’m going to order another shot,” pushing his hands off of her, Iza stumbled to her feet and rubbed her eyes. “And I’m going to go dance and I’m not going to fucking think about Anakin Skywalker.”

Catcher watched, helpless, as the brunette shambled her way through the crowd back towards the bar. He was at a loss. Part of him wanted to go after her and drag her back to base, but he knew she’d hate him for it. Even if that was the best thing he could do for her, she’d absolutely _hate_ him. The other part of him wanted to figure out where the hell Skywalker was and beat the absolute shit out of the kid. He understood well enough that these Jedi weren’t _supposed_ to cling to feelings like this and he’d accepted that when they’d started their _affair_ —for lack of a better term—but it was easier for him to handle his end of things simply because he’d been engineered not to get attached. It didn’t mean he _couldn’t_. He certainly _had_. But he respected her as his superior and he respected that her title as a _Jedi_ meant she could not indulge in certain things. It was what it was and that was that.

But this just seemed _cruel._ The bastard didn’t even have the decency to let her down gently. It was almost as though he silently expected her to just _know_ not to have any day-after feelings, as though she wasn’t human and that shit like that occurred naturally whether one wanted it to or not. _Maker_ , he wanted to crack that kid’s jaw. He knew the Jedi could easily fuck him up without question—without lifting a finger, really—but he just wanted to get one good lick in before he was rocked into the dirt. It would give him some comfort knowing he’d done _something_ for Iza if he could hurt the little shit like he’d hurt her.

Heaving a sigh, he ran his fingers through his hair and got up from his seat. He didn’t want to lose sight of her if he could help it. Iza could hold her own for the most part, but his brothers were another story. He didn’t want to have to break fingers if he didn’t have to.

~*~*~*~

Iza had found her way back onto the dance floor after another round of drinks. With Catcher in the bar, she’d been able to leave her things with him, knowing he’d be able to keep them safe so she wouldn’t have to worry about misplacing them or having them snatched while she lost herself in the music. She truly did get lost this time, too. This happened from time to time if she concentrated hard enough. It was almost like a form of mediation that allowed her to melt into the Force and move fluidly without a single care in the universe. She could feel the signatures of every being in the room that had one, sense the different range of emotions radiating off of the ones that were the closest to her. Almost everyone was in some form of a happy mood and it helped to lift her spirits and make her feel a little less sad about how her evening had turned out.

She sensed him long before he started moving through the crowd. Even with her eyes closed, she could tell he was watching with all of the focus of a predator on his face. He was reaching for her through the Force. She ignored him. The closer he got, the faster her heart began to pound in her chest. She was losing her focus. The fluidity of her movements stuttered. She needed another drink. Iza started to step away from where she’d been dancing off by herself, fully intending to head back to the bar, when the strong press of a leather-clad hand against her belly pulled her back against a hard muscled frame. She drew in a sharp breath when Anakin tucked his face into the sweaty crook of her neck, throwing a restraining hand out when she sensed Catcher’s immediate displeasure at the move.

“I’m sorry, sweetness,” he murmured against her skin, nuzzling behind her ear as he wound his other arm around her waist. “I’m so sorry,”

“You’re a bit late,” Iza slurred, sinking back into him as her vision blurred. _Man_ , she was drunk. Maybe she didn’t need that drink.

“I got called away,” he sighed and she could feel him frowning against the side of her neck. “Obi-Wan needed my assistance.”

“Mm,”

“Are you angry?”

Shrugging her free shoulder, she turned her head to look at him. She had to blink to clear her double vision.

“Sad,” she answered, watching the way he knit his brows like he was trying to figure out what was wrong with her. “You made me very sad, Skywalker.”

“Sweetness,” straightening, Anakin carefully turned her around and tipped her chin up. “ _Stars above_ , how much have you had to drink?”

“Half the bar,” Catcher’s bitter tone cut in, drawing the taller man’s attention. Iza looked over at the clone and pouted at him.

“I told you to stand down.” She held her hand up and then stuck her arm out. “That’s what this means.”

“I know what it means, Little Bit,” he said pointedly, giving Anakin a look. The Jedi looked confused as he stared back at the clone, a light frown pulling at his lips before his eyes shifted back to Iza.

“Did I interrupt something?” Anakin asked.

“Nope,” Catcher shook his head. “I’m just babysitting.”

“ _Catcher_ ,” Iza swayed in her spot and stumbled back a little, prompting both men to reach out and grab for an arm to keep her from tumbling over. Letting out a laugh, she pushed the hair out of her eyes and winced. “ _Oops_ ,”

“You need to sit,” Anakin’s frown deepened and he gestured towards an empty chair nearby. Turning to Catcher, he hesitated. “Can you get her a water?”

“I was planning on it,” the clone pushed Iza’s belongings into Anakin’s arms and turned to head for the bar. When he was gone, the taller Jedi grunted and moved to help Iza into the chair.

“What’s his problem?”

“He’s probably mad at you,” propping her cheek in her hand, Iza looked up at him with glassy eyes and shrugged. “You made me cry, Skywalker. Catcher doesn’t like it when people make me cry.”

“He knows?”

“We have matching hickies, Ani,” giving him a pointed look, Iza scoffed. “He’s not _stupid_.”

“I wasn’t suggesting that he was.” Fumbling with the things he’d been given, Anakin frowned as he sifted through it and held up Iza’s shirt. “Did you take this off, Iza?”

“It’s _hot_.”

“And your lightsaber?”

“I’m in a bar full of soldiers, Anakin,” waving her hands around, Iza slapped her palms down on the table and huffed loudly. “Do you think anyone would let anything happen to me? I don’t.”

Anakin make a frustrated sound and hung the hilt from his belt. He didn’t say anything for a long moment, working his jaw. And then he ran his fingers through his hair and eyed her.

“Did I really make you cry?”

“You were just _gone_ , Anakin,” Iza pouted up at him, a sad look sinking into her features. “I know I woke up late, but I didn’t think you’d just _leave_.”

“I didn’t have time to say anything. Obi-Wan needed a pickup. I was the only one available.” Anakin turned his hands up. “I asked Ahsoka to stick around in case you came by. Didn’t she tell you?”

“She just said you had something you had to do.” Iza didn’t want to get the girl in trouble. “She tried to get me to stay but I was already upset. It’s not her fault.”

“So this was your solution?” He waved a hand at her.

“I’m _sorry?_ ” Iza scoffed, narrowing her eyes. “What did you want me to do? Sit around and keep crying until you showed up? That’s not how I cope, Skywalker.”

“You could have waited a little longer.”

“Yeah, and do you know what would have happened?” The brunette ground her teeth and swallowed thickly. “I still would have ended up _here_ , only I would be in worse shape because I’d have spent my time crying instead of immediately remedying the problem.”

“This isn’t a _remedy_ , Iza.”

“Well, I’m sorry that I’m not in to _street racing_ , Anakin, but I had my fill of that when we were teenagers.”

“I don’t do that anymore,” Anakin’s expression darkened. “You know I haven’t done that in years.”

“I know,” she sighed, looking away as she smoothed her hair back. “Look—if you’re just going to lecture me, you can save it. I already heard it from Catcher.”

“I’m just concerned, Iza.”

“Concerned because I decided that I didn’t want to sit around and mope? That I wanted to make the best of a shitty situation?” Iza rubbed at her bleary eyes and barked out a laugh. “I thought you stood me up, Anakin.”

“But I didn’t.”

“But what if you _had?_ Would you still get mad at me for this?”

Anakin didn’t say anything. He stood there for a moment, working his jaw and staring down at the floor. When he didn’t answer after a while, Iza snorted and moved to rest her head on her arms.

“I just didn’t want to feel _sad_ anymore,” she was so fucking _tired_ now. Tired and hungry. She wondered if the night market was open. Maybe she could get Catcher to take her before they went back to base for the night. She doubted that Anakin was going to want to go anywhere with her tonight. “You’ve done nothing but make me confused and sad. Maybe you don’t mean to, but you have.”

From the corner of her eye, she saw him crouching in front of her chair. The touch of his hand on her face made her close her eyes. _Bad idea_. Her head swam horribly and the room spun when she opened them again, making her whine miserably.

“Iza?”

The brunette reached out and braced her hands on his shoulders, trying to ground herself. Breathing hard through her nose, she fought back against the nausea rolling in her gut and tried to find something to focus on. His eyes. The crystalline blue was the easiest to keep her gaze locked to without losing concentration right away. She had to block everything else out; the music, the sounds of excited chatter and shouting, the feel of Catcher’s hand when it came to rest between her shoulder blades. Iza could only maintain focus on Anakin’s eyes until she started to feel some of the heaviness of the intoxication drain away, taking with it the nausea and the vertigo. Letting out a relieved breath, she bowed her head and swore softly.

“Little Bit?” Catcher’s voice was gentle in her ear as he rubbed at her back. “You good, sweetheart?”

“Yeah,” she nodded and straightened slowly, looking up to see him holding a water bottle and wearing a look of concern. “Jedi devilry.”

“It’s about time,” he scoffed, shaking his head at her. Giving Anakin a look, he pointed his thumb. “I’ve been trying to get her to sober up for over an hour now.”

“You should listen to your Commander more often,” Anakin ran the pad of his thumb against her cheek.

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that,” taking the water bottle that was being offered, Iza snorted and opened it, taking a few sips. Grinning when she felt Catcher give her a little push, she looked up and poked her tongue out at him. “What?”

“Are you going to be okay if I go back to base?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. This made her tense a little and tilt her head.

“You’re leaving?”

“Sweetheart, I have drills to run in the morning.”

 _Right_. Even if they were on leave, the men still had to stay in shape, didn’t they? Closing the water bottle, Iza gave a tiny nod.

“Yeah. I’ll be fine.”

“I’ve got her,” Anakin said reassuringly. “I won’t let her stay out too much longer. She looks like she needs something to eat anyway.”

“Did you even hit the mess, Little Bit?” Catcher frowned, squinting.

Iza didn’t answer, ducking her chin and clearing her throat. She heard both men heave identical sighs and knew she was about to get a damn earful.

“ _Di’kut_ ,” Catcher shook his head, making Iza jerk her head up to look at him. Making an indignant noise, she swatted his chest with the back of her hand.

“ _Copaani mirshmure'cye, vod?_ ”

“You can’t even reach.” He challenged, grinning. “ _Orikih vod’ika_.”

Iza got up from her seat so quickly that the legs of the chair scraped the floor and drew the attention of a few nearby clones. She gave a solid bump of her chest into his, prompting Anakin to grab her by the arms and pull her back.

“ _Whoa!_ ” Startled, he dragged her back a few feet and blinked. “Iza, what the hell?”

“It’s fine,” Catcher laughed, holding his hands up. “This is just… we do this all the time. We’re not going to hurt each other. Soldier stuff.”

“She’s not a…” Anakin stopped himself, letting out a sigh. He knew how seriously Iza took her role as a General. He also knew how much she disliked it when someone said she wasn’t a soldier. After their conversation last night, he didn’t want to be one of those people. “She’s not a fair fighter.”

“Bantha shit,” Iza scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Catcher and I scrap all the time and I never use the Force on him.”

“You _fight_ your Commander?”

“Only when he gets cheeky,” the brunette folded her arms and eyed the grinning clone. “Which is about ninety percent of the time.”

“I let you win.” Catcher’s grin softened into a simple smile. “I’d feel bad if I hurt you.”

“Mm,” pursing her lips, Iza rolled her eyes and gave a tiny wave of her hand. “Get out of here, Catch. Go get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

The clone gave a light nod of his head, still smiling, and saluted. He flicked his gaze to Anakin for a quick second before turning and disappearing into the crowd. When he was gone, Iza sank back against Anakin’s chest and half snuggled into it, surprising the taller Jedi. He wound his arms around her shoulders, tentatively setting his chin on top of her head. After a moment, he spoke.

“You two had a thing, didn’t you?”

Iza let out a laugh and dropped her head forward a little, drawing her bottom lip between her teeth with a sigh.

“Can’t get anything past you,” she sighed, reaching up to run her fingers along the buckles securing the glove on his mechno arm. “Briefly. Does it bother you?”

“Are you still sleeping with him?”

“Not currently, no.”

“Then no, it doesn’t.” He tightened his hold on her, dipping his head to kiss her shoulder. “We should get you something to eat, sweetness.”

“I’m not really dressed for a fancy dinner, Ani,” Iza tilted her head to rest it against his.

“Night market’s open for a few more hours,” his fingers toyed with the neckline of her top, sliding under it to brush the soft swell of her breast beneath it. Making a soft sound, Iza turned and pressed her forehead to his cheek, squeezing his wrist.

“Anakin,”

“I booked that room, too,” he shifted around and kissed at her temple, working his way to her ear to nip at it. His fingers slid further beneath the fabric, toying with her nipple until she squirmed and brought her hands up to hide his actions from view. The last thing they needed was the entire bar watching him feel her up. “Let me make up for this, Iza. Please?”

How the hell was she supposed to say no?

“Let’s go,” discreetly brushing his hand away from her chest, Iza picked her shirt up from the table and hung it from her belt again, sliding her jacket on. Behind her, Anakin kept a hand planted to her lower back and began to guide her out of the bar. Iza felt herself sober even more once they were outside and she allowed him to steer her towards where he’d parked his speeder bike. She let him mount up first, climbing onto the back and wrapping her arms around his middle. As he pulled out into the traffic, she nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck and sighed heavily. She knew she shouldn’t let him get away with hurting her feelings like this. She shouldn’t have let any of this stuff slide, honestly. But Iza’s heart wanted so badly to be close to his that she was willing to forgive him for almost anything. She just hoped that he would eventually _stop_ playing this weird hot and cold game with her. She really wasn’t sure how much more of it she could take.


	4. I Shoulda Known Once You Bit Twice

Iza sighed a little as she lay sprawled along the dingy sofa in the room Anakin had secured for them, occasionally dipping her fingers in the cup of sweet and spicy sauce that had come with her dinner and sucking it off. Anakin had jumped in the shower, claiming that he was grimy from the light bit of backup he’d done when picking Obi-Wan up. She hadn’t objected. It gave her time to concentrate on sobering up further and to eat without worrying that she was going to be judged for eating with her hands. Most of the Jedi at the Temple hated that habit of hers. Anakin seemed indifferent, but she’d noticed him watching her the night before. It tended to make her uncomfortable enough to the point where she just _didn’t_ want to eat and she had a feeling that she’d only get lectured if she didn’t get something into her to soak up the remaining alcohol.

“Do you have to do that?”

Jerked out of her near-meditative state, Iza looked to the doorway of the washroom to find Anakin standing in just his trousers, watching her. At first, all she could really concentrate on was the sight of him without the top layers of his robes. For someone who seemed so lean, he was built _beautifully_. It was quite unfair, really. Just looking at him made something hot pool in her belly and she almost groaned aloud as her eyes trailed over his form, admiring every cut line of muscle and the way his trousers hung low on his narrow hips. She barely noticed she was practically chewing at her fingertips as she watched little droplets of water fall from his hair and trickle over his shoulders. She found herself wanting to lick them off. He needed to not be so far away.

“Do what?” She asked finally when she was able to unstick her tongue from the roof of her mouth. Anakin propped his fingers against his hips and shot her a knowing look. Oh yeah—he’d seen her staring and he’d definitely caught on to how long it’d taken her brain to form a response. A brow went up and was followed by one of those sly smiles of his and Iza actually _whined_. Thankfully, it seemed as though he didn’t hear it.

“ _That_.” The younger Jedi pointed to the fingers she had shoved in her mouth coming over to take up a spot at the other end of the sofa. Iza just looked at him for a long minute before blinking and shaking herself out of her daze before pulling her hand away from her mouth, shrugging.

“How else am I supposed to eat the rest of this?” Holding up the tiny cup, she mindlessly dipped her fingers into it again and brought them to her lips. Grumbling when a bit of the syrupy sauce managed to get on her chin before she could get it into her mouth, she wiped it with her thumb and licked that clean too. She heard a rush of breath at the end of the couch and caught Anakin staring at her with something hot and fiery in his pretty blue eyes. “You okay?”

“You’re _rude_ , sweetness,” he shook his head at her, laughing breathlessly as he turned away and ran his fingers through his wet hair.

“You’re one to talk,” she muttered back, peering down in the cup before going back in for another dip.

“Beg pardon?”

Iza glanced at him, giving him a blatant once over, and grunted before she went back to what she was doing. She felt the sofa dip and drew in a sharp breath as he slowly crawled over her, sliding a knee between hers as he braced a hand beside her head on the arm of the couch. The cold drip of water against her skin had her looking up to find him gazing down at her with that hot look. Anakin said nothing as he lifted her fingers from the cup and eased them into his mouth, sucking lightly and appearing to smile when she clamped her legs against his thigh when she tried to squeeze them together. He remained silent when he released her, taking the cup from her to set it aside before leaning in like he was going to kiss her. Instead, he licked the spot on her chin where she’d missed some of the sticky substance and Iza shivered.

“ _Stars above_ ,” she breathed, gasping when he shifted again and tucked his thigh up against her. “ _Anakin_ ,”

“I didn’t know you liked spicy things,” he bracketed the other side of her head with his arm, bowing to draw her bottom lip between his lips and suck teasingly. “That actually tingles a bit.”

 _Yeah, it really fucking did_.

“You’re horrible,” the brunette swallowed hard and tried to steady her breathing, tentatively bringing her hands up to run her fingers along the planes of his chest. His skin was still very damp and she could smell the cheap soap and shampoo the motel provided wafting off of him. It was quite possibly the most intoxicating thing she’d ever smelled in her life. Sliding her fingertips up to his broad shoulders, she caught sight of a few more of those stray water droplets as they hit his skin. Giving him a look, she leaned up and swept them away with her tongue, hearing him let out another one of those heavy breaths. The sofa creaked beneath their combined weight when Anakin moved above her again and Iza whimpered when he lowered his body onto hers, making him freeze.

“Am I too heavy?” He searched her face for any signs of true discomfort and she shook her head, curling her fingers around the back of his neck to play with his hair.

“Not at all,” she smiled and tipped her head up, nuzzling her nose against his. Satisfied with this, he returned her smile and carefully continued to lower himself onto her, letting out a low growl at the way she dragged her nails over his scalp.

“You still drunk, sweetness?” What a weird question.

“No,” Iza shook her head, pressing a light kiss to his lips. “I promise,”

Thankfully, Anakin didn’t seem to need any further reassurance. Leaning in, he stole several soft kisses that turned into deeper, harder ones. Iza couldn’t help noticing that the sweet sauce tasted even better on his tongue. Drawing it into her mouth, she sucked until he groaned at her and rocked his hips into her, pressing a very impressive erection against her belly. Squirming under him, she whimpered into his mouth as she rubbed up against the thigh he still had tucked between her legs, hands pawing down his sides to grasp his hips. Anakin made an amused sound and Iza felt him tuck that thigh even closer, nudging it into her until a moan gusted past her lips and she turned to hide her face against his shoulder. She squeezed her legs as much as she could to stem the urge to keep moving her hips. Grinding on him like this felt like such a _desperate_ thing to do. She didn’t want him thinking she couldn’t wait. Above her he buried his mouth against her neck, growling quietly and reaching down to pull her in tighter, encouraging her to continue moving on him.

“Don’t stop now, sweetness,” he murmured in her ear, sliding his hand beneath the thin fabric of her under shirt. “Keep going.”

“ _Anakin_ ,” Iza didn’t know how else to respond to that. The first little pinch of fingers to her nipple caused her hips to jerk slightly, which—in turn—made her moan and tentatively rock against him again. It was not long before she was pulling at him and whimpering into his shoulder as she shamelessly rolled her hips. He only continued to encourage her, whispering filth in her ear as he marked up her skin and played with her nipple until it ached with sensation. Despite how hot her belly was burning, it wasn’t enough. Giving a frustrated whine, the brunette huffed and thumped her head back against the arm of the sofa, watching as Anakin picked his head up to look at her. He only eyed her a moment before shifting the position of his leg back, the hand beneath her shirt sliding down over her belly. He popped the button closures of her trousers and bowed his head to kiss her as he tucked his hand down the front of them, growling into her mouth when his fingertips passed over the damp fabric of her panties.

“ _Fuck_ , Iza,” he was almost too eager to get his hand beneath them, eyes lighting up when he dipped his fingers between the slick folds of her sex. “ _Really_ , sweetness? From a little bit of foreplay?”

She would have told him off had he not started rubbing circles around her clit. Instead, Iza let out a heavy moan and arched up into the touch, turning away and bringing her hand up to hide her face as her breathing quickened and the muscles of her abdomen began shivering hard. She heard him snicker and felt him pepper kisses over her forehead, his free hand shifting to brush hers out of the way.

“Don’t hide from me,” he whispered, trailing his mouth down her neck. Adding a bit more pressure behind the passes of his fingers, Anakin groaned when Iza grabbed for his wrist and pleaded softly in his ear. Tucking his hand in further, he eased two fingers into her and breathed out a harsh breath as the brunette dragged her nails over his skin. He kept the pace slow, grinding the ball of his hand against her until Iza bucked her hips up from the sofa and smothered her cry of release against his shoulder. Growling at the way she tightened around his fingers, the younger Jedi pressed them deeper, curled them to find that wickedly sensitive spot inside of her and plying gently until Iza shouted again and twisted beneath him. “That’s it, sweetness. _Again_ ,”

Iza couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think straight. The only sounds she could make were strangled whimpers and moans and as much as she wanted to push him away— _she couldn’t_. Instead, she pushed against the back of the sofa and grabbed at his shoulder, digging the heels of her feet into the cushions as she worked her hips into the press of his fingers and wheezed frantically as that burning pressure built in her belly a second time. There were stars in her eyes that blinded her when they exploded and she worried for a moment that someone might hear her when she sobbed out and tensed so hard that her back bowed up from the sofa. Anakin’s mouth was hot on her skin when he started kissing at her neck and she swore she heard him demand a third orgasm from her. She shook her head, trying to close her legs. She couldn’t. There was no way. She felt his breath gust over her tits before his lips closed around the sensitive tip of one, hollered as the pad of his thumb began circling her clit. She clutched the sofa so hard that her fingers started to hurt. There was nothing but the raw sensation of pleasure running through her. The third climax hit her without warning and she begged him to stop, thumping a palm against his shoulder while tugging his hair with her other hand. _Thankfully_ , he began to slow the motions of his fingers, eventually withdrawing them from her entirely.

 _Fuck_ , she felt so weak. She could hear the wet sound of him sucking his fingers and the deep rumble of a chuckle, but Iza couldn’t see past the tears that had gathered in her eyes. _Too much_. She was pretty sure she’d never experienced anything like that in her life and while a big part of her was fucking grateful for his generosity, she felt oddly vulnerable and shaky beneath it.

“Iza?” Anakin sounded concerned, suddenly. The soft brush of leather-clad fingers against her cheek made her flinch but she leaned into the touch anyway, shutting her eyes with a quiet whimper. She heard him whisper a soft curse before he kissed her forehead. The sudden loss of his body weight made her shout in dismay and reach out for him, only to have him quickly gather her against his chest and pull her over him as he settled onto his back along the sofa. “Shhhh, sweetness, it’s all right.”

Curling into his chest, Iza buried her face in his neck and tried to ground herself. The way he rubbed his fingers against the back of her neck helped a little, but it was the heavy warmth of his arms around her that comforted her the most. Anakin murmured soft things to her and occasionally kissed the side of her head, nuzzling affectionately at her hairline and her ear as he waited patiently for her to come down. When she was finally able to do more than shiver and whine in his arms, Iza leaned back to look at him and found him gazing at her curiously.

“Are you all right?” He asked, brows going up in concern. She nodded, tipping her head forward to rest it against his. Anakin sighed, seemingly relieved. “I’m sorry, sweetness. I got carried away.”

She laughed weakly. She couldn’t help it.

“You’ve always been good with your hands, haven’t you?”

Anakin made a funny noise as all the air rushed out of him. A startled sort of chuckle followed and he shook his head at her when he pulled back to stare at her.

“ _That’s_ the first thing you say to me?” He looked amused, if not a little surprised. “ _Force_ , Iza.”

“I could say _thank you_ , but that sounds weird to me.” She shrugged and shifted around in his arms, resting her head on his shoulder. She was suddenly made aware of the fact that he was still _very_ hard when she felt him pressing into her belly again. Unable to help glancing down, she pursed her lips and lightly rubbed a hand across his chest. “Besides, _showing_ gratitude is better than just voicing it.”

“I’m patient,” blue eyes dropped to watch the movements of her hand and Iza was sure that if she were to try and move it lower, he’d probably snatch it. She was half tempted to test this theory. “Don’t you dare,”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re still shivering, Iza,” Anakin gave a pointed look and bowed his head to rest it against hers. “We have all night. There’s no need to rush _anything_.”

“Can we at least move to the bed? This sofa is a little cramped.”

He looked at her skeptically for a moment, poking his tongue into his cheek. And then he was sighing and nodding slowly.

“Yeah, it is a bit on the small side, isn’t it?”

“I don’t think it was meant for two people.”

“Perhaps not like this, no,” chuckling, he kissed her forehead and sat up with a grunt, holding tight to her while he got his bearings and stood up slowly with her in his arms. Surprised, Iza slid her arms around his neck, but didn’t complain as he carried her over to the bed and settled her down on top of it. Dropping down beside her, he smiled and hauled her back against his chest, letting out a pleased sounding growl when Iza nestled into him. “Better?”

“Much,”

“Good.” Anakin planted another kiss to her forehead and seemed absolutely content to simply lie there and cuddle with her. Occasionally, they’d trade a kiss or two or run their fingertips along a bit of bared skin, but no one seemed to be in any hurry to start rolling around in the sheets. It was nice. Not something Iza was _used_ to, but nice all the same. Catcher was cuddly when he wanted to be, but she didn’t go to him for affection. Besides, this felt _different_. This felt like she could just sink into him and stay here forever and be happy about it. He was so warm and smelled so nice and his touch was not at all demanding as he moved his hand in slow passes over her hip. He seemed just as content to sit with her like this. It made something in her chest swell and ache a little bit and she let out a quiet, shivery breath without meaning to, turning to press her face against his shoulder in hopes of hiding it from him.

“Iza?” _No such luck_.

“I’m fine,” she swallowed, thankful that she hadn’t actually started to cry. She’d had enough of that for one night. “I promise,”

His fingers combed through the loose bits of her hair, sliding down the side of her neck. It made her shiver and let out a tiny grunt. When she trusted herself enough, Iza lifted her head to look at him and found Anakin gazing at her curiously. She couldn’t tell if he was worried or not. The light brush of his knuckles against her cheek had her leaning into the touch without hesitation and she turned to kiss his hand. Catching sight of the surprised expression that flittered across his face briefly, the brunette tipped her head curiously. Surely he couldn’t be _that_ shocked by the display of affection? Not after how sweetly he’d been behaving with her? Or, maybe he was. Maybe he was still under the impression that this was _just sex_. Maybe that’s all it was supposed to be. It was what she’d offered, wasn’t it? _Just sex_. Iza couldn’t fool herself into thinking that anything had changed overnight just because he’d agreed to do this a second time. Hell, it was probably all her fault that he’d decided to do it a second time anyway. She’d probably guilted him into it somehow by allowing herself to be vulnerable enough to show him how upset his hot and cold nature made her. _Fuck_.

“What’s wrong?” This was the problem with sleeping with someone who was Force Sensitive. They always _knew_ when you were conflicted. At least she’d been able to hide her shit from Catcher.

“Nothing,” he’d know it was a lie. She only hoped he wouldn’t question her too much. “Just thinking.”

Anakin frowned and touched her face again, blue eyes appearing to search for something. Iza could practically feel him poking around in the Force for answers. She didn’t know if he’d be able to find them, but she did her best not to project anything too damning. After a few moments, he paused and lowered his gaze, brows knitting together in thought.

“Are you still upset with me?” He asked, looking back at her.

“What?” Iza blinked and shook her head. “No—that’s… Anakin, I wasn’t upset. I was overwhelmed. I’m just _thinking_ too much. It isn’t you.”

“You feel upset, sweetness,”

“ _Not with you_ , Anakin,”

“What is it, then?” He pulled her in tighter, running a soothing hand along her leg. “What’s got you so bothered?”

Iza didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t sure if she ought to tell him outright that she felt like she’d conned him into doing this a second time. If she was wrong, she might ruin the entire mood of the evening and she felt she was already well on the way to doing that with her current behavior. But lying to him felt wrong. It felt _worse_ than possibly finding out that he didn’t actually want to be here. Drawing her bottom lip between her teeth, she studied him for a moment and reached to play with the piece of his hair that had fallen across his cheek. Twisting it lightly, she let it go and gently raked her nails back into his hair, admiring how soft the drying curls felt between her fingers. _Stars_ , he was handsome. His eyes were so pretty. She almost forgot she was supposed to be answering a question. Only when he raised an eyebrow and gave a pointed, near impatient look did she remember that he’d asked her something.

“Do you feel as though I’ve forced your hand?” She asked quietly, moving her fingers through his hair to play with the bits at the back of his neck.

“Forced my hand?” Anakin blinked, confused. Taking a breath, Iza tried again.

“You _want_ to be here, right?”

“Iza,” he laughed nervously, like he wasn’t sure if she was serious or not. When her worried expression did not change, Anakin nudged his knuckles beneath her chin and lightly stroked her jawline with a finger. “Sweetness, if I didn’t want to be here, I wouldn’t be here.” His smile was a little awkward and unsure as he eyed her. “What makes you think I don’t want to be here?”

“Nothing,” Iza shrugged and lowered her gaze, distracting herself by tracing the hollows of his collarbone. “I guess I just got worried that my… behavior might have twisted your arm a little.”

“I think you might still be dazed, sweetness,” chuckling, he leaned in and kissed her forehead, nuzzling her hairline. “You’re overthinking this.”

“We haven’t hung out in _so_ long, Anakin,” chewing her bottom lip, she frowned. “You were not very warm to me last night until after we got back to base. You went back and forth between being sweet and… _I don’t know_. Cold? And now it’s almost like it was before you stopped talking to me. You’re back to being _nice_ and _warm_ with me. _I’m confused_. I don’t know what to think or how to feel. Are you going to wake up tomorrow when we’re done and decide twice was enough? You’ve had your fill and you’re ready to go back to business? I can handle casual sex, Anakin—but you need to tell me what page you’re on so I can be there too.”

The younger Jedi went quiet and Iza knew she should’ve just kept her damn mouth shut. Maybe he was right. Maybe she _was_ still too dazed to have this conversation. Whatever the hell was the case, she’d just fucked everything up and she knew it. _Force_ , she could already feel her heart dropping into her stomach as ice began seeping into her veins, chilling her and tightening up her throat. She knew she’d be sick the moment he said anything to her. She would either be sick or she’d start crying again. It was all a fucking nightmare and it was _her_ fault. She should have just lied to him. Hearing the way he took a deep breath like he was getting ready to say something she wasn’t going to like, Iza rolled away from him and started to get up from the bed.

His hands were gentle when he took hold of her waist and pulled her back, arms winding around her tight to keep her from getting up again. He didn’t say anything. He just settled his head against hers and held her, idly rubbing his thumbs along her sides. If Iza were to look, she’d see that he appeared to be deep in thought. Why he needed to cling to her in order to do this, she didn’t know. But it seemed easier not to try and move away again. After a while, he turned and kissed the side of her head, letting his lips linger as he shut his eyes and breathed a heavy sigh into her hair.

“I miss this,” he said quietly, sounding a little nervous as he spoke. “I miss being near you. It’s just been so long, Iza. I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was toying with you. I just… I don’t know what I was doing, truthfully. I still don’t.”

“Will you be honest with me about something?”

“Of course,”

“Did you agree to this because it was free sex or because it was sex with _me?_ ”

Anakin let out a loud bark of laughter that died down quickly like realization was washing over him. He stared straight ahead blindly, an odd look crossing his face. After a minute or so, he licked his bottom lip and blew out a breath.

“Because it was sex with you.” The way he said it was strange, almost like he’d surprised himself. Then he was shaking his head and tucking it against her shoulder, squeezing her middle even tighter. “But it’s not just _sex_ , Iza. You’ve always made me feel… wanted? I think that’s the word. Even when you’d get angry at me for doing stupid things, you still snuck out and made sure I got back in one piece. You lied for me. You did things you knew your master would disapprove of for me. I never understood why and—considering Master Windu is not my biggest fan—sometimes I still don’t.”

“You were my friend, Anakin,” Iza whispered, leaning back into him until she could feel his heart thudding against her spine. “I cared very deeply for you. When the war started, I told myself that we would at least have each other, if nothing else.” There was no use. She was going to cry whether she wanted to or not. She could already feel the tears getting ready to trickle down her cheeks. “But you pulled away so suddenly. It was like… it was like I’d done something wrong, but I did not know _what_. You would not talk to me. You _have not_ spoken to me at length for so long, Anakin. If it’s not about _battles_ or relief missions, I can’t get your attention for more than five minutes. I tried. Believe me, I tried.”

“Iza—”

“I didn’t understand how you could care for someone the way I thought you cared for me, and then just decide that they were not important anymore. We are Jedi, but we are not _heartless_. _You_ are not heartless.” Swallowing hard, the brunette turned and tucked her head against his arm, frowning hard. “I decided that if you did not care anymore, then I didn’t care either. I put focus into the squad. Into Catcher and the war. I truly should have died the day we were ambushed. I got angry with Master Obi-Wan for interfering.” Her smile was tight and watery and she could feel the sharp intake of breath Anakin took behind her. “I got angry because it was not you. Because he had been on the other side of the galaxy and come to help but you— _you_ were around the corner and did nothing. I was fed some excuse about the senator. That you had been instructed not to part from her for her safety, but even Master Obi-Wan seemed irritated by those orders.”

“Sweetness,” Anakin nestled his head against hers and held her so tight it was hard to breathe. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know how bad it was until I saw Obi-Wan. He was furious. Not outwardly. You know how he is. I couldn’t tell which one of us he was more upset with.” He let out a dry laugh. “ _She’s turning into **you**._ That’s what he said to me. I didn’t… I didn’t get it at first. Not until I heard talk about how this wasn’t the first time you’d done something so reckless. It was just the first time you’d been put out of commission.”

“It was just broken bones.”

“Iza,” the younger Jedi turned her over in his arms and stared at her in disbelief. Reaching up, he traced the right side of her face with a fingertip, skimming lightly over the scar she wore on her cheek. “You had your face shattered. That is hardly just _broken bones_.”

“I threw myself off of a moving speeder bike for you,” pulling away from the touch, Iza worked her jaw. “What makes you think I wouldn’t attack a commando droid trying to kill my Commander?”

“You’re _nuts_ , Iza.”

“No,” she shook her head and scoffed, looking away. “I just… care too much sometimes. Even when I shouldn’t. Even when someone does not care for me in return.”

“I never meant to make you feel like I didn’t care for you anymore.” Anakin threaded his fingers into her hair and leaned in to kiss her forehead, shutting his eyes. “I should have come to see you.”

“You had duties. A Padawan. You are much higher up on the military chain than I am.” Iza shook her head as much as she could as she listed off all of the excuses she could think of. “You had more important things to deal with. We are not supposed to drop everything to make _visits_.”

“Did… did I make you feel unimportant?” He’d pulled back so suddenly to look at her, blue eyes full of intense worry. She didn’t know how to respond without making him feel guiltier than he already did. Evidently, she did not need to say anything at all. The look in Anakin’s eyes softened and he briefly curled his fingers in her hair before dragging her against his chest and holding her tight enough to stifle her breathing. She heard him swear quietly and felt the brush of his mouth on her face, scattering kisses wherever it could reach. “I’m sorry. I’m _so_ sorry, Iza.”

“You do not need to apologize,” it hurt to say it, but she knew it was the _right_ thing to say. He owed her nothing, after all. Anakin had only done what he had been taught to do— _let go_. It was Iza who’d had trouble relinquishing her hold. “I should not even be saying these things to you. I just… my heart is so confused, Anakin. How did we end up here?”

“I don’t know,” there was something about that statement that didn’t feel entirely truthful, but Iza was too emotionally worn to question him. After a moment, he let out a soft laugh and shrugged. “You wanted food.”

Iza had to cover her face to keep from outright laughing into his, shutting her eyes and sighing so heavily that it came out more like a whine. The soft kiss he planted to her hairline drew a proper whimper from her throat and the brunette slid an arm around him before snuggling closer, tucking her head beneath his chin.

“I wanted _company_ ,” she murmured. “And you… you seemed to be in such a sour mood. I thought perhaps it might lift your spirits if we went together.”

“And the milkshake?” She could practically sense the smirk on his face. “What was that about?”

“I didn’t think you’d take it seriously,” Iza played with a particularly curly bit of Anakin’s hair, trying to distract herself. “You seemed so offended by the offer anyway, so I just assumed that was that. But when you told me I could order it… it brought back… a lot of things. Feelings.”

Silence stretched between them for a few moments before Iza cleared her throat and spoke again.

“I did not offer just because I needed to get laid, Ani,” she tipped her head back to look at him, running her fingers along his jaw. “I have missed you so much. I didn’t know how else to get your attention.”

“Well, you got it,” he smiled faintly, laughing lightly. “You had it when you did that stupid pouting thing you do when you can’t have your way. I can’t believe you _still_ do that.”

“It only works on a select few people.” Iza shrugged, fighting a grin.

“Why do I feel like your Commander is one of those people?”

“Because he is.” She didn’t want to bring him into this conversation right now. “Even Master Obi-Wan has fallen victim to it a few times.”

“ _You’re joking?_ ”

“I think he indulged me because I was upset at the time,” chewing her tongue, the brunette avoided his gaze.

“He has always had a soft spot for you,” Anakin snorted, pursing his lips as he brushed the hair off her face. “And it’s hard to ignore you when you make that face, you know. I can think of at least three different instances when you twisted my arm without even trying just by giving me those dumb puppy eyes of yours.”

“You used to make the same stupid face,” Iza scrunched her nose, giving a tug to the curl she’d been playing with. “When we would sneak out, if I got hesitant you’d get real close and make sweet eyes at me and nudge me with your _aww, come on, sweetness. I won’t let anything happen to you._ You were so dumb.”

“It worked, didn’t it?” The younger Jedi grinned wide. “And I never _did_ let anything happen, did I?”

“No, you didn’t,” sighing softly, she tilted her head forward to rest it against his again. “You were always really good at protecting me. It should have been the other way around.”

“Why? Because you’re older?”

Iza nodded, gathering more of his hair between her fingers.

“Well, I was _taller_ ,” Anakin teased, smirking when she shot him a look. Letting out an amused hum, he peppered kisses across her forehead and along her brow. “You took care of me plenty, sweetness. Even when you didn’t have to.”

“ _Someone_ had to.” Iza felt like she couldn’t get close enough. They’d tangled their legs together and she’d pulled him half on top of her at this point, but she still felt like there wasn’t enough contact. “Like when you got into that fight with the drunks outside of Moshi.”

“You mean when _you_ got the black eye because you ran into that guy’s elbow trying to pull him off me?”

“It didn’t hurt.”

“Iza, he was twice your size and probably three times your body weight.” Anakin made a face. “His elbow was already the size of your head.”

“I put him down, didn’t I?” Rolling onto her back, she hauled him over her and relaxed some as his body weight pressed her into the mattress. _There_ ; this felt a little better. Raking her fingers through Anakin’s hair again, she smiled and dropped a kiss to the end of his nose. “You were trouble, Skywalker. But you made things fun.”

He smiled at her in a way that made her whole chest warm and the kiss he pressed to her lips caused her belly to flutter so much that she giggled. He curled his hands around her shoulders, humming thoughtfully when he settled his forehead to hers.

“What’s that face for?” Iza asked quietly, nuzzling his cheek.

“Nothing. Just thinking.”

“I _thought_ I smelled something burning,” grinning slowly, the brunette let out a squeal of laughter when Anakin pinched and tickled her sides, tucking her face in the crook of his neck.

“ _Rude_ ,” he chuckled, shaking his head.

“What were you thinking about?” Iza pressed soft little kisses against his skin, trailing her fingers up and down his back in slow passes. The deep breath he took gently pushed her deeper into the mattress and she smiled when he tangled his fingers into her hair and brushed his mouth against the side of her head.

“It’s not important,” his tone had changed slightly. He sounded far away, like he had somehow gotten himself lost in whatever these thoughts were. As much as she wanted to pry, Iza felt like it wasn’t her business to do so unless he made it her business. Still, she couldn’t help _wondering_ what had made his mood shift like that. It didn’t matter after a moment or so because he’d started kissing at her ear and making his way down her neck, a soft groan rumbling in his chest as he went. “You used to put such awful thoughts in my head. Did you know that?”

“No…” Iza suddenly didn’t care about whatever it was he’d been thinking about anymore. Tilting her head for him when he found just the right spot to tease with his teeth, she shifted beneath him and let him tuck his hips between her thighs.

“I caught you bathing once,” he breathed an almost embarrassed chuckle against her skin and let his fingers trail down her arm. “When we were on that stupid backwater planet with Obi-Wan and your master where we weren’t allowed to stay in the village. I didn’t mean to. It just happened.”

“I feel like you’re not about to tell me you covered your eyes in shame and walked away,” snickering, Iza chewed lightly at her bottom lip and twisted her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. “How much did you see?”

Anakin let out a flustered sound and tucked his face tight against the side of her neck, seemingly squirming in his place above her. When he didn’t immediately answer, Iza nipped the edge of his ear and gave his hair the tiniest of tugs.

“ _You looked on purpose_.”

“I didn’t,” he insisted, voice muffled. “I was trying to refill the water canteens. I didn’t know you were there.”

“But you didn’t leave either, did you?”

“You were washing your hair,” Anakin finally seemed to gain enough sense to lift his head away, though he refused to look at her. His cheeks were a little flushed and he wore the beginnings of one of his goofy smiles on his lips. “I didn’t… I didn’t see _much_. Master Obi-Wan dragged me away.”

“ _Master Obi-Wan saw?_ ” It was Iza’s turn to flush scarlet, but Anakin was quick to shake his head.

“No, he only saw me… _gawking_ , as he put it. I don’t think he realized all I could see was…” blowing out a breath, Anakin propped himself on an arm and lightly trailed the back of his hand down over her belly and along the curve of a hip. “You looked so _soft_. That’s all I kept thinking.”

“You’ve always been so obsessed with softness, Anakin,” Iza teased, trying not to shiver when he stroked his fingers back up her torso and brushed them beneath the hem of her undershirt. He shrugged nonchalantly, still keeping his gaze pointed away from hers.

“It was all I thought about last night, too,” he confessed, fingertips sliding over the swell of one of her breasts. “We haven’t been physically close in so long. I’d forgotten how hard it is to concentrate when you’re pressed up on me like you were.”

“Is that why we almost crashed?”

“No,” Anakin drawled, laughing sheepishly. “You— _uh_ —your legs…”

“What about them?” Iza tilted her head, genuinely curious. It was funny to see Anakin so quietly flustered like this. She could feel him struggling to admit these things to her, which seemed a bit _odd_ for someone who had no problem telling her how _beautiful_ she was the night before.

“You’ve gotten really strong, sweetness,” his quick glance was pointed and somewhat impressed, she decided. “I probably could have flipped us upside down on the bike and you would have been perfectly capable of keeping yourself in place.”

“It’s from wearing the armor,” now it was _her_ turn to be flustered again. “Maybe the Phys Training, but mostly the armor. I wear the same bucket gear as the rest of the troopers. It’s _not_ light.”

“Yeah—I know,” he snorted and smiled lightly. “I don’t understand how you can move in something so… clunky?”

“It’s not clunky. I have a hard time with the chestpiece sometimes because it’s _really_ not meant to be worn by females, but the armor is made for quick reactions.” Shrugging, Iza turned a hand up. “Like I said this afternoon, I like it because I can hit the dirt really hard and get back up again without losing layers of skin. I can’t do that in Jedi robes.”

“I suppose that’s fair.”

“You’ve gotten quite big, too.”

Anakin sputtered and gave a startled look, blinking as he tried to comprehend what she’d just said. He looked as though he wasn’t sure if he should laugh or accept her words as a compliment. He ended up just staring in bewilderment. Iza laughed at him, bringing him down for a gentle kiss and nudging her fingertips against his bicep.

“Look at you, Skywalker,” she hadn’t meant for her tone to get so soft. “I don’t know if you realize how… _imposing_ you’ve become, but it’s enough to make a girl’s knees weak sometimes.”

“I do not think _imposing_ is the proper term to use if it’s giving you that sort of reaction, Iza.”

“Oh—I beg to differ.” Iza grinned. “I’m a _Jedi_ , Anakin. And a soldier. Not much makes me _quiver_. But you…” smoothing her fingers along his shoulders, she tipped her head and hummed thoughtfully. “You do a pretty good job of it.”

“ _Really?_ ” The look he gave her made the fire already burning in her belly blaze much hotter and Iza felt her toes curl against the top of the mattress. “You know, you’ve always come across as a bit of a straight pin, sweetness. You’re surprising me a little bit.”

“Because I try to follow the Code?” Iza tilted her head with a light frown, unable to help the way she was breathing despite this. “Anakin, that does not make me—”

“Following the Code has nothing to do with you having a filthy mind, sweetness,” Anakin laughed, the fingers beneath her shirt giving a pinch to one of her nipples. “All I’m saying is that you’ve hidden yourself well. That’s all.”

“You rubbed off on me,” the brunette shrugged a little, biting her lip before covering the back of his hand with hers to encourage him to squeeze the breast he was palming. “I started craving more excitement after being around you for so long. Being Master Windu’s apprentice, I had to learn to conceal those things. Good to know it works.”

“ _She’s turning into **you**._” Anakin repeated the words Obi-Wan had supposedly spoken to him, letting out another quiet laugh. After a moment or so of silently continuing to play with her chest, he leaned down and kissed her deeply, groaning quietly into her mouth when she nudged her hips up into his.

“ _Cyar’ika_ ,”

“I don’t know what that means,” he teased with a chuckle, stealing tinier kisses. “But I like the way you say it.”

“I will give you a Mando’a lesson later,” Iza breathed as she ran her hands into his hair, nipping at his mouth playfully. “Right now, _this_ is all I want.”

“Me too,” he said it in such a low whisper, like he was confessing something so private and shameful that he was worried someone other than Iza might hear him say it. Again—it felt a little _off_ to her. But Iza chalked it up to him coming to terms with the idea that perhaps he’d held more of a fondness for her than just some weird teenage crush. She could relate, honestly—though she’d had more time to process her feelings. The way he looked at her made her feel a bit strange, too. Like there was something distracting him, but he was determined to try and keep as much of his focus on _her_ as possible. Such a weird man, he was. He’d always been a little on the _funny_ side, hadn’t he? Iza was so enthralled with him in that moment that she could only smile and pull him in for another kiss, humming when he finally relaxed against her and gave a slow roll of his pelvis into hers. Sliding her hands down his chest and along his sides, she wound her fingers in the material of his trousers and pulled him in tighter, nipping at the end of his chin playfully.

“ _Anakin_ ,”

“ _Stars_ , Iza,” Oh— _Force_ , she really did love the way he made those flustered sounds before he smiled at her. She liked it even more when she could feel the rumble in his chest before she actually heard him growl like he was unable to stand how she was making him feel. It gave just the right amount of warning before he rolled onto his back and snatched her by the waist to pull her on top of him, hands skimming straight up beneath the thin fabric of her undershirt once more so he could lightly paw at her back. “You sure you’re good to go, sweetness?”

“ _Are you?_ ”

“Don’t do that,” he warned with a chuckle, biting the end of his tongue. “Don’t tease, Iza,”

The brunette only smiled at him in return, hooking her fingers in the hem of her undershirt to pull it off over her head. Sitting back a little, she tilted her head as she gazed down at him, and then reached up to take her hair down and shake it out the same way she’d done the night before. He’d really seemed to enjoy seeing her with it down, she’d noticed. Iza found it a bit bothersome to not have it pulled back while being intimate with someone, but it was well worth it to watch the way Anakin’s eyes lit up as the wavy locks fell around her shoulders and spilled over her chest to frame her breasts. While he was distracted with looking her over, she slowly started to rock her hips into him, giggling when his fingertips dragged down the length of her back and caught hold of the loose waist of her slacks.

“ _Iza_ ,” he dropped his head back against the mattress with a low moan, meeting the downward press of her hips with a hard roll of his. Iza moved over him, her hair falling forward and tickling his skin. Bowing her head, she pressed tiny kisses along his chest and ground her hips harder, glancing up when he moaned louder and swore at her. “ _Fuck—_ you’re _killing_ me, sweetness.”

“Will you be gentle with me, Anakin?” Planting more kisses to his chest, Iza worked her way up to his neck and dragged her fingers in light passes along his sides. He nodded at her, breathing heavily against her ear. That was enough of an answer for her. Grazing the edges of her teeth over his jaw, Iza planted a quick kiss to his cheek and rolled off of him. She heard him let out a frustrated growl and tried not to giggle as she started easing her slacks off her hips, taking her panties with them. A gasp was torn from her throat when the younger Jedi took hold of the material and tugged them off the rest of the way, tossing them somewhere over his shoulder before he settled himself between her legs again. She had no idea when he’d had time to get his own trousers down. Looking up at him in surprise, she pursed her lips and settled her hands against his shoulders. “I said _gentle_ , Ani.”

“I’ll be gentle,” he promised, kissing her forehead. His lips brushed down the bridge of her nose and sealed over hers, swallowing the gasp she let out as he arched his hips and slowly filled her. Iza couldn’t quite concentrate on kissing him, too busy whimpering against his mouth as she dug her nails into his shoulders. He made a satisfied sound when their hips settled snugly together and he ran his fingers through her hair in slow passes, stealing more soft kisses while he waited for permission to move. Tipping her head up, Iza caught his mouth in a hungry kiss and nudged up from the bed to give him the go-ahead, sliding her arms over his shoulders to hold him to her. As promised, he kept to a slow and easy pace, spoiling her with sweet kisses and whisperings of pretty words in her ear in between the heavy puffs of breath he took. He gazed at her in a way that made Iza’s entire body warm in a way she hadn’t felt before. Like she was the only thing in the universe worth a damn to him. She knew it wasn’t entirely _true_ —but it still made her feel good.

“Anakin,” she couldn’t keep from tangling her fingers in his hair as she pushed her forehead into his, returning the affectionate gaze with a smile to match. It was on the tip of her tongue to say the words that were suddenly clouding her mind. She _couldn’t_ —she **shouldn’t**. It went against everything she stood for to admit such a thing. But hadn’t they practically admitted it to one another while lying on this bed already? Had they not quietly spelled their harbored affections out for the other to see? Iza had not even realized that her odd, sudden fondness for him had been something more intense and—frankly— _forbidden_. But now, as she teetered on the edge of losing herself to his pleasure, she had the near uncontrollable desire to let him know. She wanted him to know. She _needed_ him to know. But he could _never_ know. Not without forsaking everything they’d strived so hard to earn. She needed to keep it to herself, bottle it like she bottled every other intense emotion she’d ever felt. She could not love Anakin Skywalker. Not outwardly. Not if she wanted to continue down her path as a Jedi.

Carefully, she wrapped her arms around his head, gathering his hair into her fists while she planted her face against the side of his neck to hide the way it had started to redden. She called to him—heard him call out in return. Iza held tight to him long after he’d settled against her chest, breathing harshly against her ear. She did not want to let go, didn’t want him to see her this way. His fingers were gentle when they cupped the back of her head and his mouth was full of nothing but lovely praise for her as he turned onto his back and took her with him, draping her across his chest. Still, Iza clung on, not trusting for a second that he wouldn’t see her struggling to fight back these unfair feelings.

“Sweetness?” His hands were so warm when they moved along the length of her back. “Are you all right?”

“Mm,” she nodded, giving a light rub of her fingers against his scalp as though that was going to prove anything.

“Will you look at me for a minute?”

Iza hesitated. After a moment or so of making sure she wasn’t going to give herself away, she picked her head up and looked at him. His blue eyes were soft and still full of that adoring gleam, but he also seemed concerned. He searched her face silently, cupping her cheek and tilting his head curiously. She could feel him reaching around in the Force. He wouldn’t find anything. She’d smothered all of the damning evidence and shoved it where he wouldn’t be able to see it without her express permission. Giving a tut, he picked his head up and kissed her.

“Let’s get some sleep,” it wasn’t what she’d expected him to say. It didn’t sound like it was what he’d _wanted_ to say, either. She must’ve given him an odd look because the next thing she knew, he was giving her one of his sweet little smiles and nuzzling at her cheek with a quiet laugh. “We have _all night_ , Iza. Let’s just get a nap in, okay? I think you need to sleep off what’s left of the alcohol in your system.”

Maybe he was right. Maybe she was just emotionally sensitive because of all the damn alcohol she’d imbibed. She’d done her best to sober up—she really had. But even her Jedi abilities couldn’t take away _all_ of the effects. After a moment or so of just looking at him, she nodded and leaned down to draw him in for a slow, deep kiss. Iza lost herself in him for a while and Anakin seemed content to do the same. When he finally chuckled and pulled back from her, she knew he was going to urge her to rest again. He didn’t verbally nudge her. He simply gathered her into his arms and wrapped them up in the blanket as much as he could, breathing a content sigh into her hair.

It would take a long time before she could finally fall asleep.


	5. I'm An Asshole, Baby

The rest of the week seemed to pass by at an easy pace for Anakin. He found himself so caught up in his daily tasks and his budding nightly ritualistic meetup with Iza that he found he’d hardly had time to miss his wife at all. It was a revelation that probably _should_ have worried him more than it did. Truthfully, it just angered him. At first, he was not quite sure where to point that anger. He knew he ought to be upset with _himself_ for seeking solace in someone who was not Padme and for only feeling meager shreds of guilt for having been so comfortable in Iza’s arms, but he was more upset with his wife for even putting him in this position in the first place. Had she not decided to go on her sudden _retreat_ and leave him with ruined plans and an empty bed, then perhaps none of this would have happened. But then _that_ thought angered him even further. Because he did not regret that he’d been given the chance to reconnect with Iza. They’d fallen back into step with each other so easily that it was almost as though nothing had happened to drive them apart _at all_. Already they were throwing harmless jokes at one another and making jesting snide comments that were meant to make the other bristle, but they were also being so _shamelessly_ intimate in the privacy of any hidden corner they could find. Anakin had found that he really enjoyed having her within arm’s reach, ready to curl into his side and shower him with kisses and sweet words whenever they were needed.

This was not like his marriage where _schedules_ and _secret meetings_ were a necessity. When he’d felt troubled by something the day prior and he’d momentarily let himself show light distress, he had not needed to _wait_ to find comfort. _Comfort_ had been waiting for him in a maintenance closet on the cruiser, ready to pillow his head on a soft shoulder and cradle him until he was no longer anxious. He still had not even heard from Padme since returning to active duty, and not for lack of trying. He’d left a message with Threepio, but that was the extent of the effort he was willing to make at this point. Until Padme could find time for him, he did not see any reason to go out of his way for her. Perhaps it was a selfish gesture on his part, but he felt she’d been very selfish with her decision to just leave and not tell him that she was going anywhere when she’d _known_ that he would be home without interruptions. He cared very little for the fact that she was a Senator sometimes, and he knew **that** was selfish too. He would never ask her to put aside her work for pleasure, just as she would never ask the same of him. But when plans were continually broken and there was no communication between them at all—he could not help having such thoughts. Perhaps the next time he was back on Coruscant, their schedules would align properly and he would be allowed to finally visit her again. Maybe then they would be able to discuss these things. Until then, he was perfectly content to keep Iza at his side. At least she did not abandon him without warning.

“General Skywalker,”

 _Rex_. The clone Captain had been silently observing his behavior with Iza and Anakin knew it. He couldn’t help feeling as though he were being judged for it, too. Couldn’t this man understand that he had _needs?_ Maybe it was unethical to actively seek them out, but Anakin felt it was also unethical for a wife to _disappear_ and leave her husband behind. For all he knew, Padme had gone and done the same thing. This was one of the things that continued to fuel his desire to continue this charade with Iza. The thought of enacting some sort of premature revenge on his wife made him feel much better about everything. However, Rex’s judgmental looks whenever he’d pass in the corridor with Iza at his side slowly chipped away at these feelings of superiority and let the guilt pool in from the cracks. He knew it was wrong of him to do this. He knew he ought to care more. Sometimes he did. But being around Iza made it much harder to care about these awful things for long.

“Rex,” nodding to the other man as he stepped up beside the holo console, Anakin ignored the way Rex eyed him silently and gestured to the map displayed in front of them. “This is the area we’re heading to. We’ll be stationed on this outer edge here and General Tacor and the Stars will be off on the far left for support.”

“Is that wise, sir?”

Anakin lowered the hand that had been pointing out the aforementioned areas and he turned in his spot to stare at the blond, brows knit together hard enough to form a deep crease between them.

“Pardon me?”

“Is it wise to station them that close to the Seppie base, sir?” Rex gave Anakin an odd look and appeared to lean away slightly. “With all due respect, General Tacor is not known for providing _support_. She tends to try and lead the charge.”

The Jedi didn’t bother trying to save face. He only turned back to the map and folded his arms over his chest, frowning as Rex’s words sank in. The man had a point. Iza did not like being anywhere but the frontlines. If he positioned her too close to the enemy base, she’d likely get impatient and try to rush in without waiting for any sort of signal or backup. She’d done similar things in the past. Rubbing at his chin, Anakin frowned harder, trying to come up with a solution that wouldn’t have the older woman throwing a fit over the tactical plans. He could offer to merge the companies, but she’d likely shoot it down. The Stars were pretty independent men. They followed their General’s orders and supported her idea of only asking for help when it was absolutely necessary. It was _rare_ to receive a call for backup from them.

“Sir, might I suggest—”

“She won’t agree to staying behind,” shaking his head, Anakin sighed and idly spun the map like it might help inspire an idea. “ _Stars_ , why didn’t I think about this beforehand?”

“Sir,” Rex pressed his lips together in a thin line, giving his General a sidelong glance. “Maybe an ambush isn’t a terrible idea.”

“An ambush?”

“Well,” stepping up to the console, Rex stilled the map and pointed. “They’ll likely be expecting a frontal attack from our general position. If we send in General Tacor’s troops first, we may be able to blindside them and then sweep up from the front as planned.”

Anakin stared at the map, silently mulling this over. He didn’t like it. It was risky and reckless. It was also not a terrible idea at all. It bothered him that his gut didn’t like the idea of letting Iza strike first. Not because he thought her men couldn’t handle the task, but because he didn’t want her running in and getting herself hurt. She could handle herself. He knew she could handle herself. He’d seen enough holo-cam footage of her on the battleground to know she was a force to be reckoned with when she got into the right headspace. Still—there was _something_ about this that made him uneasy.

“I’ll talk to her. See if she doesn’t have anything to add to it.” Turning, he gave Rex a hard pat on the shoulder. “Thanks,”

“Sir,”

Anakin had barely made it three steps away before he halted and glanced back at the Captain, raising a brow.

“Yeah?”

“About General Tacor,”

“What about her, Rex?” He was pretty sure he didn’t like where this was going.

“Does she know yet, sir?” The clone raised an eyebrow, looking as though he was trying not to let his judgmental feelings surface. Letting out a dry, humorless laugh Anakin ran a hand through his hair and shot the other man a look.

“ _What do you think?_ ”

“I think it’s important that you tell her, sir.”

“She doesn’t need to know, Rex.”

“Doesn’t she?” Rex frowned and narrowed his eyes a little. “I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure that what you’re doing is unethical, sir.”

“Listen to me, Rex,” pointing, Anakin worked his jaw and inhaled deeply, nostrils flaring. “Iza doesn’t need to know anything. You don’t know _anything_ about the situation. You wouldn’t understand. She’s better off not knowing and if I find out you’ve said _anything_ —”

“Have I ever said a word about _any_ of your secrets, sir?” Rex asked, giving a defeated shrug. “I apologize, General. If you think she should be left in the dark, then I won’t say anything else about it.”

“Say anything about _what?_ ”

Anakin tensed horribly when Iza strolled into the communications room with Catcher at her side and a datapad in her hands. She looked completely oblivious to the conversation he’d been having with Rex. _Good_. Offering a quick smile, he tried not to look outwardly relieved before he shook his head.

“Well, if I told you, it would count as _saying something_ , wouldn’t it?”

Iza pursed her lips at him and rolled her eyes, muttering something before approaching the console to study the holo map. A frown twisted her features as she tipped her head and reached up to silently rearrange a few things before grunting and giving a quick flick of her fingers in Catcher’s direction.

“Yes sir,” nodding, the Commander turned to leave, casting a quick grimacing glance at Rex. The blond made a face after him and let his shoulders sag. This wasn’t going to be good.

“Your plan is flat,” Iza mumbled, not looking up from the datapad.

“Flat?” Anakin strode back over and squinted at her. “Flat _how?_ ”

“You only have ground plans. There’s nothing here for the airmen. I know you don’t think we can overtake a base with foot soldiers alone?”

“I…” blinking, the younger Jedi glanced at the map and then back at her, “Isn’t ground assault your specialty?”

“Mm,” she nodded. “But I have to work around _you_ and Torrent. Gives me a little bit of a handicap when I can’t put Slade and Buck in the game.”

“Nobody said you couldn’t use your whole team, sweetness,” Anakin made a face and leaned against the edge of the console, folding his arms. Iza snorted and pointed her thumb over her shoulder.

“I was told to _make room_. I’ve done my best to integrate your best with mine.”

“ _Rex_.” The taller Jedi frowned over the top of Iza’s head and watched the blond rub a palm over his shorn hair.

“Sir,” he turned his hand up and shrugged. “I never said she had to remove men from her team. I just suggested that she keep our boys in mind when making her plans.”

“And I have,” tapping the surface of the datapad, Iza sent the information to the holo console and pulled it up for them to see. Pointing to the mess of blue dots on the new map, she started flicking them around in various areas before moving the maroon ones into place. “If the Stars move in from the position you had us in previously, we should be able to provide enough of an opening for you and your boys to sweep in and clean house. It’ll be a little messy. I’m not sure what sort of clankers they’ve got behind those walls, but it’s nothing we can’t handle.” Looking up at Anakin, she shot a wide, teasing smile. “Maybe I’ll get lucky and get to play with some commandos.”

“You stop that,” he shook his head and huffed quietly, looking back at the map. “This is essentially what we’d decided on. I take it these two dots here are your airmen?”

“Mm,” she nodded curtly and squinted before dragging two of the blue dots into play. “Throw in two of yours and we can bring it to the ground. No sweat. If you don’t want to use flyboys, heavy gunners will work.”

“You’re really into this, aren’t you?” A slow smile started to spread across Anakin’s lips as he gazed at her, tipping his head lightly. Iza snorted and shrugged a shoulder.

“This is the boring part,” sucking her teeth, she shifted the position of a few dots thoughtfully. “I prefer putting the plans into motion. Especially when something doesn’t go _perfectly_. That’s the best. Thinking on your toes is the perfect rush. There’s not much that compares to it.”

“Really?” He probably shouldn’t have given her such a flirty look with all of the crew in the room, but Anakin couldn’t help it. It only got worse when she shot him a teasing glance and straightened her back smugly.

“ _Really_.” And then the map blinked out and she tapped her fingers against the top of her datapad, humming before pivoting on her heel to walk out. “See you in the mess, Skywalker. Be nice to your Captain.”

“Yes ma’am,” his eyes followed her as she walked out and he let out a deep sigh without realizing it when she disappeared around a corner. It took a moment before he remembered that Rex was still in the room. Looking back at the other man, he straightened and cleared his throat. “Well, what do you think?”

“I think you need to be careful, sir.”

“ _About the plans, Rex,_ ”

“The plans are fine, sir,” the blond shrugged and moved to take the datacard from the console. “I’ll pass them on to the boys for discussion. I’m sure they’ll agree that they’re sufficient.”

“Rex,”

“Yes sir?”

Anakin hesitated, doing his best not to grind his teeth as he looked towards the hall, and then down at his boots. It took about a solid minute before he looked at the clone Captain and frowned.

“I don’t want to hurt her. You understand that, right? Telling her… telling her would hurt her.”

Rex looked as though he was trying to choose his words carefully.

“Sir,” he spoke slowly, doing his best to keep eye contact with the other man. “If the roles were reversed, wouldn’t you want to know?”

 _Stars._ Anakin hated that he had a point. He also hated that he couldn’t even _lie_ and say that he would rather be kept in the dark. His anxiety barely allowed him to live with the idea that Padme might be cheating on him with some unknown man as it was. If the roles were reversed and Iza had a husband that she kept secret from him—he’d lose his fucking mind. She had been kind enough to be up front with him about having slept with her Commander. She’d been under no obligation to do that. She’d just been _honest_. But he couldn’t be honest about this. Being honest about being married meant potentially screwing up his whole life as a Jedi. He’d explained this to Rex when the man had found out about Padme in the first place. Certainly he could cut him some slack for _that_ reason alone? Judging by the way Rex was looking at him, _probably not_.

“Yeah,” he said quietly, pushing away from the console. He gave a halfhearted pat to Rex’s armored shoulder and moved to leave the room. He needed to get out of here. The air was too stuffy. Maybe there was something in the hangar he could toy with for a little while until he could get his head on straight again. Or maybe he’d see what Snips was up to. Last he’d checked, she was chatting away with some of the Torrent clones. He was so lost in thought as he navigated the corridors that he barely noticed the light footfalls that had begun to tail after him. It was only when he was suddenly dragged around a corner that he came back to full focus and damn near threw a punch at the figure behind him.

“Take it easy!” Iza threw her hands up to keep him from striking out at her, laughing and taking hold of his hands to kiss his knuckles. “What’s clouding your mind, Skywalker?”

“It’s you,” he breathed quietly, smiling in relief. When Iza gave a confused look, he chuckled and wound his arms around her shoulders, tucking his chin against the top of her head. “Never mind. I thought we were going to meet in the mess?”

“I changed my mind,” she nuzzled her face in the middle of his chest and hummed quietly, sliding her hands along his sides. “What’s up with Rex today? He feels very _edgy._ ”

 _Stars_.

“He gets like this sometimes when we work with new companies,” shrugging, Anakin pulled back enough to smile down at her. “Don’t let it get to you. He’ll be fine by the time we head out.”

“I don’t think he likes my methods.”

“Sweetness, _I_ find your methods unconventional,” chuckling, he dared to plant the lightest of kisses to her forehead. It was dangerous to even hold her while standing around in the open like this, but he couldn’t help himself. “But neither of us is going to stop you. Rex knows you bring back more men than most Generals. He trusts you. _I_ trust you.”

“He just kept giving me such a weird look,” frowning, Iza sighed and traced her fingers along the worn leather of Anakin’s belt. “He was free to speak up if he had an issue with my plans. He did not have to silently judge my calls.”

Anakin bit down on his tongue, hesitating.

“I don’t think…” did he want to do this? Was it _smart_ to do this here, on the cruiser where neither of them could escape if it went bad? It wasn’t going to go _well_ , he knew that. But he would have preferred to give Iza space to run if she didn’t want to be near him after learning about Padme. Thankfully, she seemed disinterested in what he had to say in the first place.

“I think he thinks I’m trying to take over the operation. _I’m not_. This is a big one and I’m fully aware that we need more than just _my_ squad this time,” Iza scrunched her nose and brushed her palm over the front of his tunic to smooth out invisible creases. “The boys and I prefer to do things alone. It’s common knowledge. That does not mean we will not work with others when the situation calls for it.”

“Why _do_ you prefer to work alone?” He couldn’t stop watching her and the way she fidgeted with his clothes. It was almost like she was taking out her little habit on him instead of tugging at her hair or picking at her nails the way she often did when she was nervous or upset. It made him wonder what was really going on in her head. He had half a mind to pry—and then decided against it. Iza was very open and honest with him—as far as he knew—and she would not hide anything from him for long if it was truly bothering her. He had never assisted her in battle before. Maybe this was just how she happened to behave beforehand?

“It’s easier to concentrate when I know how many men I’m going in with. I can keep track of my own and make sure I come out with as many of them as possible.” Shrugging, the brunette started to lean into him, setting her attention on the buckles keeping the glove on his mechno hand sealed. She did not toy with them. She only traced her fingers along the metal in a distracted fashion. “I don’t have to worry about having to stay as mindful without another Jedi on the ground. The last time I had someone with me, I got scolded for being too… reckless.”

“Was it Obi-Wan?” Anakin teased playfully, watching her look up.

“No,” she shook her head and gave a weak laugh. “Master Plo. He commended me for keeping my troops safe under fire but I apparently went about it the wrong way. I do not see how crushing rollies is _the wrong way_.”

“Crushing them?”

Lifting her hand, Iza lightly clenched her hand into a fist and shrugged again. Anakin eyed her, raising an eyebrow. After a moment, he cleared his throat and smiled faintly.

“I think Master Plo was concerned because that power is not something we’re supposed to use unless absolutely necessary.”

“How was it unnecessary?” Iza’s eyes narrowed and her brows twitched lightly downward. “My troops were _trapped_ , Anakin. _Cornered_. You know damn well you can’t use quick attacks on those things when they have their shields up and I wasn’t going to wait around for someone to bring me poppers. I did exactly what was necessary.”

“I’m not disagreeing with you.” He suddenly felt like he needed to backpedal a little before she really got angry with him. “But _most_ other Jedi would see that as—”

“I know exactly what they’d see it as. I know exactly what they think of how I treat my men, Anakin. Do you think I haven’t heard the _unnecessary attachment_ speech from Master Windu since being granted this position?” The brunette huffed and lowered her hands away from his chest, backing out of his arms a little. “I work alone because it allows me to do things the way I want to do them. I don’t have to worry about being judged if I want to take the time to save a fallen trooper and make sure all of the injured ones get back to the gunships. I don’t leave them to die like some people just because they’ve hit the dirt.”

“Are you suggesting—”

“I’m not suggesting anything of _you_ , Anakin,” her tone was bitter and she wouldn’t look at him. “But I’ve heard enough stories. There are other Jedi who do not value the lives of these men the way they ought to.”

“Hey,” nudging a hand beneath her chin, Anakin waited until she’d looked up at him before bowing to gently press his forehead into hers. “I get it. I won’t get in the way of you doing what you need to. Just… be careful.”

“I’m always careful.”

He snorted and gave her a look. He wouldn’t say anything. Mostly because she’d glared at him immediately. Instead, he hummed and dropped a tiny kiss to the end of her nose, drawing her back into his arms. He knew this was stupid. There were far too many people on this cruiser for this to be considered safe. But he found he didn’t care. He just wanted five minutes of having her all to himself where he could comfort _her_ for once. She seemed so nervous and he didn’t like that. Smiling when Iza buried her face in the center of his chest and let out that sweet, soft sound of content she always made when he cuddled her close, Anakin started to nuzzle his nose into her hair when a familiar signature pulsed through the Force and made him tense.

“ _Shit_.” He hated that he had to pull away so suddenly and he made up for it with a quick kiss to her cheek. “Ahsoka’s coming.”

Iza’s smile was faint, but understanding. They would have plenty of time for this later. Hell, he could steer her off towards his private quarters and avoid Snips altogether if she really wanted him to. But they’d already discussed that things needed to continue appearing as natural as possible. He didn’t disagree—not entirely. There was something in her gaze that made him wonder if maybe they _should_ pull a disappearing act. She’d been kind enough to go out of her way and comfort him the day before. Maybe he needed to do the same.

“You remember where my room is, right?” He shot her a teasing smile as he said it. She knew damn well where his quarters were. Giving her a light nudge and another quick kiss, Anakin fought back the urge to haul her against his chest and tipped his head in the general direction of his room. “I’ll be there in a few minutes. Just let me shake her.”

“You don’t have to, Ani,” she brushed her fingers against the back of his hand and shook her head. “You should spend some time with your Padawan. Get her up to speed on the assault plans. I need to confirm with the Stars that you’ve approved them, anyway.”

“Are you sure?” Anakin didn’t want her to feel like she _had_ to disappear if she didn’t want to. This was different than the situation with Padme. She could still hang around if she _wanted_ to. They just couldn’t maintain the same closeness with one another until they were alone again. Lightly hooking his pinky around hers, he gave it a squeeze. “Why don’t you stay and help me go over this with Snips? You explain these things better than I do anyway.”

“Ani,” she wasn’t saying _no_. She wasn’t saying _no_ and she wasn’t pulling away like she was in a hurry to go anywhere else. In fact, she’d started lacing her fingers between his and had even stepped a little closer. He felt the brush of her thumb across his knuckles and caught the contemplative twitch of her brow before her expression softened. “Are you sure she won’t mind? I don’t want to take away her time with you. It’s important that the two of you have time to bond and speak without the ears and eyes of others around. Surely Master Obi-Wan has said this?”

“Ahsoka doesn’t mind.” Why would she? Ahsoka was a pretty sociable girl. She seemed to do well with other people around and he rarely got the sense that she ever _desperately_ needed to see him alone. There’d been a time or two when she’d needed private guidance and Anakin had done his best to deliver it to the extent of his ability—but he did not think Ahsoka would have a problem with having Iza around while they wandered the cruiser.

“ _Cyar’ika_ ,” her voice was so soft, so sweet. He truly wanted to wrap her in his arms and melt away whatever was troubling her under that tough exterior of hers. Smiling as the brunette squeezed his fingers and briefly brought them to her lips for a light kiss, Anakin traced the tip of one beneath her chin and was rewarded with one of those warm smiles of hers. “Spend some time with Ahsoka. An hour or two. I’m not going anywhere but the barracks. I can meet the two of you in the mess, if you want.”

_The barracks?_

“You can’t meet your Commander in the mess as well?” Maybe he shouldn’t have used such a hard tone with her because it took away that sweet look of hers like he’d reached out and slapped her. Anakin felt the flicker of her confusion in the Force as Iza stared at him and raised an eyebrow.

“I…” now she looked flustered. “It’s not just Catcher that I have to talk to, Ani. I have to discuss the plans with everyone. It’s easier for me to do that in the barracks when they’re all in one place.”

“Can’t you just pass the information off to him and let him give the discussion?” Anakin frowned lightly and tipped his head. “That’s part of his job, after all.”

“That isn’t how I do things, Anakin,” shaking her head, the brunette slipped her fingers free from his and gave him a funny look. She didn’t say anything for a long moment and Anakin had to fight the urge to try and read how she was feeling. She didn’t seem to like it very much if it did it when she wasn’t already projecting. “If I just hand off the datapad to Catcher and instruct him to do _my_ job, the Stars aren’t going to be as prepared as I want them to be. That isn’t to say Catcher can’t do the job— _he can_ —I just…” she paused, frowned harder. “Would you want someone else giving Ahsoka orders on your behalf? Watered down suggestions that she might not fully be able to follow through on because she wasn’t given all of the little details?”

“That’s not the same thing,” Anakin laughed shortly, shaking his head. Apparently, this was not the right thing to say. Iza drew back even further from him and gave a frustrated look.

“Spend some time with your Padawan, Skywalker,” she turned her green eyes away and shook her head. “Let me handle things with my men the way I always handle them.”

“Iza—”

“This is not up for discussion, Anakin,” her tone went flat, though it was still oddly soft. “I will not tell you how to train your Padawan. Do not tell me how I ought to behave as a General.”

“Sweetness, wait a minute,” gently catching her around the elbow before she had a chance to step away, Anakin tried to get Iza to look at him, frowning when she seemed to refuse. For a minute, he struggled to find something to say that wouldn’t immediately give away the fact that he didn’t really like the idea of her sitting around _alone_ with her Commander. “I wasn’t trying to tell you how to do your job.”

“You do not trust me.” She whispered, still refusing to bring her gaze up from her boots. “I feel it, Anakin. You do not want me near my own men because you think I’ll misbehave.”

She’d always been disturbingly perceptive, hadn’t she?

“You say you won’t tell me how to train Ahsoka, but you’re telling me how to do it anyway.” He didn’t know why he was getting defensive. There was a part of him that knew he should just let her go and take care of her business. The time would fly by and they’d meet up and have their fun like always. There was no need for any of this. But Anakin couldn’t help that he disliked the idea of leaving her alone with Catcher. They were too friendly with each other. Everything was so _casual_ between them. That was not how a General and a Commander should operate in a professional environment.

“I did no such thing.” Pulling her arm out of his grasp, Iza finally looked up at him with another frustrated expression. “I said I did not want to take away her time with you. It is _extremely_ important that she have that, Anakin. You do not understand what sort of mark it can leave on a person when—”

“Master Skywalker?”

Ahsoka’s curious voice pulled the attention of both Jedi and Iza took the distraction as an opportunity to escape. Anakin had no time at all to react as she walked around him just out of arm’s reach, bowing to Ahsoka on her way. He could only stare after her, lips pressed together tightly as he fought back the urge to follow. It wouldn’t look good if he chased after her. Taking a minute to gather himself and shove all of the rising frustration to the back of his head, he turned to his Padawan and offered an easy smile.

“How’s it going, Snips?”

“Is everything all right?” She was such a good kid. Ahsoka really didn’t need to show any concern for the situation and yet—she seemed to care enough for him to at least _ask_. Maybe Iza was right. Maybe he needed to spend more time with her.

“Yeah,” nodding, he glanced down the hallway with a heavy sigh. “I just said something out of order, I guess.”

“Don’t you always?”

 _Good ol’ Snips_.

“Very funny,” shooting her a look, Anakin snorted and shook his head before folding his arms over his chest. “What are you up to right now?”

“I was coming to see what you were doing, actually.” Ahsoka shrugged and tucked her hands behind her back. Raising a brow, Anakin let out a hum. What _had_ he been doing before he’d run into Iza?

“Well,” he couldn’t remember. Every idea had gone out the window the moment she’d pulled him down the hallway. He’d only been able to focus on the idea of being alone with her. Funny how that seemed to happen a lot more these days. “I was thinking about going to the hangar bay to see what might need fixing. _You_ could use another lesson in rewiring after the last incident.”

“It was my first patch job!” Ahsoka scrunched her nose at him. “And you said I did _pretty well_ for what I was working with.”

“And you did,” waving a hand to get her to follow, Anakin began to lead the way through the corridors. “But there’s always room for improvement.”

~*~*~*~

“What’s wrong, Little Bit?”

Looking up from where she was tucked between the bunks staring blankly at the datapad screen, Iza blinked at Catcher for a moment and slowly shook her head, smiling.

“Nothing. Is everyone up to speed on the new plans?”

Catcher nodded and lowered himself onto the edge of one of the beds, studying her. She hated how he always seemed to know when she wasn’t okay. She _swore_ sometimes that he had a connection to the Force that the other clones did not.

“Do I need to have a talk with him?”

“That’s not necessary, Catch,” again, she shook her head. “I’ve already dealt with the issue.”

“Then why do you look so put off?”

Tapping her fingers against the edge of the datapad, Iza huffed and set it aside to scrub her palms over her face.

“ _Kaysh mirsh solus_.” She muttered, glancing down when she heard the clone snort. “It isn’t funny, Catcher. I nearly got into an argument with him because I can sense he does not trust me to be alone down here. I will not have him interfering with my duties as a General.”

“ _Those_ are your boundaries?” Catcher raised an eyebrow and scoffed quietly. “What about walking around looking like you’ve been attacked by a suckerfish?”

“ _Vaabir not takisit ni._ ”

“Eh? I’m not insulting you.” He shrugged and turned his hands up. “I’m just pointing out a simple fact, sweetheart.”

“You’re just as bad as he is.” Pushing away from the wall, Iza started to venture out into the room when she heard Catcher get up from the bed. She half expected him to grab her by the arm as well and was surprised when he simply walked around to the front of her to keep her from going anywhere.

“Little Bit,” stretching his arms between the bunks to create a barrier, the clone frowned down at her and tilted his head. “Is this the first time he’s expressed distrust in you?”

“ _Now_ you want to be serious?”

“You two were friends before, right?” Clearly, Catcher was not going to answer that question. “Did he ever behave like this in the past?”

Iza bit down on her bottom lip and stared intently at the ground as she tried to recall whether or not Anakin had been like this with her before. There had been a time or two when he’d acted a little funny because of how she used to behave around Master Obi-Wan, but she’d never really thought anything of it at the time. She was sure now that he’d been envious of the fact that she was so enamored with him. But there was no reason for him to behave this way _now_. Iza had no interest in being duplicitous. She knew where he heart resided and even if she could not express it to him, she would remain faithful. Her affections for Catcher were platonic at best, regardless of their physical relationship. The fact that Anakin did not trust her to maintain a sense of control around him made her feel a bit _uncomfortable_ , honestly.

“Not like this, no,” she said finally, glancing back up at him. “I never sensed so much mistrust in him before.”

“That’s not a good sign, sweetheart,” Catcher said quietly. When she didn’t say anything, he dropped one of his arms away to allow her freedom to leave if she wanted it, breathing a soft sigh. “I’m not going to tell you what to do. But I would like you to be careful, eh?”

“I’ll be careful,” Iza nodded, poking her tongue around in her cheek thoughtfully. “Is it my fault?”

“What do you mean?”

“Come on, Catch,” she waved a hand and rolled her eyes. “You know the Temple talks about me. Do you think maybe the rumors are getting to him? He _insists_ he isn’t bothered by the fact that we slept together, and he hasn’t asked me not to sleep down here in the barracks.”

“You’ve been sleeping up in his quarters. That’s why.”

“But he didn’t _ask_ me to. I made the decision.”

“And what about when we’re not on duty with him?” Both of Catcher’s brows went up as he fixed her with a pointed look. “What are you going to say to him if he says you can’t sleep in your bunk?”

“It’s _my_ bunk for a reason.” Iza scoffed and made a face. “These are _my_ barracks, Catcher. He does not rule over me.”

“That does not answer my question.”

“I will tell him the same thing I’ve already told him. I don’t require the same luxuries as the other Jedi. I am a soldier and this is where I rest my head when I choose to rest.” The brunette frowned hard and straightened her back. “He will not take that from me.”

Catcher seemed unable to help the soft look of adoration that sank into his features before he let out a quiet grunt and nodded. Sucking in a deep breath through his teeth, he let it out in a sigh and gave her chin a playful pinch.

“That’s my girl,” he sobered quickly as if realizing that he _probably_ shouldn’t have done that, and cleared his throat as he stepped aside. “If he puts up a fuss, might I suggest a nice, solid _kov'nyn_ to set him straight?”

“I will not head-butt him, Catcher,” giving his shoulder a push as she laughed, Iza shook her head. “I’d probably hurt him.”

“I don’t know if you’d be able to reach, Little Bit,” he grinned when she shoved him again. “Don’t hit me. It’s not my fault you’re so small, _vod’ika_.”

“ _Ni’ll kadala gar_.” Iza warned, pointing at him. Catcher shrugged nonchalantly and grinned wider.

“ _Gar liser kebbur_.”

Sucking her teeth, Iza rolled her head around on her shoulders and popped her knuckles, watching the way Catcher’s hazel-centered eyes lit up before she stepped forward and roughly bumped her chest into his. He gave a hard push in return, silently glad that he hadn’t put the top half of his bucket gear on after his shower, and grunted when she shouldered him hard enough to make him take a few steps back.

“ _Easy_ , Little Bit,” rubbing the spot with a laugh, he eyed her and tipped his head when she brought her fists up. _Oh_ —she was looking for a real fight. _Well then_. “Sweetheart, you sure?”

“You know the rules, Commander,” Iza took a minute to strip off her lightsaber and toss it on the nearest bed, ignoring the murmurs of the other men beginning to form a group around them. “Don’t hit me in the face. First to the floor buys the other one’s drinks for a week.”

“All right.” He turned his hands up and flashed another wild grin. “But I’m not going easy on you.”

~*~*~*~

Anakin couldn’t sit still. He’d been in the mess hall for over a half hour now and he just kept fidgeting with everything in front of him. He could feel Ahsoka’s eyes on him as he stared at the entrance to the mess, silently wondering where the hell Iza was. She’d said _an hour or two_. Well—it’d been almost _three_ and she still hadn’t shown up. Surely it did not take this long to brief her clones on some simple assault plans? Muttering a curse when he snapped the tines of the fifth plastic fork he’d been playing with, he set it aside and started to get up to fetch another one when the loud, deep chanting of a group of clones caught his attention. Turning his gaze to the front of the mess, Anakin didn’t quite know how to react to the sight of a collection of Iza’s little squadron following after her Commander, who held her perched high on one of his shoulders while she smugly held her hands up and grinned. Her military greys were mussed and she looked sweaty. Catcher seemed to be just as roughed up, though he was pretty jovial about it. Anakin didn’t know what was going on. He didn’t understand the word that the men were shouting, but some of the other clones in the room had started cheering along with them.

“ _Parjii!_ ” Catcher hefted Iza higher and gave the side of her thigh a solid pat. “ _Vod’ika is te parjii!_ ”

“What the _hell_ does that mean?” Anakin muttered, absolutely confused. Beside him, Ahsoka quietly cleared her throat.

“It’s a victory chant, Master.” She waved a hand and shrugged a shoulder. “I’m not sure what they’re celebrating, but it looks like Jedi Tacor is the one who—”

Anakin didn’t stay to hear her finish. He’d gotten up from his seat and was about halfway across the hall when Iza spotted him and an odd look crossed her happy face. She gave Catcher’s hand a little pat and said something to him and Anakin noticed the way the clone shot him a look before carefully lowering the woman onto her feet so she could straighten her clothes. He scowled. He probably shouldn’t have, but Anakin didn’t know what was going on and he didn’t _like_ that he didn’t know what was going on. Strolling right up to the brunette, he stared down at her and watched the way she seemed to reel back from him a bit.

“Ani?”

“I want to talk to you,” he flicked his gaze at Catcher, who was still giving him that strange look. “ _In private_.”

“She hasn’t done anything wrong,” Catcher piped, moving to put himself in between the two Jedi. “We had a bit of a play tussle. It was just a strength test between brothers. _Vod brokar vod._ Ask anyone on the squad.”

Anakin narrowed his eyes like he didn’t quite believe the other man, clenching his jaw hard enough to audibly grind his teeth. His eyes shifted back to Iza, who only nodded and turned her hands up, maintaining the innocent look. The younger Jedi scoffed and shook his head at them both, turning to storm out.

“Anakin!” Following after him, Iza took hold of his sleeve and pulled to halt him. Flinching when he whirled on her, she straightened herself almost immediately and waved to the curious group of clones still standing off behind them. “ _Ask them_.”

“They’re loyal to _you_ , sweetness,” he said plainly, trying to keep his voice down. It wasn’t easy with so much anger flooding his veins. “Do you think I’m going to fall for that?”

“They’re loyal but they’re not _liars_ ,”

“You have nerve parading yourselves around like that, you know,” reaching out, he gave a light tug to the open panel of her jacket and snorted. “I would’ve thought you’d at least have the decency to try and hide it from me.”

“I’ve done nothing wrong!” She looked like she was going to cry. Part of Anakin felt bad. The other part felt almost nothing at all. “ _Cyar’ika_ —”

“Don’t call me that,” he waved his hand at her, making a face. “Don’t call me your weird little clone word.”

Her face withered and she started blinking rapidly, straightening her spine as she swallowed hard and pinched her mouth even harder. Anakin could see the beginnings of tears starting to swell in the corners of her eyes, but she seemed determined not to break in front of her squad. He had to commend her for that. Inhaling sharply through her nose, Iza said nothing at all as she turned and stalked straight out of the mess, leaving her squad to stare after her. Five pairs of similarly shaded eyes turned to stare at Anakin and he immediately felt a sense of unease. Catcher seemed to glare the hardest out of them all. He wasn’t surprised.

“ _Gar're eyn utreekov_.” The clone pointed up at him as he ran to follow after the brunette. Anakin only turned his hands up.

“ _I don’t know what that means_.”

“You’re an idiot, sir,” Rex’s voice startled him half to death when it sounded from behind and he twisted to find the blond standing with a meal tray in one hand and Ahsoka at his side. The clone Captain didn’t look too pleased and his Padawan just looked confused by the entire situation. Anakin half expected someone to throw something at him at this point with how tense the room was, honestly. “He isn’t wrong.”

 _Wow, okay_.

“Thanks, Rex.” Running a hand through his hair Anakin moved to head out of the mess, barely glancing at the other clones who stared after him.

“I was down in the barracks, sir,” Rex had him halting in his tracks again before he even reached the doorway. “The General and her Commander are telling the truth.”

 _Fuck_. Of course they were. Anakin only gave a nod of his head before continuing out. He didn’t have to do much searching to figure out where Iza had gone. She was projecting her upset into the Force loud enough to almost give him a headache. It made him glad that Master Obi-Wan hadn’t decided to join them on this assignment. He’d be a dead man for sure if his former master knew he’d upset her like this. Navigating the halls like he’d been put on autopilot, Anakin found the brunette crouched at the end of a corridor with Catcher kneeling at her side making attempts to comfort her. The clone picked his head up first, he noticed, glancing around like he’d sensed something before twisting to look back at him with narrowed eyes.

“I just want to talk,” Anakin put his hands up, hoping the other man wouldn’t get up and charge him. Catcher seemed like the type to do such a thing.

“Kick gravel, Skywalker,” the clone spat back, turning his attention back to Iza. “She doesn’t want to hear it.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not your call.”

“You can say whatever you have to say from over there,” Catcher was not going to let up.

“ _Iza_ ,” Anakin started to come down the corridor when the Commander rose to his feet and put himself directly in the other man’s way, eyes sharp and angry as they stared up at him.

“ _Back up_.”

“Stand down, Commander,” Anakin hoped to hell the man would heed the order. He had a real funny feeling he wouldn’t. When a few moments passed and the clone stayed rooted to his spot, he knew there was no chance of him obeying at all. “Iza, come on—”

“Catch, _udesiir_.” Iza’s voice was low and a bit raspy, but she didn’t move from her spot nor did she look in Anakin’s direction. Letting out a growling huff, Catcher relaxed his shoulders a bit, still glaring as he went to stand near the brunette again. No one spoke for a few minutes until eventually, Iza scoffed. “You wanted something?”

“I want to talk to you alone,” Anakin tried to keep his tone as even and gentle as possible. It wasn’t easy with the other man glaring daggers at him.

“You’re accusing _both_ of us of misbehaving, Anakin,” picking her head up, Iza shot him a dark look and frowned. “You can say whatever you need to say in front of him, too.”

“Sweetness,” he didn’t know what to say. No—scratch that. He had an _idea_ of what to say, but he wasn’t sure how to phrase it with her Commander present. “How do you think this looks to me?”

“I think it _should_ look like two soldiers having a bit of harmless fun,” shrugging, the brunette glanced away from him. “But apparently it looks like I fucked him in front of my entire squad to you.”

“Iza, you _have_ slept with him.”

“ _Have_ being the key word here. Past tense, Anakin. You said it didn’t bother you because I wasn’t actively doing it anymore.” Letting out a frustrated breath, Iza rubbed a palm against her cheek. “I don’t know what sort of woman you think I am, but I’m not the type to bounce from one man to another. I’m… happy with our arrangement. Catcher understands that, don’t you Catch?”

“Of course,” as rough and flat as the clone’s tone was, Anakin couldn’t help believing him. “We’ve already had this discussion. I’m not sure what _you’re_ worried about, Skywalker, but my relationship with Little Bit is purely platonic at this point.”

“I don’t get it, Ani. You did not have an issue with this until today.” Looking over at him, Iza folded her arms across her knees and rested her head against them. “I am always honest with you. I do not know why you think I would suddenly hide something from you—or that I would suddenly behave this way _at all_.”

She was right, wasn’t she? He needed to stop thinking about her like she was the same as Padme. Iza was a Jedi who held fast to her morals. She wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. He desperately wanted to explain that his head had gotten the better of him, that he had not been able to help thinking the worst. But that would mean explaining _why_ , wouldn’t it? He supposed he could tell her there’d been someone else. A tiny fib about someone in the past who’d been awful to him and made him feel this kind of paranoia wouldn’t be _too_ terrible, right? It would give Iza the explanation she needed for his behavior and maybe get him off the hook for being somewhat of an asshole about the whole thing. Something told him that Catcher wasn’t going to be so quick to accept this, though. He really wished the clone would give them their space.

“Sweetness,” he spoke as soothingly as he could, noting how her entire posture seemed to change. Even when she was upset with him, she was still a bit weak for him. “I don’t know what to say other than _I’m sorry_.”

“Seriously?” Catcher laughed bitterly beside Iza, folding his arms across his chest. “ _That’s it?_ I can think of a few things better than that.”

“Catcher,” the hollow sound of Iza’s knuckles hitting the clone’s thigh armor silenced the man and brought his attention to her. Looking up, she shook her head. “ _Gev._ ”

“Little Bit,”

“ _Ni liser koor ti kaysh_.” Green eyes flicked from the clone to Anakin and then back up to Catcher again. He stood and studied her in silence for a long time before letting out a low, growling breath, nodding slowly.

“ _Ori pirusti_.” He gave a tiny pat of his fingers to her cheek and moved away from her, eyeing Anakin warily as he headed down the corridor. Slowing as he passed him, he dropped his voice as low as he could and snarled, “Make her cry again and I’ll give _you_ something to cry about.”

“ _Catcher_.”

“I’m going.” Giving a light wave of his hand, Catcher continued on his way and disappeared around the corner. When the sound of his boots could no longer be heard, Iza heaved a sigh and slowly rose to her feet. She looked weary. Anakin supposed he couldn’t blame her. When she only shot him a look and snorted, he frowned and stepped a little closer.

“Iza, sweetness,”

“I thought you trusted me more than this, Anakin?” She was walking away from him. He had no choice but to follow after her. “And frankly—I thought you _cared_ about me more than this.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He quickened his pace, coming up alongside her to stare down at her. “Iza, of course I care about you.”

“Do you?” The brunette halted and stared up at him with a hard look in her eye. “Because it suddenly feels like you’re more interested in keeping me on a string. You don’t want me near my Commander. You don’t want me with my own men.”

“Have I said—”

“You do not _have_ to say anything, Anakin,” she puffed up and scrunched her nose in annoyance. Anakin hated himself for finding the expression endearing, in a way. He should not find it _cute_ for her to be so upset with him. “I’ve always been able to read you. I know when you are unhappy with something and I try to remedy it before you _say_ anything about it so it does not cause this sort of conflict. But I will not stand for this. I have told you _multiple_ times that I am a _soldier_. **This** is my duty until the war is over. You will not take this from me and you will not keep me from living the way I choose to. Because it _is_ **my** choice. Not yours.”

“I don’t recall telling you that you could not keep this routine.” Well— _he hadn’t_.

“But you will stomp around like a child and accuse me of sleeping with Catcher when you know good and well that we occasionally just _wrestle_. _Vod brokar vod_. I told you that night at 79’s that it’s just something we do.” Iza made a frustrated noise and smoothed her hand over the top of her hair. “I even told you to ask the squad. My entire battalion was down in the barracks, Ani. Do you honestly think I’d do something so stupid with _that_ many men around?”

“And I told you I know how loyal those clones are to you. Even if you didn’t do anything with him, I know for a fact that they’d keep their mouths shut for the sake of keeping you out of trouble.”

“You’re so sure of that?”

“They respect you too much, Iza. They have their hands on a Jedi General who does not leave a man behind for any reason short of him having been blown to pieces that cannot be found. Do you think they’d be so quick to throw that away?” Anakin snorted and folded his arms. “ _I don’t_.”

Iza stared at him for a long minute before huffing and continuing down the corridor at a quicker pace. He heard her muttering something as she shook her head and had to jog to catch up with her. She hardly glanced at him when he fell back into step beside her, and she muttered another Mando’a word at him. Probably a swear.

“Sweetness, I’m _sorry_.”

“You keep saying that,” Iza turned the corner so fast he missed it and had to backtrack. “But what are you sorry for, Anakin? Accusing me of sleeping with Catcher? Humiliating me in front of the Stars? Making me feel like a _possession?_ ”

“All of it, I guess,” _sheesh_ , had he really fucked up that badly? He hadn’t meant to. He just couldn’t control these thoughts sometimes. He didn’t _want_ to think these terrible things. They just happened. He felt like he trusted her enough to know better. He’d always trusted her before. He didn’t know why he suddenly felt so anxious now.

“May I be honest with you?”

“Of course.”

“It sounds as though you’re apologizing to me for the sake of apologizing. You do not _feel_ remorseful to me, Anakin Skywalker. You feel _scared_. Like you’re worried you’re about to lose something—and you know what?” Iza had stopped outside of a door that he recognized as the one leading into his quarters. He hadn’t even realized that this was where she was leading him. Suddenly, he was both very curious and very confused. “I do not appreciate insincere apologies. I appreciate it even less when they are attached to feelings of _dread_. If you care an ounce for me at all, you will explain to me why I feel such things from you, and you will do it _now_.”

“Am I not allowed to be afraid to lose you?”

“You’re free to feel such a thing when it’s appropriate,” she gave him a look he couldn’t quite read. “But not when you are accusing me of horrible things and are simply trying to cover your own ass with empty apologies.”

“You…” he trailed off and gave her a slow once over, unsure if it was appropriate to smile or not. “You are very assertive when you want to be, aren’t you?”

“I do not tolerate being disrespected by _anyone_ , Anakin. What you are doing is very disrespectful and very _hurtful_. If you wish to have some sort of…” she hesitated and lowered her gaze, licking her lips. “ _Relationship_ with me, you cannot treat me like this. I’m not sure what sort of experience you have in this area—if any—but this is not… you can’t treat someone like _property_.”

 _Property_.

Her use of the word made his stomach roll. The last thing he ever wanted to do was make anyone feel like he held any sort of ownership over them. Faintly, he wondered if his obsessive thoughts about Padme and her possible infidelities had similar undertones to what Iza was describing. _No_. Surely not. There was a difference between what he had with Iza and being _married_. In any case, Anakin Skywalker was the last person in the universe who wanted to _own_ a person. It disgusted him to even think about it. It made him disgusted with _himself_ to think that this was how his behavior was making him look. _Force_ , how could he have been so blind to this? _Property_. Iza belonged to no one but herself. People did not belong to other people, no matter how much they cared for them. Really, he should have known better.

“Iza,” he stepped up as close as he could and cautiously cupped her face in his hands. He wasn’t sure if she was going to allow this. It surprised him a little when she didn’t immediately bat his hands away. “Sweetness, I didn’t mean to. Honestly, I didn’t.”

“Perhaps not,” her voice had gone soft again and she was giving him that gentle look she always did when she relented to him. “But you must be more mindful of your behavior. You know I would not do anything to hurt you. I do not understand why you seem to think the worst of me.”

“I’ve…” he hoped she wouldn’t feel the fact that he was about to lie. He was doing his best to project honesty into the Force and to his defense, he was using his experience with Padme as fodder. “I’ve been hurt this way in the past. Tricked. It was not something that lasted long and I saw no reason to share the experience with anyone. I suppose it left me a bit… paranoid.”

“That is one way to put it,” at least she was smiling. He could consider that a small victory. “You should know better, Anakin. We have been friends for such a long time. I am the last person who would want to hurt you.”

Yeah. He should have known that, shouldn’t he?

“I feel like if I apologize again it will feel repetitive.” Anakin carefully drew her closer, stroking his thumb along her scarred cheek. “But I _am_ sorry.”

“Then I suppose you will need to find another way to apologize to me.” Iza pursed her lips at him and shrugged. Anakin’s brow popped up high on his forehead and he cast a quick glance to the door leading into his quarters before he let out a breathless laugh.

“Is this why you led me here?”

“It might be.”

“This is a very dangerous time to be doing this,” that wasn’t going to stop him from opening the door and sweeping her inside. “We could be attacked or someone could come looking for us.”

“I guess you’d better make it quick, huh?”

Another laugh gusted out of him and he gave a shake of his head, bowing to give her a kiss once the door had slid shut behind them.

“I’m not going to be _quick_ about anything, sweetness. I’m just giving you fair warning in case we have to pause for interruption.”

“Less talking, more apologizing, Skywalker.”

“ _Yes ma’am_.”

**Author's Note:**

> Fic lightly inspired by a passage from _Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth_.  
> Gifted to **ScratchTheMaven** because it's her fault for sending me the passage in the first place.
> 
> Mando'a translations here:   
> http://mandoa.org/  
> https://funtranslations.com/mandalorian


End file.
